Saving Memories...

Music | Start Shootin' by Little People

I finished up a one month + visit with my daughter, who I don't get to be with often enough. Living over 2800 miles away, makes things very difficult. I make the best of my visits as I can.

One of the important things I've always understood about photographs is how they can stabilize memories. The visual reference of a time, place and people within the photograph is a deposit in the memory bank where merely looking at that image brings back so many feelings of the moment, you don't ever want to lose them.

I don't try and go out to create these moments, but I know with every visit with my daughter, they will happen naturally and hopefully be captured in an image. With my own memory, I know my brain has allowed remembrances difficult. Having the idea that age plays a roll in that doesn't help me deal with this issue. I can only do what I know how and try to hold onto my past, my memories as with the moment, all we have otherwise is our past...

Perspective

Music | Sending Me Forget Me Nots by Patrice Rushen

Today has been a bit of a whirlwind day. I haven't physically seen my daughter in over 7 months. I'm sure our pacing will get figured out, but we did a lot in the 9 hours since the airport pick up. Besides stopping by her old stomping grounds, eating at one of her favorite places, getting on her bicycles and riding the PDX streets which she has missed, we surprised one of her best friends with a visit, where only her Mom knew we were coming. These girls have know each other practically their entire lives. They are only 6 months apart and via walking our dogs and daughters thru the park, I've known her parents probably since Dara was 8 or 9 months old...

As babies, they shared the same laps of all our mutual friends, shared the floors of the cafe we all frequented, and as they got older, made almost all of their birthday parties... Various Holidays from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Cinco De Mayo... they have spent a lot of time together.

As they got older, different friends, schools and interests took their course. But a visit with each other was never neglected, nor ever not wanted...

Lydia too has not seen Dara just as long as I. When opening the door to see who was there, welcoming bright faces were greeted and banter as if they saw each other yesterday ensued... No beat was missed.

Just like the day, looking at these girls together today, and knowing over 12 years have passed since we all met, it feels like another whirlwind has taken me. Despite time, it is wonderful to see some things just don't change...


2013-08-02 Dara and Lydia in the back yard...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling...

Music | Triumphant by Royksopp

North Light Studio has been in full swing since Thursday and will be for the next week. In the last 3 days, I've managed 3 shoots, one commissioned and the plates are looking good. Repetition is a great way to fine tune and learn the process. I can learn from my mistakes and hopefully not make them again in the future.


Nej


Tony


Dara

Angry Dara

Music | Blues Minor by John Coltrane

Getting back into the swing of things, my first pour to photograph Dara was horrendous. But because of the lack of all chemicals, I decided to just work thru with what I had. The somewhat angry look fit well with the angry looking plate. It works...

Questioning Judgement...

Music | Noiseshaper by Dunk

On my way through out the new process, I can see the possibility of getting caught up in specific aspects of the technique... Bad composition but great pour and clean plate, or everything is perfect with the exception of a light leak in the film holder... We tend to want to concentrate on the positive. I don't think I have let my ability to rate and want publish a photograph, either online or elsewhere blind my judgment to the entirety of an image. I can honestly say I have never come close to producing a perfect or even 75% near perfect image on a technical basis. However, in terms of composition, the ability to communicate an emotional state, or merely feel I have something to say in a photograph has never been an issue. If I feel the visual content of an image is strong enough, it sometimes can override my lacking of technical skills. This is especially true with my adventures with the Wet Plate Collodion process...

However, I was writing to a friend of mine and was shocked to see what he wrote about the image below...



"those pics of xxx and xxxxxxx are scary"

"...you took pretty girls and made them ugly"

"dude, that ain't pretty"

"look at it, there's no other way to interpret it... xxxxxxx looks like an old hag from the Oklahoma dust bowl and xxxx looks like forced child labor from the '20s"

And... last but not least, he also said his wife said I should take it down!

I hope I can take criticism for what I do, like the way I did for this... I sincerely appreciated his honesty. I think for me the shocking response to the photograph made me compelled to write about it here. It is interesting to be able to communicate what one feels about an image. It brings out something in both the artist and viewer...

1 Year Anniversary

Music | I Want to Talk About You by John Coltrane

I've got a heavy heart today, out of the blue shedding tears... It was on this day a year ago my mother passed. Last year it was a Friday... I found out around 2:30 in the afternoon... I had to pick up Dara from camp and just felt the need to do something with her after I had told her the news... We drove to Forest Park, walked deep into the woods along a path that had a creek. I had told her that all of the water that fell down this creek would eventually make it to the Pacific Ocean where Grandma's home land was... Japan. We took solace knowing this and made a few rock sculptures in the river bed in her honor. We whispered our well wishes on to leaves, placed them in the water and watched them float down stream.

Today, Dara had remembered what we did and wanted to go back. However, she decided we should write notes and leave them with more rock sculptures that we would create, again in the same general place we did last year.

I'm so happy that Dara has fond memories of her Grandmother and the tradition we started one year ago today.

We're thinking of you, Mom. We love you and miss you terribly...

Me and D

Music | Summerisle by Saint Etienne

A Camping Trip...

Music | For Your Own Benefit from the Soundtrack, The Hours

Heading out to the coast for camping has long been awaited. Apparently I promised my daughter to go camping this summer, last fall! She kindly reminded me and since we haven't done any over nighters together this summer, I obliged.

It is nice to know that our past trips have held memories that I didn't think she would remember. She wanted to make sure we stopped by the place where we had picnics in the past along a river where I taught her how to skip rocks. When she said that, I realized that her memories are all hers to pick and choose from. I am happy to be the facilitator...

Onto the camp ground, we found a nice area with trails to walk and ride our bikes. We could ride to the ocean and another nearby lake thru the woods. Seems like we just set up the tent when Dara wanted to start the fire and make smores... That was for the evening though. She did have a great time gathering firewood. It was an adventure for searching out "treasures!"

I asked Dara what her favorite part of the trip was and it was the making of the smores. She has become an expert at roasting marshmellows and after eating 6 of them, it is no wonder why...


Uprooted Tree

A Nice Distraction...

Music | One for Daddy-O by Cannonball Adderley

All summer long, Dara has been going to summer camp for all of the morning and most of the day, which leaves my time with her to a minimum... Drag as it has been, she has been having a great summer with lots to talk about and new skills under her belt. This last week, there was no summer camp, so we've been able to just hang out together to ride our bikes, hike in the woods, ice cream runs... I know she is getting to an age where she'd rather hang out with friends and do the gossipy things girls her age do and most all, to my chagrin, talk about boys... I've been told by my friends with girls a bit older than she that this time would come... I hope I'm ready!

So though I'd like to spend the last few days of summer vacation with her alone, she got to go with one of her best friends to Oaks Park Amusement Park to do whatever they wanted. Roller Coasters, other rides that would make me vomit, ice cream cones and lots of girl talk as they waited for their turn to get on the rides, ensued. As the evening was ending, they got to go an a ride, not unlike a ferris wheel, but could rotate 360º in a cage called the Rock O Plane. Since no one was waiting in line to go on, the operator of the ride asked if the rider would like to stay on or get off. 4 more times they went without having to get out and start over... No thanks!

So as school approaches, another year starting, one level of growing up surpassed, we go into another. 9 years old and 4th grade... Here she comes!

Japanese Origami Cranes...

There is a Japanese folk tale about making 1000 origami cranes so you may have a healthy life, marriage, wish... When my Mom was told of her situation, she started making them, not with the intention of making 1000 of them so she could survive, but to give to people who crossed her path. She gave them to friends, neighbors in her retirement complex, nurses, doctors, even people at the pharmacy. My sister told me during a previous visit,she would see her origami cranes all over the place... My Mom told each recipient that the Crane represented a long an happy life...

When I visited my Mom in July, she made a special crane for Dara. I thought it would be nice to photograph her with her own crane. It is kept in her jewelry box with its own partition...