A beginning...

Music | Imhotep by Roy Campbell

Images from my all film shoot became reality today after processing 18 sheets of film. One by one, out of the reels the 4x5 sheets of film came off, into the last solution of chemicals before drying. There is a certain type of joy seeing images, even negs after having to wait for them. The instant gratification is gone, which tends to make me think I'm appreciating what I'm creating with even more gratification...

I'm still finding my way, and not to think I should even have a path at this point (I have to remember that). My mind is still clouded by this event. I imagine I'll be gathering my thoughts throughout the next few days, weeks, into my next shoot... I feel alive coming back... It has been around 10 years since I shot only film, processing my black and white images and printing... Running to and from the lab having my colour images processed... a decade ago...

I've written in a little journal/note pad a list of words that interests me...
-purity
-tradition
-history
-sincerity
-truth
I had in mind also photography and what was important to me - I think the culmination of those words circle my feelings of coming back to film. I'm obviously making the idea of shooting film again a rather monumental event in my life. Maybe, finally I am moving, reaching, yearning to allow photography and my passion for it to take me where I belong...

Anyway, not having a darkroom, I am scanning images and will be printing them with my ink jet printer until I move into yet another phase of photography that I have never before attempted. That will be another post a few months down the road...


Cain has become a muse of mine in the last several months. In her own right, she is also becoming quite a photographer herself...

No Turning Back...

Music | Falling for You by Jem

Earlier today, I had my very first shoot where I left my digital camera behind. It was a premeditated decision as I know that if I am ever to be a great 4x5 film portrait photographer, I had to let the reins go, jump off to the deep end, run with scissors in my hands... Minutes before leaving I thought to just bring the 5D and a 50mm lens, but in the end, I jumped without a parachute.

The dynamic of this shoot would for sure be totally different had I had my digital camera with me. I would know I could always have insurance to have at least one suitable photograph, because I would have shot with the digital until I was satisfied.

To this moment, over 6 hours after I have since finished shooting, I have no idea how the shoot went. I've got my suspicions, but frankly, I won't know until tomorrow after I process the film and start scanning...

A Very Fruitful Day

Music | Lived in Bars by Cat Power

A Business Summit and a Photo Critique in the same day, along with getting my daughter up and off to school, while also trying to fit in some printing for the critique, then picking up my daughter after school...

The great thing about these 2 events was that I considered the attendees of these events as some of the best in the business. During these economic times, everyone is feeling the pressure and downturn in business. Ironically, a bunch of competitors in the business of photography decided not to shun each other, but to embrace and share experiences and try to figure out what good can come out of moving forward together, as opposed to trying to go at things alone. We also had the presence of a few business minded people to give advice on how to sell, close sales and over all just think about where we would like to be 20 years from now and how to get there. I left the summit fortified and felt very much a part of a community that is trying to move forward, together.

My rush back to the city led me to pick up my daughter from school and finish one more print for the critique, which was less than 2 hours away. Having been printing the night before until late into the evening, it felt great producing art, in hard copy form. I hate to use that term, but a photograph has been used so loosely lately. After my 3rd turn at making slight adjustments here and there, my last and final print looked just they way I wanted. I produced 4 images, but was not at all feeling confident. The attendees of this critique are some of the best old school printers I know. I've seen 2 of their works and another I heard was and has been a dark room master for years.

I've heard about photographers getting together, having dinner, drinking wine, then sit over prints just talking, discussing... I've always wanted to have that type of relationship with others to be able to do the same. Ironically, I only knew one of the gents, Ray Bidigain well enough to call a friend. However, the rest of the photographers were quite welcoming and I felt relaxed enough to make my first presentation to them. Much more formal than I had anticipated, there was a easel under a spot light to really show off the photograph, one by one. As we went thru each print, I felt more comfortable as I felt my photography and skill as a printer were accepted among each of the gents there. It was gratifying to know that these highly skilled Platinum Palladium, Tin Type and Silver Gelitan printers were giving praise to my ink jets. It meant a lot.





So hopefully in the near future, I'll have a thriving photography business, while creating works of art, both in digital and traditional mediums. It certainly feels much better going at this as a ground, than solo...

Thoughts coming thru the Chaos

Music | April Grove by Martina Topley Bird

For the past 10 years, my photography has been consumed by digital. In that time, I went thru 6 different camera bodies - Unlike the Hasselblad which I used for over 15 years before I sold it. Now I wish I had it again. I think I went thru 5 computers as well, not to mention the technologies that have died off like various drives(floppy, zip, jazz), monitors and other costly upgrades...

I kept a working darkroom from 1983 to 1999... 16 years! With the various necessities I had to invest in, I also built by hand, darkroom sinks, tables, shelves, drying frames - rigged plumbing... Equipment was much more personal, was a part of me which in essence the final work felt so much more apart of me as well. I've got my high end digital printer, which is now all ready 2 generations old. I use some of the finest papers available. And though I feel I've created amazing photographic prints, I never felt the connection I had when pulling a print out of the developer or fix, or seeing the print that took over night to dry and view if for the first time in optimal light to see the subtle shadow details or creamy highlights. It took not only my hard earned artistic sensibilities, but years of achieving a level of skill - No purchasing a set of actions or filters or a box of packaged goods could suddenly create what I toiled after.

My peers have moved on, have embraced the digital realm and are making good livings. Like early in my digital career, learning and keeping up with the new and ever changing technologies was easy. Now I notice things don't come as easy and simple. I often feel like the old man who can't keep up, just comprehending the things that are even basic is difficult.

I'm finding it harder and harder to find the truth, my center. Photography, my salvation, my passion - I'm finding it hasn't been consoling for me. I am proud of the fact that I have been creating, shooting more in the last few years than I have ever before... I've created some photos that I am very proud of. But with this digital process, I know as well that some of my finest work aren't photographs... They are pixels on a screen. The are in essence, nothing. I've been more keen to photography that is nothing... I still manage to get feedback on them, but if all we have of the images is nothing, is there a point?

I'm not a child of pixels and bytes, zeroes and ones... Maybe that is why I am feeling so displaced...

Mellifluous

Music | The Songs That We Sing by Charlotte Gainsbourg

A word I heard today...

mel⋅lif⋅lu⋅ous

   /məˈlɪfluəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [muh-lif-loo-uhs] Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective

1.	sweetly or smoothly flowing; sweet-sounding: a mellifluous voice; mellifluous tones.

2.	flowing with honey; sweetened with or as if with honey.

Sweet Home Bar and Grill

Music | Dinner Music for a Pack of Hun by Kronos Quartet

Paddy Daddy and I (HambahgaStakee) have struck again and posted another review for Portland Hamburgers. Paddy Daddy noticed on their weekly changing specials board a 1 pound cheeseburger with fries and trimmings for around $9. Sounds like a challenge...





Paddy Daddy managed to clean his plate and I ended up leaving some fries and a quarter of the burger, which I ended up bringing home... I couldn't stand the idea of trashing a quarter pound of food...

Updated : Here is the review.

Following the Crow and Moving Forward

Music | Impressions by John Coltrane

I'm lucky to be able to have some commissions where both subject and I want to move beyond more traditional means of the photographer, subject relationship. Though we did run thru a series of situations where the end result was going to be a beauty shot, we also were led towards a more dark series. I love the idea of capturing just line and form created with only shadows and small amounts of light - No detail... As if out of a dream sequence only the vague ultimate message becomes apparent and leaves with you the responsibility to decipher it if you so choose.





I'm also happy to present these images as this day, the New Year, brings about new work. I'd like to follow this path and see where it takes me. I was fortunate to have received a note from a fellow artist to tell me that she is seeing a progression of work that has grown in the past year. I feel somewhat validated that one of my peers has noticed this as it was a year ago that I decided to go down this road to be more expressive and not be so afraid to create for the sake of creating. Though I feel that I haven't molded a style that is of my own soul, I know I'm moving, slowly as it may be, towards that as one of my ultimate goals... There is still plenty of fear to fight thru, but I've got a year under my belt and I've at least have some knowledge how to sometimes conteract that fear.

Hope you all have a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year...

FaceBook and an era of time...

Music | Songs from the 70's by various artists via Pandora

I joined FaceBook a few months ago and did'nt enjoy the experience so much... It did'nt make any sense to me and I just could'nt figure out how the damned interface worked... Frankly, I still don't, but recently, I've gotten found and have been found by quite a few people from my past. In the last month, I must have heard from over 10 people who I haven't seen in close to 3 decades! Earlier today, I used the chat feature to communicate with a fellow student who I've known since the 7th grade. After high school, we haven't spoken until she found me on FaceBook, recently. I got caught up on some really old gossip that brought back some good and bad memories. Later today, I thought of band from back then that I really liked. It was from way back from when I was a freshman or sophmore in high school. My sense of music was pretty eclectic, but I have to say back then, I was really moved by 70's slow jams. In Pandora, I created a station after a band named L.T.D. The following is the last 10 songs that were presented to me and really brought me back to the day...

1. We Both Deserve Each Others Love by L.T.D.
2. A House is Not a Home by Luther Vandross
3. Betcha By Golly Wow by The Stylistics
4. Reasons by Earth Wind and Fire
5. Love Won't Let Me Wait by Major Harris
6. Easy by The Commodores
7. Love Ballad by L.T.D.
8. Feel the Fire by Teddy Pendergrass
9. Voyage to Atlantis by The Isley Brothers
10. Sweet Thing by Chaka Khan & Rufus

A {Manifesto} for AC? | Accidental Creative

Music | Pita's Room by Harry Gregson-Williams

Wow, words to live by

A {Manifesto} for AC? | Accidental Creative

Me and D

Music | Summerisle by Saint Etienne

Slumdog Millionaire...

Music | Too Long by Yael Naim

It's one thing when you just wanna stay in from the cold and you don't feel like going out, but it is entirely different when the city is covered in ice and you CAN"T go anywhere... And so I sit at home, perusing the internet and sulking... However, thru my clicks and turns from one site to another, I am reminded that I really need to get out and see Slumdog Millionaire! I've also discovered there is am amazing women who I think I could fall in love with!!!

Words and Change...

Music | 1234 by Feist

A few words bringing on thousands of images...

Back and Forth

Music | The Reason Why by Rachael Yamagata

A recent series that consciously started a few months ago... Faded and now re-inspired...





I hate when I read blogs and such that are vague on details. I'm sorry but this is one of those blogs. More on this at a later date...

Will

Music | First Love by Adele



Is there anything to say?

A Day in the Park

Music | Dakar by John Coltrane

My daughter, a point and shoot and a moment in the park.

Get a Life... Another Rant

Music | Body and Soul by John Coltrane

Maybe it is time I stop hitting the photography forums for awhile and stop reading what other folks have to say... It seems that I need a sharp attitude adjustment because I can feel tension build up around every other thread regarding photography. The latest thing that is bugging me was a question brought up about how this one photographer is shooting everything in film, but scans the image and makes large format prints on a ink jet printer... But because he feels the term ink jet slurs his "art", and he can't figure out a way to describe it himself, he asks the forum what they think an inkjet print should be called... Ask this question on any photo forum and you will get the same answers... Don't call them "Giclee" because it is an overused term or that it is used to deceive, inciting that it is more than just an inkjet print... Another term to use is "Archival Pigment print on Cotton Rag", or whatever the medium the ink or pigment is being printed on. How about "Pigment Print", or "Pigment Ink Print", or maybe this one... "Epson professional photo printer using archival inks".

I understand why so many "photographers" feel the need to "educate" their viewers, but when all is said and done, does the question about content or meaning ever come into question? I'm getting to the point of knowing mediocrity is good enough, if you have enough megapixels or fancy words to describe your work (not that the work itself should ever be held responsible for what the "artist" is trying to say), you suddenly have the credentials of being a real artist...

How about this... shut up all ready and just create for the sake of creating. Spend one hour with your camera and actually go out and take some pictures. When you get home, print your favorite photo and show it to some of your friends and talk about what you did. Show some backbone and be responsible for what you created, with no excuses and stand proudly behind your photo... Do this a few times and maybe you can stop looking for validation on the internet and start living in the real world...

James...

Music | Step One, Two, Three by Roscoe Mitchell and the Note Factory

Earlier today, I was telling a peer that I didn't think I was going to like my 4x5 shots, judging by what I shot with the digital. My intention was to shoot with the 4x5, so out it came first. After the 1st session, I pulled out the digital and saw that my subject was stiff and awkward looking. I thought that since the digital shots immediately followed the film, my film was going to look similar. To my surprise however, of the 4 sheets I photographed, they all looked pretty good! This is the selection I chose...

On a lighter note...

Music | Flashback by Fred Anderson

I'm waiting for film to dry in the bathroom that I shot yesterday. I've resigned to the fact that I will more than likely shoot some digital photos as well as my intended film on these sessions. It isn't so much I want to have a back up, but I know that the feel of the photographs will be different. I don't get opportunities enough to not take advantage of both formats when I'm out there...


James as "Merlin"


James on a movie set somewhere in a NYC alley

Film forthcoming...

Lost / Rant

Music | In Your Own Sweet Way by Kenny Garret

In my quest to find my truth, I've always been keen to the banter between 2 camps, like PC vs the Mac, analog vs digital, specifically, film vs digital. Tides have turned dramatically and the world is moving forward and digital capture has overwhelmingly taken the number one choice for most "photographers" and the general public as well. There is no turning back and I know that film will become more scarce and more difficult to pursue as the years move forward.

What gets me going with this conflict is that technology has taken over aesthetics. Go to any photography forum and there is all the talk about more resolution, more megapixels, more dynamic range, blah blah blah... Who the fuck cares that you can make a 40 inch x 60 inch print at 300 dpi when 99% of your photographs will be 4x6? I've read about guys wanting more from their $20k digital back and would be willing to spend the money to have it. Meanwhile when you go to their websites, they have close up photos of their pet cat at 300% view.

Even the film guys, the so called traditionalist are talking about how they need to get more resolutions out of scanners so they too can print bigger. Never mind that the point of shooting film has some characteristics that are lost in the translation of a scan...

So onward they go, chasing the carrot of being able to print bigger and better and faster... Meanwhile, they have created nothing... Years go by, ideas come and go, then a lifetime goes by and they have only outdated equipment to show for it all...

Where are the discussions of moving forward and creating, aesthetics, romanticism instead of classicism, megapixels and resolution... Lets start using words like form, shape, line, poetic, beauty... in our daily artistic lives. The world would be so much more an interesting place...

The Basics...

Music | With You by Natalie Walker

My God Daughter is taking a photography class this year in High School. I was relieved to hear that they are still shooting film and will be processing and printing themselves. Since finding this info out, we chatted a bit and I decided to lend her my one and only 35mm film camera. With it the basic 50 mm lens and a few rolls of film to get her jump started. I gave her some advice, some of which I need to step back and consider myself. I love the cycles we go thru... I've been shooting for more than 20 years and I find I need to listen to myself about going back and learning basics. As I wrote to her in a letter, I kept thinking I need to follow my own advice!