Comfort Is The Enemy Of Greatness�|�Accidental Creative
When I stop and think, times of discomfort often brings on the bigger returns in the creative process. I've written on this topic before and I'm glad to have run into Accidental Creative's post to remind me, I'm OK... I am in a state of transition and feel like I'm floating, no ground beneath me to stand upon. I've been quite concerned being in this state, but I'm beginning to feel I should just enjoy the ride. Out of the tunnel, I'm sure I will have some foundation to take a few steps forward to change the direction to something different...
July 24, 2009
Photo Prive
Photo Prive
Music | Big Paul by John Coltrane
Photo Privé
This is the latest incarnation I've come up with where creativity, art and commerce is balanced and where I feel I am not selling out my vision as an artist. That is also the basis of Photo Privé, more so about art and the provocative nature of women, than the 'sexy", "pretty", "gorgeous" adjectives used to portray other photographers that are photographing women in the "boudoir" style.
I don't think Photo Privé and boudoir have anything in common. But to reach the women who want to step up and in many ways, create art for themselves or to the masses, we have to start somewhere. I do in fact think Photo Privé is far beyond where boudoir ends. And so today is born the phrase, photographing women in the Privé tradition...
Music | Big Paul by John Coltrane
Photo Privé
This is the latest incarnation I've come up with where creativity, art and commerce is balanced and where I feel I am not selling out my vision as an artist. That is also the basis of Photo Privé, more so about art and the provocative nature of women, than the 'sexy", "pretty", "gorgeous" adjectives used to portray other photographers that are photographing women in the "boudoir" style.
I don't think Photo Privé and boudoir have anything in common. But to reach the women who want to step up and in many ways, create art for themselves or to the masses, we have to start somewhere. I do in fact think Photo Privé is far beyond where boudoir ends. And so today is born the phrase, photographing women in the Privé tradition...
July 22, 2009
At the Café
Music | White Flag by Dido
She slouches a little, but is so engaged that she is letting her passion of what she speaks of come thru her body, ever more creeping up to the edge of the table. Her eyes are focused and intent. Everything about her says wall flower, down to her brown flats and ruffled brown skirt just above her ankles. She wears a green cardigan sweater covering up a non matching blue and white striped shirt. She reminds me of photos of my Mom that were taken in the 50's. I can't hear the conversation, but it looks of acedemic subject matter. Besides her is a green over the shoulder bag and a book that is 3 inches thick with a pink book marker towards the end. As she and her gentleman talk, her macbook sits in front of her, but closed. Note pad and pen all within reach... Pictures are drawn, ideas being conveyed... I am piqued...
She slouches a little, but is so engaged that she is letting her passion of what she speaks of come thru her body, ever more creeping up to the edge of the table. Her eyes are focused and intent. Everything about her says wall flower, down to her brown flats and ruffled brown skirt just above her ankles. She wears a green cardigan sweater covering up a non matching blue and white striped shirt. She reminds me of photos of my Mom that were taken in the 50's. I can't hear the conversation, but it looks of acedemic subject matter. Besides her is a green over the shoulder bag and a book that is 3 inches thick with a pink book marker towards the end. As she and her gentleman talk, her macbook sits in front of her, but closed. Note pad and pen all within reach... Pictures are drawn, ideas being conveyed... I am piqued...
July 03, 2009
When you CAN go home...
Music | Golden Rust by Robert Miles
Just in from a bike ride in 90º heat, I've fallen to my chair in front of the computer not knowing what to do... Flipping thru sites, I've come to Tabula Rasa knowing it has been many days since my last post and many days for that one as well.
I'll just move on as if nothing has happened and try to pick up the pace... My Dad's health has been waning, but not to the extent where we were told by a doctor that he had 1 to 2 months of life left about 6 weeks ago... He shortly came back several days later to tell my Dad he was wrong. Meanwhile the family was scrambling trying to figure out what to do. I made flight plans with Dara to fly back. Well, the bad news turned into good, Dara and I had a trip to take and we all made the best of it. We got to see family and friends and I decided to make the trip all about food.
While in Chicago, I made sure to hit everything I have been craving since the last time I was in Chicago... 1st morning there, we were off to the Golden Apple on Clark street. Though it was made famous by the public radio series, This American Life, I used to go at least once a week with my good buddy Todd way back in the day...
After returning from our visit to Wisconsin, our first stop was The Wiener Circle. I had to get my mouth around a Char Cheddar Hot Dog and Dara got a more traditional Chicago dog. Fries of course was a must...
I was not used to the hot and humid heavy air that bestowed us on our visit, but a few afternoons to the beaches along Lake Michigan was a great way to cool off. We also made it to Mario's on Taylor. The best Italian Ice in the city!!!
I was determined to get to a few difficult places as well, one being Uno's Pizza. Mayor Daley has really made parking downtown ridiculous. Dara and I did get lucky and found a spot about a block away. I've longed for Uno's for years, hitting other venues like Lou Malnatti's, Gino's... I was satisfied, but a little disappointed. I thought the crust was a bit over cooked. Left overs later that night was fantastic!
A few others I've been yearning for...
The gyros plate was from some Greek dive on Clark. I also hit the south side for Harold's chicken in Hyde Park. I've recently heard the one to go to however is on 87th just off the Dan Ryan. I was quite satisfied with my 1/2 with salt, pepper and mild sauce...
Just in from a bike ride in 90º heat, I've fallen to my chair in front of the computer not knowing what to do... Flipping thru sites, I've come to Tabula Rasa knowing it has been many days since my last post and many days for that one as well.
I'll just move on as if nothing has happened and try to pick up the pace... My Dad's health has been waning, but not to the extent where we were told by a doctor that he had 1 to 2 months of life left about 6 weeks ago... He shortly came back several days later to tell my Dad he was wrong. Meanwhile the family was scrambling trying to figure out what to do. I made flight plans with Dara to fly back. Well, the bad news turned into good, Dara and I had a trip to take and we all made the best of it. We got to see family and friends and I decided to make the trip all about food.
While in Chicago, I made sure to hit everything I have been craving since the last time I was in Chicago... 1st morning there, we were off to the Golden Apple on Clark street. Though it was made famous by the public radio series, This American Life, I used to go at least once a week with my good buddy Todd way back in the day...
After returning from our visit to Wisconsin, our first stop was The Wiener Circle. I had to get my mouth around a Char Cheddar Hot Dog and Dara got a more traditional Chicago dog. Fries of course was a must...
I was not used to the hot and humid heavy air that bestowed us on our visit, but a few afternoons to the beaches along Lake Michigan was a great way to cool off. We also made it to Mario's on Taylor. The best Italian Ice in the city!!!
I was determined to get to a few difficult places as well, one being Uno's Pizza. Mayor Daley has really made parking downtown ridiculous. Dara and I did get lucky and found a spot about a block away. I've longed for Uno's for years, hitting other venues like Lou Malnatti's, Gino's... I was satisfied, but a little disappointed. I thought the crust was a bit over cooked. Left overs later that night was fantastic!
A few others I've been yearning for...
The gyros plate was from some Greek dive on Clark. I also hit the south side for Harold's chicken in Hyde Park. I've recently heard the one to go to however is on 87th just off the Dan Ryan. I was quite satisfied with my 1/2 with salt, pepper and mild sauce...
June 08, 2009
Here I am...
Music | Between the Lines by Sara Bareilles
It has been a shitty last few months... Business has been as slow as it has ever been, I found my Dad has 1 to 2 months of life, but a few days later, that expectation was changed by the same doctor who layed that news on us. Lots of 'stuff' that just isn't very inspiring and the worst part is, I'm aware of it all...
Good news is that I am going back to the Midwest, to see my Dad and the rest of the family. Dara will be able to hang out with her cousins and spend more time in the BIG CITY. Still lots of other concerns putting the weight on my shoulders and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. Gut check and I'm not in the shape I need to be in to prepare...
Good news is that I've been creating lately. I'm working on a new website and going after a new market. When I launch, I'll announce it here...
So as to try and ease my nerves, I sit at yet another café. Today it is the Lady Bug in St. Johns. Nice to see Farnell Newton, jazz trumpet extraordinaire, Mayor Fish and a few other friends that dropped in.
I'm appreciating the little things to get me by...
It has been a shitty last few months... Business has been as slow as it has ever been, I found my Dad has 1 to 2 months of life, but a few days later, that expectation was changed by the same doctor who layed that news on us. Lots of 'stuff' that just isn't very inspiring and the worst part is, I'm aware of it all...
Good news is that I am going back to the Midwest, to see my Dad and the rest of the family. Dara will be able to hang out with her cousins and spend more time in the BIG CITY. Still lots of other concerns putting the weight on my shoulders and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. Gut check and I'm not in the shape I need to be in to prepare...
Good news is that I've been creating lately. I'm working on a new website and going after a new market. When I launch, I'll announce it here...
So as to try and ease my nerves, I sit at yet another café. Today it is the Lady Bug in St. Johns. Nice to see Farnell Newton, jazz trumpet extraordinaire, Mayor Fish and a few other friends that dropped in.
I'm appreciating the little things to get me by...
May 22, 2009
May 18, 2009
Beautiful Women
Music | Or Truth? by Uri Caine
I'm blown away at the time since my last post. Besides the really shitty news I recently received, which I will try and delve into later, I'm finding it hard to believe it has been over a month since I last posted.
Over the weekend my very good friend GG aka Sherry had her 40th birthday. I brought my camera along for the hell of it, not really intending to shoot, but did so anyway. During the early evening as everyone had settled, after the merriment of eating and drinking and eating cake, calmness took over and I was able to photograph each and everyone there. As I quickly pulled off a few frames of each, I knew that within a few I had shot, I was presented with a few master pieces. One never knows when these images will appear, but within a matter of a minute, I was given several!
I'm blown away at the time since my last post. Besides the really shitty news I recently received, which I will try and delve into later, I'm finding it hard to believe it has been over a month since I last posted.
Over the weekend my very good friend GG aka Sherry had her 40th birthday. I brought my camera along for the hell of it, not really intending to shoot, but did so anyway. During the early evening as everyone had settled, after the merriment of eating and drinking and eating cake, calmness took over and I was able to photograph each and everyone there. As I quickly pulled off a few frames of each, I knew that within a few I had shot, I was presented with a few master pieces. One never knows when these images will appear, but within a matter of a minute, I was given several!
April 08, 2009
April 06, 2009
March 27, 2009
Music | Golden Rust by Robert Miles & Trilok Gurtu
Moving back in time, here is a shot I did earlier this year. I think the shoot itself is a treasure trove of great images. It is a matter of cropping and playing with the contrast of the lighting. There wasn't a lot to crop here, but I did enhance the contrast.
Moving back in time, here is a shot I did earlier this year. I think the shoot itself is a treasure trove of great images. It is a matter of cropping and playing with the contrast of the lighting. There wasn't a lot to crop here, but I did enhance the contrast.
March 23, 2009
Sherry, by 4x5
Music | Agua by Jose Padilla
So I'm really happy with the image of Sherry here... I'm just figuring I need to be much more selective and have more of a keen sense as to when to press the shutter to release. Other issues I was having was in the scanning process and I'm finding there really isn't this 4x5 monster I thought I was having a battle with. Frankly, with 4x5, I'm shooting much less that I would with the digital slr and I need to slow not only my physical pace, but my mental one as well.
So I'm really happy with the image of Sherry here... I'm just figuring I need to be much more selective and have more of a keen sense as to when to press the shutter to release. Other issues I was having was in the scanning process and I'm finding there really isn't this 4x5 monster I thought I was having a battle with. Frankly, with 4x5, I'm shooting much less that I would with the digital slr and I need to slow not only my physical pace, but my mental one as well.
March 21, 2009
The Trouble with Film...
Music | Until the Morning by Thievery Corporation
My journey back to film has been rough... I'm not sure what it is about using my 4x5 camera that I can't bring home the bacon... I'm very confident that when I go out on assignment or a personal shoot that I will come back with a winner when shooting with my digital slr. I don't have to think when using that equipment... it is like they are second nature to me.
I know I'm still in the, getting to know you phase with the 4x5, but I didn't think I would have so much trouble seeing what I think I see in the view finder and what I'm getting back on film.
For the last several shoots, I have intentionally not brought the digital slr to have as a back up, because I thought my mind set of shooting film would be contaminated. I would know in the back of my mind I could rely on the digital if I didn't get a decent image on film... Well, for my recent shoot, my muse Sherry who always brings me back great images, I really did not want another failed attempt and tried to study my way. I hope I didn't put myself in a position of thinking too much, but I won't know until I process the film and see what I have.
With the Sherry shoot, I did bring out the digital slr and shot off a few frames to try and decipher any clues to try and improve my vision with the 4x5. Our session was yesterday morning in the North Light Studio and went well. I am confident with the images on 4x5, but will compare, what I'm getting with the digital slr. I hope to process the film tomorrow and do a decent job scanning the negs, which is another art form in itself...
My journey back to film has been rough... I'm not sure what it is about using my 4x5 camera that I can't bring home the bacon... I'm very confident that when I go out on assignment or a personal shoot that I will come back with a winner when shooting with my digital slr. I don't have to think when using that equipment... it is like they are second nature to me.
I know I'm still in the, getting to know you phase with the 4x5, but I didn't think I would have so much trouble seeing what I think I see in the view finder and what I'm getting back on film.
For the last several shoots, I have intentionally not brought the digital slr to have as a back up, because I thought my mind set of shooting film would be contaminated. I would know in the back of my mind I could rely on the digital if I didn't get a decent image on film... Well, for my recent shoot, my muse Sherry who always brings me back great images, I really did not want another failed attempt and tried to study my way. I hope I didn't put myself in a position of thinking too much, but I won't know until I process the film and see what I have.
With the Sherry shoot, I did bring out the digital slr and shot off a few frames to try and decipher any clues to try and improve my vision with the 4x5. Our session was yesterday morning in the North Light Studio and went well. I am confident with the images on 4x5, but will compare, what I'm getting with the digital slr. I hope to process the film tomorrow and do a decent job scanning the negs, which is another art form in itself...
March 20, 2009
March 19, 2009
My Portland Photographer
I can't say it better than this... About Us.
I'm proud to be a member of, My Portland Photographer, the best Wedding Photographers in Portland. Check out the site and see some amazing wedding imagery...
I'm proud to be a member of, My Portland Photographer, the best Wedding Photographers in Portland. Check out the site and see some amazing wedding imagery...
March 05, 2009
Slims
Music | Come Sunday by Charles Lloyd
The are places like these in all of our neighborhoods... Place you drive by, never notice or if you do, you mark it as a place to go, but don't... Suddenly, the months turn to years and then, 5 years and then 7...
Tony of Patty Daddy fame suggested we finally hit Slims in downtown St. Johns. I've lived not more than a mile away from year for 7 years. Tony, even more... I had my expectations of the place, but was pleasantly surprised by the interior...
The menu here is typical tavern food though the sign out front says restaurant. There was no wait, but we had a great bartender server. She kept the drinks full and was attentive. I had a very good basic hamburger and fries with a coke and Tony had the Bleu Burger, which he said he was very happy with.
We've got a few other place to visit on the St Johns strip and if they are like Slims, there will be lots of other place to have a decent burger!
The are places like these in all of our neighborhoods... Place you drive by, never notice or if you do, you mark it as a place to go, but don't... Suddenly, the months turn to years and then, 5 years and then 7...
Tony of Patty Daddy fame suggested we finally hit Slims in downtown St. Johns. I've lived not more than a mile away from year for 7 years. Tony, even more... I had my expectations of the place, but was pleasantly surprised by the interior...
The menu here is typical tavern food though the sign out front says restaurant. There was no wait, but we had a great bartender server. She kept the drinks full and was attentive. I had a very good basic hamburger and fries with a coke and Tony had the Bleu Burger, which he said he was very happy with.
We've got a few other place to visit on the St Johns strip and if they are like Slims, there will be lots of other place to have a decent burger!
February 26, 2009
A beginning...
Music | Imhotep by Roy Campbell
Images from my all film shoot became reality today after processing 18 sheets of film. One by one, out of the reels the 4x5 sheets of film came off, into the last solution of chemicals before drying. There is a certain type of joy seeing images, even negs after having to wait for them. The instant gratification is gone, which tends to make me think I'm appreciating what I'm creating with even more gratification...
I'm still finding my way, and not to think I should even have a path at this point (I have to remember that). My mind is still clouded by this event. I imagine I'll be gathering my thoughts throughout the next few days, weeks, into my next shoot... I feel alive coming back... It has been around 10 years since I shot only film, processing my black and white images and printing... Running to and from the lab having my colour images processed... a decade ago...
I've written in a little journal/note pad a list of words that interests me...
-purity
-tradition
-history
-sincerity
-truth
I had in mind also photography and what was important to me - I think the culmination of those words circle my feelings of coming back to film. I'm obviously making the idea of shooting film again a rather monumental event in my life. Maybe, finally I am moving, reaching, yearning to allow photography and my passion for it to take me where I belong...
Anyway, not having a darkroom, I am scanning images and will be printing them with my ink jet printer until I move into yet another phase of photography that I have never before attempted. That will be another post a few months down the road...
Cain has become a muse of mine in the last several months. In her own right, she is also becoming quite a photographer herself...
Images from my all film shoot became reality today after processing 18 sheets of film. One by one, out of the reels the 4x5 sheets of film came off, into the last solution of chemicals before drying. There is a certain type of joy seeing images, even negs after having to wait for them. The instant gratification is gone, which tends to make me think I'm appreciating what I'm creating with even more gratification...
I'm still finding my way, and not to think I should even have a path at this point (I have to remember that). My mind is still clouded by this event. I imagine I'll be gathering my thoughts throughout the next few days, weeks, into my next shoot... I feel alive coming back... It has been around 10 years since I shot only film, processing my black and white images and printing... Running to and from the lab having my colour images processed... a decade ago...
I've written in a little journal/note pad a list of words that interests me...
-purity
-tradition
-history
-sincerity
-truth
I had in mind also photography and what was important to me - I think the culmination of those words circle my feelings of coming back to film. I'm obviously making the idea of shooting film again a rather monumental event in my life. Maybe, finally I am moving, reaching, yearning to allow photography and my passion for it to take me where I belong...
Anyway, not having a darkroom, I am scanning images and will be printing them with my ink jet printer until I move into yet another phase of photography that I have never before attempted. That will be another post a few months down the road...
Cain has become a muse of mine in the last several months. In her own right, she is also becoming quite a photographer herself...
February 24, 2009
No Turning Back...
Music | Falling for You by Jem
Earlier today, I had my very first shoot where I left my digital camera behind. It was a premeditated decision as I know that if I am ever to be a great 4x5 film portrait photographer, I had to let the reins go, jump off to the deep end, run with scissors in my hands... Minutes before leaving I thought to just bring the 5D and a 50mm lens, but in the end, I jumped without a parachute.
The dynamic of this shoot would for sure be totally different had I had my digital camera with me. I would know I could always have insurance to have at least one suitable photograph, because I would have shot with the digital until I was satisfied.
To this moment, over 6 hours after I have since finished shooting, I have no idea how the shoot went. I've got my suspicions, but frankly, I won't know until tomorrow after I process the film and start scanning...
Earlier today, I had my very first shoot where I left my digital camera behind. It was a premeditated decision as I know that if I am ever to be a great 4x5 film portrait photographer, I had to let the reins go, jump off to the deep end, run with scissors in my hands... Minutes before leaving I thought to just bring the 5D and a 50mm lens, but in the end, I jumped without a parachute.
The dynamic of this shoot would for sure be totally different had I had my digital camera with me. I would know I could always have insurance to have at least one suitable photograph, because I would have shot with the digital until I was satisfied.
To this moment, over 6 hours after I have since finished shooting, I have no idea how the shoot went. I've got my suspicions, but frankly, I won't know until tomorrow after I process the film and start scanning...
February 11, 2009
A Very Fruitful Day
Music | Lived in Bars by Cat Power
A Business Summit and a Photo Critique in the same day, along with getting my daughter up and off to school, while also trying to fit in some printing for the critique, then picking up my daughter after school...
The great thing about these 2 events was that I considered the attendees of these events as some of the best in the business. During these economic times, everyone is feeling the pressure and downturn in business. Ironically, a bunch of competitors in the business of photography decided not to shun each other, but to embrace and share experiences and try to figure out what good can come out of moving forward together, as opposed to trying to go at things alone. We also had the presence of a few business minded people to give advice on how to sell, close sales and over all just think about where we would like to be 20 years from now and how to get there. I left the summit fortified and felt very much a part of a community that is trying to move forward, together.
My rush back to the city led me to pick up my daughter from school and finish one more print for the critique, which was less than 2 hours away. Having been printing the night before until late into the evening, it felt great producing art, in hard copy form. I hate to use that term, but a photograph has been used so loosely lately. After my 3rd turn at making slight adjustments here and there, my last and final print looked just they way I wanted. I produced 4 images, but was not at all feeling confident. The attendees of this critique are some of the best old school printers I know. I've seen 2 of their works and another I heard was and has been a dark room master for years.
I've heard about photographers getting together, having dinner, drinking wine, then sit over prints just talking, discussing... I've always wanted to have that type of relationship with others to be able to do the same. Ironically, I only knew one of the gents, Ray Bidigain well enough to call a friend. However, the rest of the photographers were quite welcoming and I felt relaxed enough to make my first presentation to them. Much more formal than I had anticipated, there was a easel under a spot light to really show off the photograph, one by one. As we went thru each print, I felt more comfortable as I felt my photography and skill as a printer were accepted among each of the gents there. It was gratifying to know that these highly skilled Platinum Palladium, Tin Type and Silver Gelitan printers were giving praise to my ink jets. It meant a lot.
So hopefully in the near future, I'll have a thriving photography business, while creating works of art, both in digital and traditional mediums. It certainly feels much better going at this as a ground, than solo...
A Business Summit and a Photo Critique in the same day, along with getting my daughter up and off to school, while also trying to fit in some printing for the critique, then picking up my daughter after school...
The great thing about these 2 events was that I considered the attendees of these events as some of the best in the business. During these economic times, everyone is feeling the pressure and downturn in business. Ironically, a bunch of competitors in the business of photography decided not to shun each other, but to embrace and share experiences and try to figure out what good can come out of moving forward together, as opposed to trying to go at things alone. We also had the presence of a few business minded people to give advice on how to sell, close sales and over all just think about where we would like to be 20 years from now and how to get there. I left the summit fortified and felt very much a part of a community that is trying to move forward, together.
My rush back to the city led me to pick up my daughter from school and finish one more print for the critique, which was less than 2 hours away. Having been printing the night before until late into the evening, it felt great producing art, in hard copy form. I hate to use that term, but a photograph has been used so loosely lately. After my 3rd turn at making slight adjustments here and there, my last and final print looked just they way I wanted. I produced 4 images, but was not at all feeling confident. The attendees of this critique are some of the best old school printers I know. I've seen 2 of their works and another I heard was and has been a dark room master for years.
I've heard about photographers getting together, having dinner, drinking wine, then sit over prints just talking, discussing... I've always wanted to have that type of relationship with others to be able to do the same. Ironically, I only knew one of the gents, Ray Bidigain well enough to call a friend. However, the rest of the photographers were quite welcoming and I felt relaxed enough to make my first presentation to them. Much more formal than I had anticipated, there was a easel under a spot light to really show off the photograph, one by one. As we went thru each print, I felt more comfortable as I felt my photography and skill as a printer were accepted among each of the gents there. It was gratifying to know that these highly skilled Platinum Palladium, Tin Type and Silver Gelitan printers were giving praise to my ink jets. It meant a lot.
So hopefully in the near future, I'll have a thriving photography business, while creating works of art, both in digital and traditional mediums. It certainly feels much better going at this as a ground, than solo...
January 26, 2009
Thoughts coming thru the Chaos
Music | April Grove by Martina Topley Bird
For the past 10 years, my photography has been consumed by digital. In that time, I went thru 6 different camera bodies - Unlike the Hasselblad which I used for over 15 years before I sold it. Now I wish I had it again. I think I went thru 5 computers as well, not to mention the technologies that have died off like various drives(floppy, zip, jazz), monitors and other costly upgrades...
I kept a working darkroom from 1983 to 1999... 16 years! With the various necessities I had to invest in, I also built by hand, darkroom sinks, tables, shelves, drying frames - rigged plumbing... Equipment was much more personal, was a part of me which in essence the final work felt so much more apart of me as well. I've got my high end digital printer, which is now all ready 2 generations old. I use some of the finest papers available. And though I feel I've created amazing photographic prints, I never felt the connection I had when pulling a print out of the developer or fix, or seeing the print that took over night to dry and view if for the first time in optimal light to see the subtle shadow details or creamy highlights. It took not only my hard earned artistic sensibilities, but years of achieving a level of skill - No purchasing a set of actions or filters or a box of packaged goods could suddenly create what I toiled after.
My peers have moved on, have embraced the digital realm and are making good livings. Like early in my digital career, learning and keeping up with the new and ever changing technologies was easy. Now I notice things don't come as easy and simple. I often feel like the old man who can't keep up, just comprehending the things that are even basic is difficult.
I'm finding it harder and harder to find the truth, my center. Photography, my salvation, my passion - I'm finding it hasn't been consoling for me. I am proud of the fact that I have been creating, shooting more in the last few years than I have ever before... I've created some photos that I am very proud of. But with this digital process, I know as well that some of my finest work aren't photographs... They are pixels on a screen. The are in essence, nothing. I've been more keen to photography that is nothing... I still manage to get feedback on them, but if all we have of the images is nothing, is there a point?
I'm not a child of pixels and bytes, zeroes and ones... Maybe that is why I am feeling so displaced...
For the past 10 years, my photography has been consumed by digital. In that time, I went thru 6 different camera bodies - Unlike the Hasselblad which I used for over 15 years before I sold it. Now I wish I had it again. I think I went thru 5 computers as well, not to mention the technologies that have died off like various drives(floppy, zip, jazz), monitors and other costly upgrades...
I kept a working darkroom from 1983 to 1999... 16 years! With the various necessities I had to invest in, I also built by hand, darkroom sinks, tables, shelves, drying frames - rigged plumbing... Equipment was much more personal, was a part of me which in essence the final work felt so much more apart of me as well. I've got my high end digital printer, which is now all ready 2 generations old. I use some of the finest papers available. And though I feel I've created amazing photographic prints, I never felt the connection I had when pulling a print out of the developer or fix, or seeing the print that took over night to dry and view if for the first time in optimal light to see the subtle shadow details or creamy highlights. It took not only my hard earned artistic sensibilities, but years of achieving a level of skill - No purchasing a set of actions or filters or a box of packaged goods could suddenly create what I toiled after.
My peers have moved on, have embraced the digital realm and are making good livings. Like early in my digital career, learning and keeping up with the new and ever changing technologies was easy. Now I notice things don't come as easy and simple. I often feel like the old man who can't keep up, just comprehending the things that are even basic is difficult.
I'm finding it harder and harder to find the truth, my center. Photography, my salvation, my passion - I'm finding it hasn't been consoling for me. I am proud of the fact that I have been creating, shooting more in the last few years than I have ever before... I've created some photos that I am very proud of. But with this digital process, I know as well that some of my finest work aren't photographs... They are pixels on a screen. The are in essence, nothing. I've been more keen to photography that is nothing... I still manage to get feedback on them, but if all we have of the images is nothing, is there a point?
I'm not a child of pixels and bytes, zeroes and ones... Maybe that is why I am feeling so displaced...
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