Trouble Shooting...

Music | I Remember You by Johnny Griffin

So since I tried to make final adjustments in my printing preferences for the digital negs, I can't print a decent Pt/Pd print. It is no doubt that I did a decent print before I made all the changes that was written in the manual. So... I will try and go back to where I was and start over. Good news is that my actual film negatives print out very nicely. The boost in creating a great looking test print is huge for my confidence. I feel like I am moving in a positive direction.

The issue I am having with the digital negs is that my prints came out too thin, then after a second adjustment, lacking contrast. I figured my chemical profile is fine since I can make a great film neg print, so I will go after the printing of the digital neg...

Corded Drills!

Music | Province by TV on the Radio

I can only go with the flow. I was hoping to get home and start printing, but I accidentally left my light source on over night. The heat generated so much in the box and melted the glue holding my tubes in place. Just as I was about to stick the contact frame into the box, I see 4 tubes have fallen. I figured out a simple and effective fix, but my cordless drill has lost its power... Now I wait for the battery to recharge. Meanwhile, I have nothing to do but write about it...

Progress...

2 steps forward and 1 or 2 backwards. I imagine this is a good way to learn as I am not going to get ahead of myself. I'm still working out the Platinum Palladium printing, of which I am still having a hard time judging exposure, but also, the digital negative aspect of the process. My first go around actually went well rendering a nice Pt/Pd print as well as my second and third. I wanted to lock down my printing preferences and went thru the steps to set it all back up. I tried a "quick" print yesterday only to find that the neg was too thin. I know I made some changes from the previous version I did, but only more accurate to the initial instructions. Needless to say I will recheck the preferences and try another print. I'm only hoping that this process will give me a better understanding of the tasks.

These last 2 weeks have been enlightening. Progress is a desire now, more so than in a long time. Unlike Wet Plate Collodion, Platinum Palladium printing is making more sense to me. The progression is linear and I can find my way back on track with a bit more ease. I'm not saying I suspect the road to be easy, but I'm feeling more confident so far. Can't wait to get back at it later today.

Refining the Process

Music | Controversy by Prince

A sad day today... Prince, it was reported passed away earlier. No details as of yet. I have my itunes playing everything Prince.

On a 180º sentiment, today is my second day going solo with the Platinum Palladium printing. I am a much more harsher a critic today than I was 2 days ago. I'm on a second round printing the same 2 images I printed the other day. They are visually getting better. I am pleased to see a marked difference.

Milestones...

Music | Underwater Love by Jerome Isma-Ae

Knowing I can make a Platinum Palladium print at my place and solo is huge. I know I am merely going thru the motions right now, and that actually learning the process will take years, but this is a great start for me. I'm very excited at the notion of learning another alternative process.


Platinum Palladium test print

Round 2... Platinum Palladium

Music | Breathe by Telepopmusik

I had another mini workshop with Susan de Witt to learn some technique to print Platinum Palladium. I was in a much better head space this time as I have been sitting on chemicals here at home with paper and images to print. Now that I think about it, I was in this same position the first time Susan taught me, but this time, things made much more sense. I had pre-cut my Bergger Cot 320 for 4x5 inch negs, but only brought 8x10 inch negs... I ended up going with the flow and came up with this...


I'm totally elated with the test print. I'm still a bit intimidated as this went too easy. First try and an educated guess on exposure and pretty much nailed it.

Oh How I Have Missed You...

Music | Bario Alto by Thievery Corporation

When we were introduced, I immediately fell in love with you. I was committed to be with you from day one. It took a long courtship of 2 years before you kindly submitted to me. I had my way with you for several years after that. Never once did I ever take what we had for granted. You had a way of keeping me on my toes and constantly kept things interesting.

After our 3rd year together, I felt like I lost you. I did lose you. You gave me nothing but frustration and only on small occasions did you make me feel just barely comfortable. You came back to me for only a few months, then left me entirely for close to a year. I came close to just giving up and moving on. I actually did move on, starting relationships that I have become quite fond of and will explore...

But today, today you've come back with some assurances. I haven't nor will I ever figure out why you did what you did, but I am so happy we are together again. You know I've fought the good fight for you, so I hope you know I am committed. I am never myself when you are not there. Oh dear, how I have missed you...


My second successful plate after almost a year of having major issues with Wet Plate Collodion. You can't imagine how much I have missed working this technique. Oh how I have missed you...

10 Big Pictures

Music | Soul Junction by John Coltrane

On April 3rd, our 10 Big Pictures 1 Little Reception took place...

This is the 2nd year Susan de Witt and I have hung our photographs on the St. Johns Coffee Roasters exterior walls. Last years project worked as intended which was to collaborate with someone and get me out of my stalled creativity...


After printing our 3x5.5 foot images, pre planning our layout got our collaboration going...


The wall and what was left over from our first go around over a year ago...


Susan's image from over 14 months. I love the degrading edges and the textures that has survived time.


Our first image pasted on the wall. I made an error in the paste recipe and it layed on opaque. We had to sponge bath the entire print with water to dilute the paste to save it. Mop and Glow floor wax went over the image next and saved the project.


The wind was not at all helpful, but the rest of the images slowly went up. Fantastic helper and model, Billy (second image from the top left) and Susan putting up number 8.


Prepping the wall for number 10...


Twilight


Details...


Detail of Irish...


Detail of Susan's Boots


Susan and I and our first guest, Ray Bidegain for our Little Reception...


In full swing...
Thanks to Susan de Witt again for this years installment. Thanks to St. Johns Coffee Roasters for supporting public outdoor art and the great drinks served daily! All of our supporters and viewers, thank you!

Taking My Own Advice

Music | Lonely One by Johnny Griffin

I was just giving advice to a fellow photographer about doing whatever is necessary to get the work done. She had issues of not being able to print at home because of the lack of darkroom space. Rental darkroom was fine, but the per hour cost made her insane because she kept looking at the clock...

The fact anyone is doing actual wet darkroom work is a sacrifice. I don't know but just 2 photographers that have dedicated darkrooms. These days, it is a luxury. Space and cost are the big issues, especially now here in Portland where rents seemed to have tripled in just the span of 3 years.

So said photographer has an enlarger in her bedroom, in a small apartment. She would only be able to print at night because of light issues. There is a bathroom and kitchen, so running water is not an issue. If we choose to work and create where we have to make sacrifices and extra work, we either do or don't. If we don't, suddenly months, years go by and the regret comes flooding in.

I've been stagnant for sometime, though I've found great rental studios to shoot in, relatively inexpensive. But every shoot is not a situation where I can dish out cash to use space. I have for years, shot in my living room and blacked out the bathroom to process my wet plates. What often holds me back is the idea of having to set up the darkroom before the shoot, then tear it down when I am done. The same as the studio. Pulling out the Speedos, heads, stands, backdrop, etc... often just makes me hold it off for another day and a month goes by.

I've always have been pretty good about using what I have available to me and move forward with the work. I am lucky in that I have alternative means to do what I want to do. I think how easy how my situation could change which would lead to things being so much more difficult than they are now.

Ass in gear, lets go...

Imperfection...

Music | This Must Be the Place by Talking Heads

It isn't that I don't want to master the things I undertake, specifically in photography, but I am taking an appreciation for the flaws that come out of doing things in a non digital manner. Of course I want even development across the film plane, no dust, no fixer stains...

Looking at this image, and its inherent issues, I love it for what it is, but also that it shows that no, this is not a digital image. It was created with lots of time and love. Going thru its iterations of a blank canvas, to a latent image, development, fixer and wash... When going thru these stages, I am on top of my game as best as I know how. I care about each and every step I take with this piece of film... to make the image.


Hoop Skirt
I want wabi sabi. I like distinction. I want soul.

Building an Ultra Large Format Camera

Music | Honey by Moby

Lately, there have been a good amount of posts of people who are making ULF cameras, anything larger than an 8x10. It never occurred to me that maybe I could build one as I felt it was way out of my skill level. Not only that, cost for film is just outrageous and how would I ever be able to process a 16x20 or 20x24 sheet? But with the thought of paper negatives, X-ray film and Direct Positive Paper, the idea of being able to create native images Big is turning my head and the idea is intriguing me more.

I am starting to realize I don't need a fully functioning camera in the traditional sense. I won't be shooting wide ranging subject matter of landscapes to close ups, but more simply, 1/2 to 3/4 shots of a body. One of the hardest parts of building such a camera would be eliminated, knowing what it will be used for. I will have to figure out what lense I will be using and factor the general distance I will be shooting from the subject. I can make a no bellows sliding box camera..

At this point, I am thinking in totally a naive perspective. In due time, I'll do some homework and see how feasible this idea is to construct. I have to admit, shooting 16x20 or even 11x14 is an exciting thought!

Marie

Music | Crescent by John Coltrane


Marie | 8x10

Slow Down!

Music | The Crossing by The World Saxophone Quartet

With deadlines still more than 5 months out, the Big Project I am working on with Françoise Weeks has put undo pressure on my psyche. Our shoot before today especially felt stressful to me, even though everything was pretty much figured out in advance. We had great models, I had an assistant, we had plenty of time in the studio. Yet, I realized even during that shoot, I wasn't as relaxed, or I just felt a gnawing that pestered me through most of our time.

I've gotten better at figuring out what it could be if something gets me in this mindset. I decided that like in my previous post, I needed to breathe. I was getting so caught up in the project that I forgot to just have fun. Take 3 steps back and then start over.

This shoot Françoise and I did earlier today, though quickly put together, I went back to basics. Work the grey area and make it simple. I realized on the previous shoot, I was working in extreme mode. I made things way more difficult than they needed to be. This time, one light, mostly head shots and little changes. I switched from the dslr to 8x10, screwed up a sheet, but let it slide. I thought to myself at least I realized the mistake.

I often go back to a series of portraits I did at a café I frequented called Madrona Hill. This was back in maybe 2003. I think of that series that jump started me back into being creative. One camera, one lens and natural light. Check it out. It is a short but good read.

That was my inspiration to get back home. Today was a great shoot...


Marie wearing a Françoise Weeks Original"

Progess

Music | To Build a Home (Radio Version) by Cinematic Orchestra

39 prints. I get to frame them now! Oh boy!


Hand stamped and signed

1 of 20

Music | Hindsight by DJ Shadow

It is 12:45 a.m. I am in the midst of opening 20 files and making prints for the Freedom Fighters presentation and reception that will be happening in a little over 2 weeks. With huge printing problems earlier, I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to fix or have an alternative ready to go. In all, 39 prints of portraits will be made and framed.

It appears the printing is going well (knock wood) with a streamlined process in place. I'm breezing through the first 20 and should be done soon.

I love these late night productive moments.

What is Beautiful...

Music | Resolution by Thievery Corporation

I'm sitting here wondering what to write because this image is having an enveloping play with my brain. I often get to a point where I know if I think about it hard enough, I will be able to verbalize some nuances of my thoughts. Sometimes, I don't care and admire it and let it go. It is a beautiful image for right now, just for the sake of beauty.


This is Beautiful...
I don't always have the need to express in words what I feel. I don't have art speak on my mind hardly ever anyway. I've been told that is important to be able to speak about your work. I have enough of a hard time to even come up with an artist statement, let alone talk about specific work and how it relates to me. I am working on it though.

Today, I don't give a fuck. I post this image out into the world because I feel like it.

Fuck you.

Breathe

Music | Intergalactic by Beastie Boys


I've been shooting more 8x10 recently than ever before. Along with the idea that the more we know, the more we know nothing, I've taken to bowing down and shooting this large format like a true beginner. I had a shoot yesterday with the Burke and James and while going through the motions, I felt like I had to move double time to catch up on my ignorance. I am sure my collaborators there at the time would agree. I've noticed most of the time I shoot 8x10, I am not relaxed and hence, I probably miss a lot what this particular experience is trying to say.





Gotta break it down and learn to breathe!

It Never Ends...

Music | Blue Friday by Kenny Dorham

The more you know, the more you know you have so much to learn... I just heard that earlier today at the café. How true, how true... Photography has been an intimate part of me for more than half my life. Lots of time, knowledge, mistakes... Adventures, more knowledge, not just technical, but the life lessons that have come along the way as well. I can say from the deepest part of my heart, it is a craft that I know more than most people. Some of that knowledge is automatic, like loading a Hasselblad film back, or putting a 30 year old light meter in my hand and know exactly how to use it like I was using it yesterday. Innate knowledge learned through repetition.

As I move thru the years and hopefully more profoundly with photography, on occasion I have epiphanies. I have learned we exploit what we know because we know by this time we do it well. I also have figured out that it is easy to rest on laurels and stay on the same course if I am not careful. I have been fortunate enough to move thru a diverse array of processes and technologies. I know it is easy to get caught up in the technical, forgoing for whatever reason not pushing forward artistically.

I have moved from my early days working with film, then digital, then shifting back to film, and now processes from the mid 1800's, going in the opposite direction of the modern. 4x5, 8x10, antiquated processes, hands on. Those are merely tools, a way to a final image. It has taken me all these years to get to where I am, and I am only now thinking of not the process, but the image. I've gotten good at conveying the obvious, but now comes the hard part... Convey ideas in between the lines...

Sometimes I feel like all the time that has passed, I should be there and not here. It is relative, and these years did do good in teaching me we move at our own speed and the lessons come when they do. All this knowledge and so far to go...

I'm Only Happy when it Rains

Music | 6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps

I started a late night print run, wanting to get a nice print to gift to Epson, who has for the 4th year in a row donated ink and paper. This year, I shot 39 portraits over 2 days during the Roosevelt High School Freedom Fighters Event, where the Freshman class prepare, interview, write about and publish their own book about their experiences with the Freedom Fighters, who are championing the causes of Social Justice. A traveling exhibition also accompany the student's efforts. I've got about 3 weeks to print and frame those 39 portraits for display at the reception and then presented to each of the Freedom Fighters who were apart of this years festivities.

This gesture to Epson is to thank them for making my part much more special than just having images on screen. The framed prints as gifts to the participants has become tradition and I feel only more honored to be able to make substance these images to put out into the world.

After more than 5 weeks of inactivity because of major printer issues, I finally got it working proper and was able to make a few positive test runs. Epson is about great printers, colour and black and white. Each year I make a print to give them as a small token of my appreciation. In the past, the framed prints were black and white. Having recently shot with Françoise Weeks, creating quite a few stunning colour images, I had this one in mind. A few last minute test runs and one head clean, a beautiful print rolled out, stamped, signed then framed. I will with great pride hand over this image and feel I gave back something of rare beauty...



As I write about this evening, it clicks in at 1:11 a.m. While cleaning the glass and positioning the print in the mat, I felt a sense of euphoria. While the world sleeps, I'm down in the basement in my work space creating art. I know I am a lucky soul to be able to do what I get to do. I have much to appreciate...

If I were a Woman...

Music | Le Chat du Café Des Artiste by Charlotte Gainsbourg

I would be a better Photographer...

Sarah Moon

It lights me up to watch this video of Sarah Moon's images, hearing her words. I feel a direct connection, and yet, feel so disconnected.