March 30, 2019

Back to the Past...

Music | Something About John Coltrane by Alice Coltrane

I have no qualms about nostalgia. As with most people who are older, I am also bent to things of the past. I am now the old guy often reminiscing about the yesterdays. How music was so much better, how cars had more character, how most folks had a real sense of style... I love my beater 1983 Volvo and still have my 1979 BMW motorcycle. The things I am passionate about are all about soul, character and style.

I just found that I will soon have a love that I have not had a relationship with in about the past 17 years. I will be reunited with Hasselblad. My first long time affair with Hasselblad started back in 1987. I was able after many years of yearning, purchase an entire brand new system. She made me work for her and I in turn appreciated the hell out her. She treated me well, never to fail me in the decade or so of being my main system.

I am one of the few people that think the digital age has ruined a lot of things. Like most, I was lured by what digital had to offer. Promises of everything good, faster, better and more economical. My Hasselblad sat in its case not being used for years. Around 2002, I sold everything, regretting it the moment she left my possession.

The nice thing about my second go around with Hasselblad is that this one comes from a good friend who has had her for over 2 decades. She is a bit beat up, battle scarred, but still carries character I will be elated to make more art with.

I love going back to the past, reliving vicariously my youth. Material things come and go, but some things are objects of desire. This one will be appreciated for more decades as I get older, moving and dancing as I did when I was younger.

December 03, 2018

Tumblr and the All Mighty Evil...

Music | Exchange by Massive Attack

I’m getting more perturbed about the news that Tumblr will now be censoring all content to their website. It seems that the internet more and more is crumbling from the idea of what it once was. Sharing ideas, the ability to express yourself and most importantly, learn from others. I guess it should be no surprise as the powers that be always get their way and anything that could possibly go against their hypocritical ideals, gets stifled.

Regarding Tumblr, I’ve got images that are important to me back to September, 2012. Lots of the content all ready has, “Your post was flagged as explicit” in red over the image. And on the 17th of this month, 2 weeks from today, our grace period, most of my images will be gone.

In this relatively short period of time, 25 years since I started to dabble on the internet, it has taken over the world. We depend so heavily on it and give up so much of ourselves to it. Our privacy has been handed over, voluntarily. You think at this point the cloud is safe only for you?

I make photos and frankly, I am not too concerned about the safety of my images. If I were, nothing would be on the internet, nothing on facebook, nothing on tumblr, my blogs and websites...

I yearn to remove myself from the internet, but I can’t. It feeds me just enough to connect with you all and allow me the ability to share what I do. I’m realizing however that all these digital files will eventually be held hostage and taken from us. Though the idea once on the internet, always on the internet only goes so far as the powers that be will allow. I’m really getting disillusioned and frustrated.

Yes, the images I have on Tumblr I still have, so long as my hard drives will spin. But I know in my heart of hearts, they too will disappear as nothing lasts forever. But the thought that technology is the reason they will be removed from existing especially irritates the hell out of me. I am part of the giving of power to the very thing I also despise.

Make prints everybody. More than likely, they will last longer than what is on your phone, the cloud or frankly, hard drive.

October 09, 2018

Memories May Fade but the Feeling Never Does

Music | Lush Life by Donna Summer

I buy records often, many are for nostalgic reasons... What I played in the living room on my Dad’s system when I was a kid, what I listened to in my High School years or jamming to in the studio during a photo shoot when I assisted other photographers... I know my memory is fading and with only one recount I have of this album, specifically the song, Are You Going with Me, by Pat Metheny on the album, Offramp, which I used as a sound track for a class assignment for a 2 dimensional design class in college. I have this really odd, very surreal feeling of contentment. As I put the first song on and as it plays thru towards the end, I all ready know what the next song is going to be. I imagine this was a really great time in my life and I listened to this album often...
Music | Freddie Freeloader by Miles Davis

Film is hit or miss, probably because as a safety net, I shoot digital along side. I'm working my way to do a shoot entirely on film, no back up. It is a matter of letting go, free falling. When analogue goes right, the images speak volumes more to me on an emotional level.



Serah

September 17, 2018

My Lament is My Fuel

Music | School Boy Crush by Average White Band

This shit is hard... I guess it has always been that way, but when looking to the past, when all there was was film, there was nothing to compare it to. Maybe it is because I am getting older... Old Dogs not being able to learn new tricks... but there is the constant struggle. Even when you think you have things ironed out, something changes, subtle to more obvious, but those curve balls keep rolling in and one must constantly adjust. But hell, I've been doing this well over 30 years...

Exposures, focus, developing of the film, things that are second nature to me, but I think technology has made me lazy. I remember when the home computer first came on the scene, how it touted that it will make things easier and faster, make us more efficient and enable us to do much more. This was even before the internet. Indeed, the iPhone has its advantages of being able to do all the things that it does and, very well. However, I no longer know my daughters phone number, I rely on GPS to get to places I am not familiar with and wouldn't be able to make it back home without it... I use it to remind me how many steps I have done through out the day instead of just going out and taking a walk. My nose is in front of its screen, or my ipad or my computer instead of having conversations with people...

Off topic, my mind wanders... I wonder why...

So even now, I am still having to make adjustments with my images. One may think it is fine if you can get a decent looking image on screen, but the true measurement is will the film (or file) be capable of making a decent print. My lament is also my fuel. I think I enjoy the struggle.


Adriana


Adriana in Kimonos and Rope

July 01, 2018

Graflex...

Music | Ricky Don't Lose that Number by Steely Dan


Myranda


Raven at the Abandoned Silo


Domatila


Adriana at the Wall

2018 brought on not one, but 2 Graflex cameras. Either, unlike any camera I have used in the past. I have to say it has been a challenge, but I'm feeling it.


1942 Graflex RB Series D


1964 Graflex Speed Graphic with Buhl Projection Lens



June 01, 2018

A Generated Artist’s Statement...

Ted Mishima (º1953, Tokyo, Japan) is an artist who mainly works with photography. With a subtle minimalistic approach, Mishima seduces the viewer into a world of ongoing equilibrium and the interval that articulates the stream of daily events. Moments are depicted that only exist to punctuate the human drama in order to clarify our existence and to find the poetic meaning in everyday life.

His practice provides a useful set of allegorical tools for manoeuvring with a pseudo-minimalist approach in the world of photography: these meticulously planned works resound and resonate with images culled from the fantastical realm of imagination. By emphasizing aesthetics, he creates work through labour-intensive processes which can be seen explicitly as personal exorcism ritual. They are inspired by a nineteenth-century tradition of works, in which an ideal of ‘Fulfilled Absence’ was seen as the pinnacle.

His works are often classified as part of the new romantic movement because of the desire for the local in the unfolding globalized world.. However, this reference is not intentional, as this kind of art is part of the collective memory. By referencing romanticism, grand-guignolesque black humour and symbolism, he creates work in which a fascination with the clarity of content and an uncompromising attitude towards conceptual and minimal art can be found. The work is aloof and systematic and a cool and neutral imagery is used.

His works sometimes radiate a cold and latent violence. At times, disconcerting beauty emerges. The inherent visual seductiveness, along with the conciseness of the exhibitions, further complicates the reception of their manifold layers of meaning.

Ted Mishima currently lives and works in Portland, Oregon.

April 17, 2018

A Bio for an Upcoming Workshop

Music | Red Eye by The Album Leaf

I am in my 34th year with photography being by my side. It has been my emotional obsession to which even in the midst of being at my worst, can take me to a place of solace. I have been a lifelong student of hers and know I will always have lessons waiting for me.

Photography has been a passion since the moment I created my first print in the darkroom. No longer was I just snapping away taking photos for the sake of it, but having the idea what the print would look like became paramount.

2 years in college studying photography, then 2 more studying art, I knew this was the path I was to follow. I furthered my education learning from commercial photographers where I honed my own ideas and skills. I ran my own business shooting commercially for over a decade.

During a turning point in the business, my commercial aspirations lessoned and creating images from my soul became more important. I never called myself an artist as I never thought I was ready. The transition was steady, but always moving towards that direction. In time, I was much more comfortable with the term, Artist and finally became one.

May 10, 2017

Providence

Music | All Things by The Cinematic Orchestra

My life changed dramatically as of a year ago, yesterday. Actually, it may have been a week before yesterday as my eyes had laid upon the sights of a woman who I did not know how to approach during a gathering. It just so happened that I decided to go to this gathering, one I had not attended for close to a year just to get out. No doubt I would be attending again the following week, just so I could at least see this woman again...

Fast forward to a week later, there she was, again. As I often do, I find my out of the way corner, sit and observe, say hello to the people I know, sit quietly otherwise. Similar to the week before, this woman is social, having at least one conversation going on at a time leaving me no open doors to say... something.

Luck seemed to be on my side, as I didn't have to get out of my comfort zone to fumble words together and introduce myself to her. My little "angel" without any prompting, came over to me with this woman and did the introductions for me. We spent most of the rest of the evening together and talked.

Since then, many adventures, firsts, lovely experiences, lots of time, Vicky and I have been side by side. Our relationship became exclusive later in August and there we stand today.

I can unequivocally say that my life has changed in more ways than I could imagine. The word happy has entered many conversations with people I have known and have known me for many years. Life has been good and now has blossomed into a life I did not know could exist. I am a lucky man and in the midst of the moment, I know it.

March 02, 2017

New Era...

Music | A Laugh for Rory | Rahsaan Roland Kirk

I got back from a trip to Japan and the jet lag really affected me. I was easily up til 3 or 4 a.m. I decided to be productive and print in the darkroom. I fondly remember that time as I knew at that moment I was in a special place. I'd start my sessions around 10 or 11 at night and go on til 6 a.m. I lived in a coach house, my own building with no neighbors to bother with noise. I had my music going and printing or proessing film for 3 or 4 days straight. I could easily work through the early morning with no distractions. Every second counted.

What I remember most about that moment was how lost I became in what I was doing. Granted, this was 1990; There was no texting or iphones, no checking in on facebook. Yet, I remember how totally free I felt to get immersed in the work. There is a magical ideal I always had of being an artist and creating while the rest of the world slept. I was there, in my own fantasy.

I am a bit older now, way older. I feel a bit wiser and knowing. Much less energy, but I am in the midst of being in that special place again. Working on chemical prints with Coltrane playing in the background, wiping down my wet hands from a washing print.

I am down in my workshop, not quite in the midst of the early morning hours, but that feeling of getting lost in the work. Times travels way to fast. I'm working on some prints for an upcoming exhibition, still searching and refining a printing process I only vaguely know. I have to reach the level of comfort when showing these images. Only 2 months away, but I am confident to achieve the goal. I'm certain I will look back to right now, and have a nice sense of nostalgia.

February 19, 2017

Progressions and Movement

Music | Threads by David Ware

A day of accomplishment! Yesterday was good having processed more film and finally getting to make a start at printing, but also, I felt a little disappointed in not being able to get an acceptable print.

Today, lots of errands completed, I got another start with some advice from a master printer, Ray Bidegain. He has helped my in the past with technical problems and he came through again. Since Platinum Palladium printing is still new to me. I have not figured out how to read the prints thru the process. Dry down is much more significant than what I am accustomed to. More difficult is to change my thought structure in working with a dynamic range that I am not entirely familiar with either. It appears that it takes me to ponder finesse changes in a print for several days. However, I do know a bad print when I see one...

Todays printing session started off in the right direction and those finesse changes seemed to come much quicker. I managed to make 3 prints of 2 images that could be in the exhibition. I'm feeling quite elated...


Detail 8x10 Platinum Palladium pour of Contessa


8x10 Platinum Palladium pour of Stephanie

The Platinum Palladium pour is so exciting to me. I won't ever get tired suddenly seeing a latent image come up. With my music in the background, an expresso or whiskey nearby, I'm finishing my session on a high note!




February 17, 2017

1st Step

Music | Firesuite by The Doves

It has been way too long since I've been down in the workshop to make some prints. Earlier this week, I processed two batches of 8x10 and my 3rd earlier today. I've had a fresh batch of chemicals so I decided to try a few test prints tonite. I'm really hoping for an encouraging evening with some positive results. My confidence could really use it. But in any case, it has been a very good day and early evening. I'm feeling creative and productive.


8x10 Negatives, Françoise Weeks and Stephanie

February 14, 2017

What Keeps Me Sane

Music | It's Good to Be in Love by Frou Frou

Two shoots in 2 days. 8x10 film and it feels so good! Shot digital for good measure as well. Having intension and purpose and getting things done is what I have craved for months. Best of all, success!


Stephanie wearing Floral Accoutrements by Françoise Weeks


Ella

January 19, 2017

Moving Forward via History

Music : Calling You by Jevetta Steele

Getting back into hifi, I have certain ideas in my head of what I'd like to recreate, along with delving deeper into this returning passion of mine. There is a ton of new technologies that I have not kept up with and being out of the playground for close to 20 years, there is a lot to catch up with.

I'm wanting to both take advantage of the digital aspect and also recreate the tone and mood of listening to a component system I had in the past. I'm one who is still physically connected to loading film in a camera or adjusting carburetors. In that same vein, I enjoy placing the tone arm on a record and even loading a cd in the player and making adjustments to bass and treble.

Through this process, I hope to hone a sharper, more clear and concise ear bringing back the history of my past listening experiences and also moving forward with the technologies.

January 04, 2017

Revived Passions

Music | Better by Regina Spektor

Music has always been a passion from as far back as I can remember. With the advent of smaller, more, smaller, more, the way we listen to music has changed dramatically and thus I think, the quality of the experience lessens. I've got a nice set of computer speakers when I switched and transitioned most of my CD's to mp3. Got the mandatory ipod and earphones and headphones. I got to listen to a reasonable facsimile of my entire library pretty much anywhere I wanted - at home, my car, on a walk or the bike.

I read an article about a a listening bar in London, where the central theme of the place was the music. Turn off your phones and keep your mouth to yourself. I loved the idea of going back to the very basic idea of music. Let it take you to another place, without it being relegated to the background.

I started scouring the Craigslist ads and noticed the prices for gear was a lot less than I initially thought. I still couldn't afford a nice analogue amp or receiver, but found others that was. I ended up finding the receiver and cd player from the same guy and a day later, bought his speakers as well.


Harman Kardon

So exited to have the components system, I immediately set them up and put on, A Love Supreme. I ended up sitting thru the entire CD with only the music playing with my eyes closed. I have found myself doing this often, falling into the spell of which music was intended.

A few friends noticed my renewed passion of HiFi and one offered up an early 1960's Trio (which later became Kewnwood) tube receiver. It needs a little massaging, but in immaculate looking shape. The 38 lbs.+ beast will hopefully be adorned with a nice turntable and some nice vintage Klipsch speakers. That is the idea...


1961 Trio Receiver

December 31, 2016

2016

Music | Hollywood by Rufus and Chaka Khan

2016 has brought on so many changes, firsts, surprises, reflection... and some heartache too.

This is the year that probably added years to my health and life with the diagnoses of having diabetes. With help from great friends and this community, I've managed to make some changes in my daily habits to try and control this altering disease, with positive results. Thank you.

With all the things happening this year, different and new, my general view of things has shifted. I found out his year that the people on television are no longer in my age bracket. It was pointed out to me that they are at least a generation apart! WTF! Middle age, a decade away from for some folks, an elder. With that, and with some forced grace, I am my Father, my Mother and from when I was younger, all of the people who were older than me. With the responsibility of being a good person and role model, I am moving straight ahead to enjoy what life has to offer with more lust and vigor.

2016 is the year that I met my sweetheart, Vicky Chamberlain, who has showed me miracles can still happen, when the idea of having a commited relationship has long disappeared from hope. I love you and thank you.

Another year gone by... I wish for all of you, enlightenment and a life prospering future.

Peace...

September 09, 2016

Facebook

Music | Dusk You and Me by Groove Armada

I've been dumped by Facebook again. 3 days. I think it is fucked up how they allow you to read and still get all the bullshit advertising, but cannot post. I opted to deactivate my account during my sentence, which has again been a good thing. Happened a few times before and I always feel more participitory with my daily life. A good thing...

My crime was again, a breast. 2 breasts this time as I remember the last time it was only one. I still get the same sentence though. The thing about this time was I posted a link to this blog. My last entry. It used to be that FB allowed you to choose which image from that blog would accompany the link. I did not get that option this time, so I just went with the flow.

Fuck you to Facebook and the person who reported it.

September 08, 2016

Wet Plate Collodion - 2 Plates

Music | Hal's Blues by World Saxophone Quartet


Adriana 4x5 Tintype


Ivy 4x5 Tintype


August 19, 2016

Sometimes Passion Wins Out...

Music | Days to Come by Bonobo

It was so logical to sell the 1983 Volvo Wagon with over 300,000 miles. Manual windows, no AC, a seriously wore out drivers seat, and refinements that were 30 years old... The Subaru... everything works, auto everything, a moon roof to die for, AC, decent gas mileage... However, the Volvo is just more me. It makes me work, it makes know that I am driving a unique vehicle unlike any other car I have driven. It has personality, soul. So I switched vehicles on Craigslist after a week and the Subi sold the next day. To show you how the Volvo has personality, I found it needs a new clutch. No doubt a statement for putting it up for sale in the first place.

July 25, 2016

The Moment...

Music | As the Rush Comes by Motorcycle

As I finish processing some sheet film, they are in the dryer right now, I am reminded of the days when I was learning how to develop my own film in college. The excitement that built up when pulling the reels out of the tank after the fix to see if there was an image was always there. This was the moment that brought me back to the very first time... I still get that excitement!

Before that, the anticipation came from dropping off your film to the camera or drug store. Back then, 1 week to 10 days turn around time was the norm. And black and white always took longer because maybe they hand processed those. I can remember still at the register paying for the photos I had all ready started to go thru them. 2 piles... winners and really bad ones.

I am thinking that some moments you have to pay for, whether that be monetary or with time and effort. I get not nearly the satisfaction of opening files on the computer, manipulate and save... Where is the joy? Immediacy was supposed to be a good thing, but I am just not so sure...
 
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