Busch 4x5 Pressman Model D

Music | You Leave Me Breathless by John Coltrane

I forgot I still had this camera. Upon organizing and re-shuffling things around, I came upon a dusty black bag. I vaguely remembered what was inside, but confirmed it was my very first 4x5 camera. I remember buying it in a neighborhood camera store in Bucktown in the mid to late 80's. The shop had that distinct smell of all things old. Even back then, it felt the shop had been there for 60+ years. Things were all over the place, without any distinct organization to it. I was specifically looking for a 4x5, but honestly had no idea what to look for. The Busch was the first to grab my attention and the one I eventually walked out with for a mere $50 with lens!




The camera always had those awful looking bellows, but did not leak any light. I'm not sure about that now, but will test them soon. The lens appears to be in good shape, but does not open for viewing. I'm sure a CLA will get it back to new condition. For aesthetic purposes, I bought another Busch and that ended up the camera I used until the Chamonix. I recently traded a light box with ring for that camera. I am extremely pleased to have found the original still in my possession.

I'd love to get the bellows replaced along with having the lens gone thru as well. A good cleaning is necessary to be sure. I'm guessing I have had that camera for 27 years! Would be very nice to keep shooting with it!

Choice

Music | Acute Motelitis by Roswell Rude and Archie Shepp

As another year ends, there is a sense of melancholy that buries itself just below the surface of being. Maybe it is because we are all judging our past... another year has gone by and we want to quantify the changes that we hoped to have accomplished, but often do not. I'm not much to slant to the positive side and know I am more pessimistic in nature.

I often feel sad also in the way our lives are being steered. I remember being younger and yearned to discover things in nature that were profound. I wanted to learn about and feel. Internet, cell phones, and generally, technology and its constant push to feed us more and more useless information is steering us to be idiots. We click on stupid memes and more useless facts about if we were a car, what car would we be, or what celebrity got the worst face or body alterations... We are viewing more photos than ever in the history of photography, most of which is quite horrible, but yet we click on the like button just to solidify someone else's horrible vision. Technology, which has made more accessible to do bad, what we once had to hire a true artist or technician to do has made things in general, to take a few steps back as opposed to moving forward.

More and more information - visual, auditory, uninteresting facts... It comes at us getting shoved down our throats and we have become accustomed to try and keep up, rather than stop. Just yesterday, I was flipping thru the hundreds of channels on the TV and I stopped at a movie that I have seen at least 5 times. Yes, I knew it was somewhat entertaining, but I found myself looking for something else when a commercial popped up. I landed on an Australian independent movie that I knew was going to move slow, tell a story and knew deep in my heart was going to be so much more fulfilling. Yet, I had a big conflict to switch back to something I was familiar with and knew every twist and turn. I had to tell myself to hold on and let the secondary movie to grasp me and fortunately it did. I missed some of the beginning but fell into a much more interesting experience and one that made me enlightened on things that interested me and other things that I could relate to...

So it seems I have defined a few that bothers me and affects me in negative ways. The struggle now is to act upon the issue and not be sucked into the vacuum of the useless...

More Aiméelisa

Music | Polaroid Girl by Massive Attack

Just because...







Digital tintypes shot with iPad.

15 cm f:3 Petzval

Music | Sour Times by Portishead

Over the weekend, besides hanging those fantastic large format prints with Susan de Witt, that afternoon I got to work with one of my favorite models, Aiméelisa. Specifically, I wanted to test the gifted Petzval that I received a few weeks earlier.


2014-12-07 Aiméelisa
As you might imagine, I am ecstatic about having this lens! I love the characteristics of this little giant! Without much foreshortening, the shallow depth - the butter like and immediate fall off, contrast... all lovingly distinct. One of the things I wasn't too sure about was the somewhat short focal length that I usually do not like to shoot with. I much rather prefer a longer lens, not only giving me some distance from my subject, but elongating and not distorting - objects appear closer than they are, quality. That is the beauty of this lens. I'm shooting maybe 3 feet away from Aiméelisa, but there is no wide angle effect happening here. Given that this image was shot with a paper negative, I'm more than sure I will be happy with this Petzval's sharpness. The eyes are deadly!

I'm looking forward to working more with this one. I think I can work more intimately with my subjects, but still keep that shallow depth I crave. I love that speed kills!

Wheat Paste Winter Project

Music | I Still Feel It by Martina Topley-Bird

This project has been in my head for over a year... Having a hard time getting it off the ground, mostly because of laziness, I enlisted Susan de Witt to collaborate with. Our initial goal was to find a place to have the display, then get prints made, then hang. Our big issue was venue, but Susan came up with a place and the project rocketed to completion! Once we got our prints made, our outdoor gallery in St. Johns was hung in less than a week after that. Collaboration is always a good thing!


Thru the fence...
St. Johns Coffee Roasters offered us wall space at the back of their café. Françoise Weeks and I will also be having an exhibition there in February. Mount Burns, owner of the café has only been too generous for these two projects!


Me, Amanda and Shoe...
My first foray into wheat pasting was pretty simple with visits to a few websites. Huge props goes to Mark Sink and his Big Picture Project he put together in Denver. A nice guide to getting started put me in a direction I felt confident about to get going...


Susan de Witt and I...
With good preparation, Susan and I rocked thru the process without incident. I have to say, working with wheat paste was like being a kid again. Because it was all new to the both of us, we had to have a sense of humore and just go with the flow...


The Collection and I...
The end result felt victorious and just great. I'm thinking public art like this is wonderful. Not having to deal with the bourgeoisie gallery scene where you spend a ton of money to have a show, make no money in return, but for a few pats on the back and ego lifting words makes no sense to me. This project was made by pennies on the dollar in comparison. I feel confident we'll have a bigger audience and for those who just happen just upon it, will have more appreciation for the unexpected art work.

fuck the traditional system...

Petzval

Music | In a Sentimental Mood (1964) by John Coltrane

I have the best of friends... Just at the beginning of my foray into large format photography, I met a guy named Chris during a gathering of large format shooters. They would meet once a month, show prints, talk photography... I was the odd man out as I didn't shoot much large format, but really wanted to. I'm not sure if he knew it or not at the time, but Chris was on his way out. He had intimated in so many words that he just wasn't getting what he wanted out of the various analogue processes he had immersed himself in. During one of our gatherings, I decided to bring prints I had made digitally just to show my work. I printed them ~11x14. I remember Chris was especially interested as they were digitally produced, and I'd like to think, very high quality. He took an interest with the way I produced them, equipment including cameras, lenses, printer and even paper.

Fast forward a few months, Chris got me going with film processing equipment and an unopened box of 4x5 film. I think he recognized poor starving artist and he empathized! It meant quite a lot as I was able to shoot and learn more about the little 4x5 camera I had at the time as well as learn technique in processing the larger film.

Years have gone by, at least 7. Chris has moved on living the dream of Paris and photography. He is a master of the digital photography realm and I can tell he has found his outlet, his joy, to be able to let out his expressions of his art.

About a month ago, I got a message from Chris about a lense he came across in Paris. Not knowing a lot about it, but the price being right he just bought it. Turns out it is a 15 cm f:3 Petzval lense  that he was thinking about adapting to one of his digital cameras.

Well, the project stalled and the message Chris sent was to ask whether or not I wanted the lense. A Petzval that I knew at least would fit on my camera was all I needed to know to say yes! I received it a few days ago, quickly made a fitting lense board for it and mounted it on the Chamonix 4x5. I am hopefully going to be able to test it soon, but the view I'm getting out of the ground glass is bright with a wonderful depth fall off. Maybe a new signature look... I am quite excited!!!


Chamonix 4x5 with no name Petzval 15 cm f:3 lense

Upcoming Projects!

Music | On the Nile by Jackie McLean

November brought 2 big projects to light that I am pretty excited about. Both will be publicly viewed; One indoor and one outdoor and both are collaborations with people I really respect and admire. I will elaborate more as dates are finalized.

In the meantime...

Eating and Instant Film...

Music | You Wish by Nightmares on Wax

I bought myself a box of Fuji FP 100 Colour Instant Film the other day because the black and white Fuji 3000B has been discontinued. Though you can still buy it, it is difficult for me because I have been used to paying under $10 a box. The local photo shop is now selling it for $25... The colour version still can be had for about $12.50 a box, 10 exposures.

I remember in the mid 80's when Fuji came out with this film giving Kodak 669 a run for its money. The Fuji was a better product in that if gave the same typical Fuji saturated colours, rendering beautiful peel apart prints. It has probably been 25 years since I last bought this film. I never made the switch as I was used to the Polaroid product and it was also significantly cheaper.

Now as the tick tock  comes near the end, I'm getting my instant print gratification as I can. I thought about this for a bit as I could obviously shoot digital without having to spend dime and shoot til the sun goes down... I'm roughly spending a $1.25 per exposure with the colour Fuji. At this point, the black and white is costing me $2.50 per pull. I'm down to my last 4 boxes... I spend $80 on a camera that I knew would be a door stop in the next few years along with another $50 on a lens with hours of modifying time to put the 2 together... I am but a poor starving artist, and yet I go out and buy instant film, film, chemicals and spend hours to get a final image.

The satisfaction level, even with instant film exceeds what I shoot digitally. I'm not speaking about analogue vs digital debate, but I just know my soul gets fed a much more rich and satisfying meal...

Freedom Fighters, take 3

Music | Belonging (Lopsides Lullaby)by Joshua Redmond

I take huge pride in working with Roosevelt High School's Writing Program where incoming freshman work together and interview Portland Freedom Fighters, socially conscious individuals who make the world a better place to live. This is the 3rd year in a row where I was given the free reign to shoot portraits of these heroic figures who have given to the community. The students gather information from the Freedom Fighters and put together a book as well as a museum quality presentation documenting their stories, which travels around the Portland area as an exhibition.

Here are a few of the 16 portraits...







special thanks to Epson whose contribution allows for prints to be made

The Search for Meaning...

Music | Basique by Little People

Recently, I was setting up a shoot to photograph a few models wearing Françoise Weeks' wares. I had found a great out of the way location, set up my gear and wait for my subjects to come to be photographed. While waiting, I decided it would be smart to do a test shot to make sure my lighting was going to work. I used Françoise to test upon and shot 1 exposure. My judgement at that time was more about what I had planned to shoot, not what I had just shot. As a test, what I saw on the lcd screen was fine - nice balance, good contrast, separation from the background... so I commenced to wait for the main event. Complications with planning for the event turned out to be not so good and I was told I was not going to have the opportunity to shoot the models...

A bit dejected, I quickly packed up my gear and left. We fortunately shot most of Françoise's work as still lifes so it was not a loss. We ended up getting fantastic photos. When I got back to the office, I thought about the shot I took of Françoise. As I downloaded the files onto the computer, I pulled the file of her immediately to get a closer look. My attention suddenly shifted to what was in front of me. Quite excited, I worked the colour image to black and white, made minor adjustments and came out with a wonderful portrait of Françoise; one that I thought held profound truth within it. Most people as I imagine see her full of life, brilliance and always with a smile. Those qualities alone captured in a portrait often would be enough. However, in my eyes, there was that, but so much more held within the rectangle box captured by the image.


Françoise Weeks | 2014

Here she is, not in context to her usual persona of all things soft and with vibrant colours. The disassociation of how most people who know her or even just seeing her work makes this image all the more powerful to me. I love tension... contrast... the unexpected...  Here we see beyond the floral poet. Here, with her hands gesturing as a genius conjuring another amazing idea and the intensity in the eyes shows a side of Françoise people don't go far enough to see. This image takes you a step further.

floating...

Music | Stay by Rufus and Chaka Khan

As I had mentioned on my previous post, it has been a rather introspective evening. To facilitate that feeling even more so, I pulled out a bottle of Macallan and have been sipping a few glasses, which I thought it to be just the right thing to do. I'm glad I did... I don't often sustain this elusive feeling, which I enjoy being in, for as long as I have this evening.

I had rather profound thoughts on the idea of why photographs are so very important for memories...  I made made 2 prints that I would have love to have crafted by hand, but lo the digital printer would have to suffice... I contemplated  an image I created recently, of which I think is one of my great images, people will comment that they still would rather see the subject matter smile for the camera...

In all, as I start to retreat from my thoughtful introspections, while listening to my music from my youth, contemplating on having a smoke, I'm feeling peaceful, a little high and generally, good...

A Gift...

Music | The Fall by Gretchen Lieberum

It is an interesting evening for me tonite. The days events I don't think has led me into these thoughtful hours I have been experiencing. I think it started when I saw the package at the door just before dinner. I was expecting this box and knew of its contents, but it was when I opened it that I started feeling introspective. A gentleman on the other side of the country for whatever reason has stopped shooting analogue photography. I know from what he has sent, from the images I have seen that he has photographed and brief back and forth correspondence that he is skilled at what he does. A true fellow artist. We've never met in person... We somehow connected via a model we have both photographed and being a part of a community website that reaches internationally. Out of the blue, he wrote to me and we have been going back and forth ever since. We speak the same language, have similar interest in subject matter. Because of this, he has been sending me boxes with film in it. I think in most situations, I gladly would take the boxes and move forward. However in this case, I'm feeling I have to create special images, or at least make shooting a learning process that will put me in a more profound place.


Thank you Janusz

Jump Start

Music | Damaged by Plumb

I feel the need to go back. In time, technique and general mindset. As the namesake of this blog, Tabula Rasa, I need to clear the slate, start over. It has been nearly 5 months since the opening of my solo exhibition in June and I haven't felt on track. I've been trying to stay busy and shoot, which is good, but I'm moving in directionless motion.

I look back to a time where I felt like this before and made a 2 day assignment of using a café to shoot portraits. One camera, a normal lens, black background and a reflector. I think I shot 25 portraits. Looking back, that was a courageous thing for me to do. I remember feeling a lot more distressed than I do now, so it only makes the follow thru that much more meaningful.

I'm not sure what it is that is bothering me about my work, being an artist, living my days. The other day, in my meandering style of shooting, I went out to Sauvie Island. This was not necessarily out of my comfort zone, but not something I do often. It felt new, and good. The fact that I contemplated the experience to be a good thing was a bit revelatory. A few days earlier, I was besides the St. Johns Bridge as the wind blew and the rain started. I just had the phone camera with me, but again, I thought about my immediate experience and how right it felt.

I'm not sure how far off the path I will go, photographing the things I do, the way I do it. But it is certain that in my brain, I know of a few important paths I need to go with...


Kate at Sauvie Island


Rain... St. John's Bridge

messages...

Music | Maddening Shroud by Frou Frou

On occasion, I write either emails, messages or posts to a forum that sums up a lot of what is going on in my head. I thought this one was worth archiving for reference...

email going back and forth with Janusz...

...I don't think that analogue is better, but the mind set going into a film shoot is totally different than doing it digitally. I know I am much more serious, sensitive and very mindful as to what is going on in the view finder and around me much more than when I shoot digital. I totally understand about chems going bad and the issues that have to be dealt with. It is just a matter of choice...

I was speaking with a friend about nostalgia. Recently, I have been getting creature comforts in my life that make me feel good. Of course many of them are from my past and the memories are what I hold on to. Things that I loved back then are have become symbols of a time that is no more. Prints losing way to screen is one... I started to wear an analogue watch again. I bought an old used Domke canvas bag to hold my camera gear. I recently bought the most expensive pen I even spent on such a thing so I can write more in my paper journal... I also traded an Audi for an old Volvo 240. I can work on the Volvo and fix things, where the Audi was just too intimidating to me. Everything is controlled by a computer...

I am sure a lot of my way of thinking keeps me shooting analogue. As I get older, I am losing the sense of now. So I go back to where I am comfortable, which is like 25 years ago... :-)

Tension of the Truth

Music | Rround Midnight by Bill Evans

I sometimes feel time flies by and I miss so much. This shoot was the first time ever I shot large format colour neg. I've been around the block several times over shooting film, especially back in the day... I don't know why, but the intimidation factor for this medium affected me more than I would have thought. Black and white has always been about interpretation, but colour... Colour puts it all out there on the table.

My thoughts after scanning 3 of the 4 sheets I shot over the weekend is that I mostly feel inept. Looking at the colour neg, I had no idea how to read it - not even exposure... Putting the neg on the scanning bed and going thru the software, I was at a lost. It also didn't help that the 1st 2 negatives I tried scanning, I didn't like after getting a totally exaggerated off colour.


The 3rd piece of film was the charm. First, I went for skin tones and background colour, for at least those 2 I had in my mind a somewhat close point of a reference. As I started working the scan, I had a sudden jump to the past why I thought back then, digital is the way to go! I remember back in the late 90's struggling with my film in the scanner, and mostly the dust issues! But this experience, even though scanning is a digital form, scanning this piece of film felt good. I worked for this shot. I harbored lots of doubt and mixed emotions for this image. This to me is what separates digital and analogue. It isn't about quality, round edges and blah blah blah for those who love to argue which is superior... It is the process going in and the actual moments of creating the image that gives me emotional vivacity.

So the thing about shooting colour film that was somewhat intimidating to me is that I knew it held truth. Many things have been revealed to me after going thru this process. Some negative (notice the pun) and some positive. I will deal with both the next time I do this again, along with every other frame I take. The learning process is what matters most...

Senaka, revisited...

Music | Senaka by Asa Chang and JunRay

I initially saw this video back in 2005 and the original link is dead. I managed to find it again and just wanted to share. It to me is just a Happy video to watch...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEd4QGVn1hY

I've learned the dancer is Masako Yasumoto...

Queen of the Forest...

Music | Dark Day by Fred Anderson







More Collaboration with Françoise Weeks

Thoughts on the Inside... A Letter to Ziyi

Music | You Again by Kate Havnevic

There are different views regarding creativity. Some have your ideas that lessons often stifle the ability to think openly because suddenly, you are restricted by rules. I know for myself, I have fond memories when I was in college taking photography courses. It was my initial formal lessons in photography. In that class, I was presented with rules and had to follow guidelines. I know it is different for me as I was an adult, where as your son is a child. However, I think in order to gain a well rounded basis for a musician, painter, photographer... you have to learn the rules in order to break them.

As in the case of Keenan, I like his earlier work as well. I think it was more open and free. Now he is working with purpose and direction, which I also think is a good thing. I think he is going thru a transition and will come out on the other side with more of his work representing himself, as opposed to the rules and structure of the genre of the work he thinks he is after.

As for myself, I know that we constantly struggle and search for meaning. We are in a constant battle to find what it is we want to express. I am either getting deeper into my freedom to express, or falling out of the path I was on, which I think has been very enlightening. Coming off that last exhibition I had in June, I had to stop. I had nothing to work off of and the time of nothingness was good for me. I am now entering either being lost, or going deeper on the path I have been on for the last 3 years.

I guess in a few months, I will know where I am headed...

Elizabeth Rohloff

Music | Kiss of Life by Sade

Recently shot the Autumn line for Elizabeth Rohloff Designs. I really enjoy the challenges of shooting in a more commercial setting. The rules are all different as are the structures for working with a client who has product to sell. Working with Elizabeth is pretty easy though because she knows what she wants and is organized with her product.

We actually worked together a few times just after I first moved to Portland, almost 15 years ago. She was one of my first clients where I shot all digital images. At a time where film was still prevalent, I remember using a Nikon 990!

With all that has changed with technology, some things stay the same. A plan, organization and the ability to rely on knowledge is always nice to fall back on. Our shoot went smoothly and we all had fun doing so...


A composite of some of the images for ElizaBeth Rohloff Designs

Serendipidy

Music | Where is My Mind by The Pixies

It is the grain, the uneven spread of the chemicals creating imperfect processing to the paper, the flaws... Nothing captures the eye nicer than flaws, when they work harmoniously to create beautiful imperfection...

This image is taken with the great Fuji 3000B Instant Film. Creating both positive and negative, I tend to produce images with the negative as the soul of the image lies within it.


TheAvalanches | Hat by Elizabeth Rohloff