2016

Music | Hollywood by Rufus and Chaka Khan

2016 has brought on so many changes, firsts, surprises, reflection... and some heartache too.

This is the year that probably added years to my health and life with the diagnoses of having diabetes. With help from great friends and this community, I've managed to make some changes in my daily habits to try and control this altering disease, with positive results. Thank you.

With all the things happening this year, different and new, my general view of things has shifted. I found out his year that the people on television are no longer in my age bracket. It was pointed out to me that they are at least a generation apart! WTF! Middle age, a decade away from for some folks, an elder. With that, and with some forced grace, I am my Father, my Mother and from when I was younger, all of the people who were older than me. With the responsibility of being a good person and role model, I am moving straight ahead to enjoy what life has to offer with more lust and vigor.

2016 is the year that I met my sweetheart, Vicky Chamberlain, who has showed me miracles can still happen, when the idea of having a commited relationship has long disappeared from hope. I love you and thank you.

Another year gone by... I wish for all of you, enlightenment and a life prospering future.

Peace...

Facebook

Music | Dusk You and Me by Groove Armada

I've been dumped by Facebook again. 3 days. I think it is fucked up how they allow you to read and still get all the bullshit advertising, but cannot post. I opted to deactivate my account during my sentence, which has again been a good thing. Happened a few times before and I always feel more participitory with my daily life. A good thing...

My crime was again, a breast. 2 breasts this time as I remember the last time it was only one. I still get the same sentence though. The thing about this time was I posted a link to this blog. My last entry. It used to be that FB allowed you to choose which image from that blog would accompany the link. I did not get that option this time, so I just went with the flow.

Fuck you to Facebook and the person who reported it.

Wet Plate Collodion - 2 Plates

Music | Hal's Blues by World Saxophone Quartet


Adriana 4x5 Tintype


Ivy 4x5 Tintype

Sometimes Passion Wins Out...

Music | Days to Come by Bonobo

It was so logical to sell the 1983 Volvo Wagon with over 300,000 miles. Manual windows, no AC, a seriously wore out drivers seat, and refinements that were 30 years old... The Subaru... everything works, auto everything, a moon roof to die for, AC, decent gas mileage... However, the Volvo is just more me. It makes me work, it makes know that I am driving a unique vehicle unlike any other car I have driven. It has personality, soul. So I switched vehicles on Craigslist after a week and the Subi sold the next day. To show you how the Volvo has personality, I found it needs a new clutch. No doubt a statement for putting it up for sale in the first place.

The Moment...

Music | As the Rush Comes by Motorcycle

As I finish processing some sheet film, they are in the dryer right now, I am reminded of the days when I was learning how to develop my own film in college. The excitement that built up when pulling the reels out of the tank after the fix to see if there was an image was always there. This was the moment that brought me back to the very first time... I still get that excitement!

Before that, the anticipation came from dropping off your film to the camera or drug store. Back then, 1 week to 10 days turn around time was the norm. And black and white always took longer because maybe they hand processed those. I can remember still at the register paying for the photos I had all ready started to go thru them. 2 piles... winners and really bad ones.

I am thinking that some moments you have to pay for, whether that be monetary or with time and effort. I get not nearly the satisfaction of opening files on the computer, manipulate and save... Where is the joy? Immediacy was supposed to be a good thing, but I am just not so sure...

Being Put in My Place...

Music | Leave Me Alone by Natalie Imbruglia

In times where we expect most things to come immediately, there are things that take time, make you work and force you to have patience. It is also these things that give us the most satisfaction. My pursuit with Platinum Palladium has certainly taken time even to get to the point where I am. I have no judgement as to the speed at which I have gotten to where I am now, because I feel the learning process to be invaluable.

Yesterday, I spent a solid 8 hours learning about curves when making digital negatives. I can say I only have a remedial understanding, but know so much more than I did the other day. Manipulating the curve will be another whole new ballgame. The increments are small, but I hope to keep building the knowledge base.

Sanity, Consciousnes, Unconsciousness...

Music | Play by Funk

I know that one of the huge effects for me to be and stay creative is the health of my sanity. It may work as distraction to the realities of my life, but at this point, I roll with it. I feel positive, I have short term goals that I need to accomplish, which often feeds my endorphins to keep positive. I have in a rudimentary way, figured out how to quickly move out of creative blocks or times of getting depressed. I know that I have been on this wave for several years. I hope to continue til I move on...

Phanthia and I are back on track with working with each other again. We go on runs for several months, then more than several months of not working with each other. I've found in many matters of life, things like this just fall into place and it turns out to be a very good work flow. This time with Phanthia, it was 11 months ago since we shot last...

Without consciously thinking about details, it has occurred to me that if I let things go with the flow for the most part, things fall into place and for quite sometime, mostly in a very positive manner. I'd like to think that I've allowed my unconscious self be my guide. In any case, whether if it is my mind that is slowly decaying, which I really do think is happening, I've lately often let intuition take its course.

Yesterday, Phanthia and I went to Sauvie Island. I had scouted with Susan de Witt about 3 weeks ago and found a great trail to do some images. Of course I hadn't thought of the sheer weight of carrying about the Burke and James, besides the Majestic Tripod. Terrain is such that I wouldn't be able to use the wheeled carrier either. Quickly deciding that I wouldn't even try, I found another location, walking distance from truck to the spot where the camera would be and just easy access all the way around.


Phanthia wearing wardrobe by Elizabeth Rohloff. Sauvie Island
I find evidence in my images, my thought process after the image was taken, was often based on good decisions. The thing is, I don't make those decisions consciously. I remember the only time I made a decision about this image that I at least remember, is that I wanted to raise the camera to where the line of trees in the background didn't intersect with the top of Phanthia's head. Everything else seemed to fall into place...

No reason to try and find an answer to the way things have been going. As I said before, I'm on a great run and hope to continue...

Sanity, Consciousnes, Unconsciousness...

Music | Play by Funk

I know that one of the huge affects for me to be and stay creative is the health of my sanity. It may work as distraction to the realities of my life, but at this point, I roll with it. I feel positive, I have short term goals that I need to accomplish, which often feeds my endorphins to keep positive. I have in a rudimentary way, figured out how to quickly move out of creative blocks or times of getting depressed. I know that I have been on this wave for several years. I hope to continue til I move on...

Phanthia and I are back on track with working with each other again. We go on runs for several months, then more than several months of not working with each other. I've found in many matters of life, things like this just fall into place and it turns out to be a very good work flow. This time with Phanthia, it was 11 months ago since we shot last...

Without consciously thinking about details, it has occurred to me that if I let things go with the flow for the most part, things fall into place and for quite sometime, mostly in a very positive manner. I'd like to think that I've allowed my unconscious self be my guide. In any case, whether if it is my mind that is slowly decaying, which I really do think is happening, I've lately often let intuition take its course.

Yesterday, Phanthia and I went to Sauvie Island. I had scouted with Susan de Witt about 3 weeks ago and found a great trail to do some images. Of course I hadn't thought of the sheer weight of carrying about the Burke and James, besides the Majestic Tripod. Terrain is such that I wouldn't be able to use the wheeled carrier either. Quickly deciding that I wouldn't even try, I found another location, walking distance from truck to the spot where the camera would be and just easy access all the way around.


Phanthia wearing wardrobe by Elizabeth Rohloff. Sauvie Island
I find evidence in my images, my thought process after the image was taken, was often based on good decisions. The thing is, I don't make those decisions consciously. I remember the only time I made a decision about this image that I at least remember, is that I wanted to raise the camera to where the line of trees in the background didn't intersect with the top of Phanthia's head. Everything else seemed to fall into place...

Your Daily Photograph

Music | A Love Supreme by John Coltrane

I cannot tell you how honored I am to be a part of the Duncan Miller Gallery's, Your Daily Photograph. Once each morning, you get an email to receive the opportunity to view and purchase photographs from amazing photographers. I was selected by guest curator, Luther Gerlach. He works in various alternative methods of photography along with shooting with Ultra Large Format cameras. If you are not all ready familiar with the links above, I highly recommend you checking them out.


Your Daily Photograph, edition July 1, 2016
Irish W/ Floral Headpiece | 4x5 Platinum Palladium Print

Platinum Palladium Papers

Music | No Ordinary Love by Sade

I was generously offered some paper by Hahnemühle to test with Platinum Palladium. I started out using Bergger Cot 320, then Arches Platine, which I found very similar with my very basic tests. Both render nice tonalities, but I found trying to decipher a wet print to dry to be difficult. Experience over time I am sure would solve that. I've made beautiful prints with both papers, but I am still looking for a base to get to consistency.

The Hahnemühle Platinum coats just fine and used the same amount of solution as the above. However, I think the spread goes on easier. I had no problem getting an even coat, at the edges as well. Exposure wise, I started with 8 minutes as with the Cot 320 and Platine. The nice difference with the Platinum is that I get more latitude at both ends. Slightly darker blacks and lighter highlights, still holding details. Dry down is a bit more accurate and to see less flattening in contrast is very nice.

This was my first print with the Platinum and at this point, I know well enough that the variables can change things in an instant. However, with price point being relatively the same as Cot 320, the Platinum would be an excellent choice in my relative fledgling opinion.


8x10 Platinum Palladium Print

Processing an 8x10 Platinum Palladium Print

Music | Everloving by Moby

Chemical processing always amazes me...

https://vimeo.com/171020540

Progression

Music | Into the Wind by Trafik

The moment happened earlier today. Having shot some 8x10 film last Tuesday, processed film yesterday, today was my chance to test more Platinum Palladium for printing. Surprisingly, I came very close for exposure for the small test print off the bat. I was elated to see the tonality throughout the print. Quite excited, I went and tried my first full frame 8x10 Platinum Palladium print. It is still wet, but as the image jumped off the page after pouring the developer, I cannot express how elated I am...


Adriana wearing a Françoise Weeks original.

Maintenance...

Music | The Phonograph by Her Space Holiday

Our Big Pictures Portland project has only been up for a little less than 2 months. All ready, some of the posters where coming down in a bad way. I had anticipated this as we were putting them up as there was no doubt I had mixed the paste incorrectly. I saw some pealing at the upper edges only after 3 weeks. As the weeks went by, more pealing and I could see them coming down quickly.

Sunday was a nice overcast cool day to put in a few hours to mend the images. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to save 2, but the others were basic. Armed with fresh and correctly mixed paste, a couple buckets of water, roller, various brushes and ladder, the late morning early afternoon session was cathartic. Seeing the images again as intended put new spirit in both themselves and myself. I probably would have let them finish the their disintegration, but I knew they didn't get a fair shake. The bad paste we originally used cut short their life span, so I wanted to see what I could do. It was an excellent learning experience for future hangings...

More Hands On...

Music | Clair De Lune by Michael Dulin

A print doesn't seem complete when it isn't mounted and matted. I've always preferred the follow through of execution when displaying or even just showing prints. The least thing we can do when showing prints is to have a good amount of space around the image to remove as much distraction as possible.

Now that I am printing more, the vocabulary of mats, beveled edges, razors are back in the fold. I just went to the art store to buy some linen tape. I m starting to prepare to mount and mat some of the images I've recently printed. All of the things that was since a pain in the ass to do back in the day, I am actually looking forward to doing. Time will actually be used to physically create or change my world, as opposed to working in the virtual world.

Pats on Your Back You don't Really Feel...

Music | Thinking About Tomorrow by Beth Orton

There are relationships in the photography realm I have that are person to person, internet related, and modern versions of pen pals. Of course nothing beats meeting face to face and having real conversations, in a café, over drinks or dinner. I have 2 relationships over the internet where we converse mostly over texts or type written message services. And on occasion, we sometimes talk on the phone. Our communications are often focused and on topic of mostly photography. The internet relationships are via facebook and other interest communities. This, ironically is where most of my time is spent, where more bandwidth is used up and so much interactions occur, nothing really has any meaning.

I cannot deny Facebook is an outlet for a lot of my work. I get those likes and occasional comment, but the lasting power for any meaning is not there. Yet, I go on...

Today, one of my pen pal relationship friends who lives in NYC called. Janusz was aware of my work and it so happened we photographed the same model. He reached out over the Internet, we started a dialogue and mutual respect formed. He has since been a great supporter of mine through words and donations of film, Polaroid and other photographic materials that I use to this day. Maybe 2 to 4 times a year, we actually talk. We both have this understanding that smiley faces and thumbs up don't mean a whole lot and it is better left to say nothing than to emoticon our way to express ourselves.

The interesting thing that stuck with me with what he said today was that it is so much more meaningful to meet face to face and show our latest work, prints, than to watch the screen and see the numerous images fly by. The power of words and expression is unmatched and to try and add an emoticon to express what we feel is almost an insult. He said this because sometimes we do get lost and forget how important face to face is. It certainly doesn't happen as much as it used to... We have been so immediately connected that we no longer see the forest for the trees.

The Process of Passion

Music | Manhatta by Cinematic Orchestra

I haven't been on a more pointed and direct path in a long time. I think it means more to me now as I am aware of where I am and how the fact that I am moving. It has been about 7 years since I started to learn the process of Wet Plate Collodion. Besides the occasional traipsing of shooting film, which at that time seemed more like a novelty, it was the first time I was learning something of substance in photography in decades. I don't mean to discount the digital process, but for me, there is very little substance to walk on as far as the process went. The sublities are measured in numbers, not touch, not intuition, not emotion.

I was talking to a fellow photographer, Ray Bidegain, a Platinum Palladium printer years ago. It was a time I wanted to start shooting large format film as an antithesis to the digital process, which I worked in heavy since 1999. He had started printing Platinum Palladium around 1999 and never made the transition to digital. I remember a conversation I had with him and he told me, everyday, he makes at least one print a day. As an artist, it was important and his job to do so. That thought has always stuck with me that he took his work so seriously. It was a part of his life and as an artist. Since my turn away from digital as a main resource, at a time where I think I started to develope as an artist myself, that concept has held strong in my mind.

I've been wanting to initially have an image of mine printed in the Platinum Palladium process for over 30 years. Ever since I went and saw my first Irving Penn exhibition at the Art Institute in Chicago. I was in college at the time and ate up everything photography. Of course there is no comparison in seeing an actual print, but more often than not, book reproductions had to suffice. Over time, the general feel and look and spirit of a Platinum Palladium print by osmosis embedded my brain. I know that in the back of my mind, everything I did in black and white was affected. The hold was strong and I felt no reason to deny it. I think it is funny that as digital took the stronghold in the industry, it never to this day has created its own. Digital is all about mimicking.

Back in the day, I wanted a motorcycle. So before I got a motorcycle, I bought a helmet. Having that object in front of me kept the idea of one day getting a motorcycle very strong and always in front of me. A few short months later, I had my motorcycle. About a year ago, after having done some research, I spent $40 on a paint brush. It was no ordinary brush, it was dubbed the Magic Brush, The Richeson 9010. This was the object that would keep Platinum Palladium printing in front of my face and remind me to keep striving to get to the point where I would one day print my own. A few short months later, I was able to purchase my set of chemicals and paper and start my journey.

During that time, I had my light source remade/reinforced. Changed out the electrics of 12 tubes, stained the exterior and made something to be proud to work with. I moved my workspace around with a workflow in mind where I could make my prints. I managed to do everything, except to start printing...

Around 6 months ago, I had Susan de Witt go thru the motions for me and show me her work flow. During the process, we made a print of one of my images. As much as I was hooked, I was more afraid the screw up and waste the pricey chemicals and paper. I did nothing to move forward...

3 weeks ago, I went to Susan's place again and we went thru the process. Another print made, but this time, something clicked. The thought that in order to learn, one has to fuck up. Once I accepted that, with blowing my investment of chems and paper, I could move forward. My big test was not at Susan's where I made my own print, but solo, with my light source, in my workspace.

3 weeks have gone by since making that last Platinum Palldium print at Susan's. I went from an initial high to dropping down to ground zero and a little below that. This last week has rendered me with 3 really nice images. I don't have a lock on this process, but I am feeling really good about it. I have gotten to the point where I want to print something new everyday.

The feeling of having one of my own images as a Platinum Palldium print is so amazing to me. And even more amazing is that I can do it myself now...

A Finished Print

Music | Crescent by John Coltrane

I've worked a consistent 3 weeks learning the Platinum Palladium process using digital negatives. It wasn't so much the Pt/Pd process that I was having difficulty with, but the making of a digital neg. Between setting up my print preferences and having ink clogging issues, I was set back a good week. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. These set backs were initially very frustrating, but after realizing it is part of the process that I finally just went with the flow. I made 3 good negatives and made 3 very nice prints.

Earlier, I cut a mat, placed one of the prints behind it... With full realization, as the mat and print came together, the small adjustments I made to center the print, this moment was the ultimate reason I wanted to learn the process. I knew that this moment was special.

Break Through!

Music | Earthquake Weather by Beck

I may have turned a corner today. Even with more printer issues for the digital negatives, I am for the second time getting consistent results with the digital negatives and a consistent time for exposures over 3 different images. Now I know it is a matter of repetition for me to have this information and process ingrained in my head. Either that or I need to take really good notes!


First outdoor nude in the woods. Thanks Anna S."

Trouble Shooting...

Music | I Remember You by Johnny Griffin

So since I tried to make final adjustments in my printing preferences for the digital negs, I can't print a decent Pt/Pd print. It is no doubt that I did a decent print before I made all the changes that was written in the manual. So... I will try and go back to where I was and start over. Good news is that my actual film negatives print out very nicely. The boost in creating a great looking test print is huge for my confidence. I feel like I am moving in a positive direction.

The issue I am having with the digital negs is that my prints came out too thin, then after a second adjustment, lacking contrast. I figured my chemical profile is fine since I can make a great film neg print, so I will go after the printing of the digital neg...

Corded Drills!

Music | Province by TV on the Radio

I can only go with the flow. I was hoping to get home and start printing, but I accidentally left my light source on over night. The heat generated so much in the box and melted the glue holding my tubes in place. Just as I was about to stick the contact frame into the box, I see 4 tubes have fallen. I figured out a simple and effective fix, but my cordless drill has lost its power... Now I wait for the battery to recharge. Meanwhile, I have nothing to do but write about it...