Somewhere in Helvetia, OR
October 17, 2008
October 14, 2008
Out in the Open...
Music | The Horizon Has Been Defeated by Jack Johnson
OK, I put it out into the public... I've got people on the outside knowing what my intentions are. I have put myself in a position where I have to walk the walk...
I was just talking to a friend about a friend she was describing as a self starter, goes out and seems to always achieve what she sets out to do. Not a runner, she is now training to run a half marathon, even though she has lots of pain while running...
I know I perform better when I have people counting on me. I'm not much of a self starter. I seem to need and build momentum before before I get going... or a deadline. My interests in shooting with my 4x5 is itching me. Ever since processing my 1st batch of film, I've been wanting to shoot more. I've had a few excuses preventing me from going out to shoot... my car is in disrepair, I've got projects que'd up that I have to finish, my prescriptions are really knocking me out...
So this evening while I was writing to a friend who I wanted to photograph, I decided to extend the invitation to a bunch of people, some who will not be surprised to hear of this request, but others that will be. Most are friends, others are acquaintances, friend's of friends, people from forums...
"Before the weather starts to change for the worse, I would like to create a portrait of you. Unlike the way I've been shooting for over a decade, I'll be using a 4x5 camera and shooting film. I'm traveling down the road back to the basics. Just a camera, tripod and film.
I am not making this a big production to get you in front of the camera. We can take as much or as little time as you'd like. What is important to me is having subjects in front of me as I go back in time and work with this large format camera. My goal is to remaster the techniques of processing film by hand. Further along down the road, I hope to print some of these negs using an old technique using Platinum and Palladium.
If your interested, or not, email me and let me know your thoughts.
Thanks,
Ted"
And so I also extend this invitation to you. If you are in the Portland area, look me up. I've got a few boxes of film ready to go, chemicals to process the film and maybe a print in return (digital at this point) for you time.
OK, I put it out into the public... I've got people on the outside knowing what my intentions are. I have put myself in a position where I have to walk the walk...
I was just talking to a friend about a friend she was describing as a self starter, goes out and seems to always achieve what she sets out to do. Not a runner, she is now training to run a half marathon, even though she has lots of pain while running...
I know I perform better when I have people counting on me. I'm not much of a self starter. I seem to need and build momentum before before I get going... or a deadline. My interests in shooting with my 4x5 is itching me. Ever since processing my 1st batch of film, I've been wanting to shoot more. I've had a few excuses preventing me from going out to shoot... my car is in disrepair, I've got projects que'd up that I have to finish, my prescriptions are really knocking me out...
So this evening while I was writing to a friend who I wanted to photograph, I decided to extend the invitation to a bunch of people, some who will not be surprised to hear of this request, but others that will be. Most are friends, others are acquaintances, friend's of friends, people from forums...
"Before the weather starts to change for the worse, I would like to create a portrait of you. Unlike the way I've been shooting for over a decade, I'll be using a 4x5 camera and shooting film. I'm traveling down the road back to the basics. Just a camera, tripod and film.
I am not making this a big production to get you in front of the camera. We can take as much or as little time as you'd like. What is important to me is having subjects in front of me as I go back in time and work with this large format camera. My goal is to remaster the techniques of processing film by hand. Further along down the road, I hope to print some of these negs using an old technique using Platinum and Palladium.
If your interested, or not, email me and let me know your thoughts.
Thanks,
Ted"
And so I also extend this invitation to you. If you are in the Portland area, look me up. I've got a few boxes of film ready to go, chemicals to process the film and maybe a print in return (digital at this point) for you time.
October 09, 2008
Commitment!
Music | Life for Rent by Dido
The commitment is pure inspiration! To do anything consistently, every day, other than wake up and fall to sleep amazes me.
Abbey Ryan's A Painting a Day
The commitment is pure inspiration! To do anything consistently, every day, other than wake up and fall to sleep amazes me.
Abbey Ryan's A Painting a Day
October 08, 2008
October 06, 2008
Confused... and Dazed too!
Music | All Coming Back by Sarah Blasco
I don't often have conflicts selecting when a photo should be colour or Black and White when I make that initial decision. However, I think everything about this shot worked, including the colours in this photo...
I don't often have conflicts selecting when a photo should be colour or Black and White when I make that initial decision. However, I think everything about this shot worked, including the colours in this photo...
Hopworks Brewry
Music | Go by Wayne Shorter
It has been awhile since PattyDaddy and HambahgaStakee reviewed a burger joint, but we just hit Hopworks on Powell to have a luscious cheeseburger, thickly cut fries and some seriously good organic beer. I've been there several times and was surprised that it had not yet been reviewed on one of my favorite blogs, Portland Hamburgers. Patty Daddy had not been there and as I had declared a Top 5 Joint, he agreed after the meal.
It has been awhile since PattyDaddy and HambahgaStakee reviewed a burger joint, but we just hit Hopworks on Powell to have a luscious cheeseburger, thickly cut fries and some seriously good organic beer. I've been there several times and was surprised that it had not yet been reviewed on one of my favorite blogs, Portland Hamburgers. Patty Daddy had not been there and as I had declared a Top 5 Joint, he agreed after the meal.
October 05, 2008
A Very Sophisticated Shot...
Music | Blood Count by Jon Raskin
I've always had a mantra of keeping things as simple as possible. Well, maybe that isn't true... I don't have enough sophistication to think of complex ways of doing things... Anyway, I ran into a problem with this shot as I needed to have a boom for a light to be hung from above. Because of my unsophisticated ways, I carry a minimal amount of gear. I didn't have what I needed, but came upon this...
Yes?... No?...
of course yes...
I've always had a mantra of keeping things as simple as possible. Well, maybe that isn't true... I don't have enough sophistication to think of complex ways of doing things... Anyway, I ran into a problem with this shot as I needed to have a boom for a light to be hung from above. Because of my unsophisticated ways, I carry a minimal amount of gear. I didn't have what I needed, but came upon this...
Yes?... No?...
of course yes...
October 04, 2008
Maiden Voyage
Music | It's Amazing by Jem
Wow, this 4x5 thing is gonna take awhile to master... I'm a bit more clear knowing that I've got a lot of improving to do with my developing of film. The dynamic range can be much improved. I'm also not getting what I think I'm seeing thru the view finder. I'm feeling it is just a matter of getting to know a much larger space to control, thru out the entire viewing area of 4 inches by 5 inches, as opposed to viewing a scene thru a 35 mm slr.
My hands are wet now and I'm over the initial fear of processing film. I'll just have to keep going and move closer to what I see in my head and what I see in print.
Wow, this 4x5 thing is gonna take awhile to master... I'm a bit more clear knowing that I've got a lot of improving to do with my developing of film. The dynamic range can be much improved. I'm also not getting what I think I'm seeing thru the view finder. I'm feeling it is just a matter of getting to know a much larger space to control, thru out the entire viewing area of 4 inches by 5 inches, as opposed to viewing a scene thru a 35 mm slr.
My hands are wet now and I'm over the initial fear of processing film. I'll just have to keep going and move closer to what I see in my head and what I see in print.
A Rush!
Music | Epistrophy by Thelonious Monk with John Coltrane
I'm sitting on a cloud right now. For the first time in maybe a decade, I processed film with my own 2 hands. The procedure was actually much more simple than I anticipated, but I dared not look at the film, even after going thru the fixer phase which allows you to pull the film out into daylight. Methodically, I went thru my rehearsed routine and did not deviate from each step I had planned. Finally, after pulling the film off the reels to hand dry in the bathroom, I saw a beautiful negative image. Frankly, it has been so long where I had to judge negatives, I'm not sure how good of a job I did with the developing... But merely seeing an image on the film made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge! So, in the bathroom they hang, drying slowly before I can soon admire them up close.
I'm sitting on a cloud right now. For the first time in maybe a decade, I processed film with my own 2 hands. The procedure was actually much more simple than I anticipated, but I dared not look at the film, even after going thru the fixer phase which allows you to pull the film out into daylight. Methodically, I went thru my rehearsed routine and did not deviate from each step I had planned. Finally, after pulling the film off the reels to hand dry in the bathroom, I saw a beautiful negative image. Frankly, it has been so long where I had to judge negatives, I'm not sure how good of a job I did with the developing... But merely seeing an image on the film made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge! So, in the bathroom they hang, drying slowly before I can soon admire them up close.
September 30, 2008
Out of the Blue...
Music | Time and Space by The Cinematic Orchestra
I love what I do... In the midst of being where I am, where ever that might be, I'm not certain... I find an amazing face, attempt to make contact, a few emails back and forth and we meet at a café. I find that the face is even more amazing than the photos I've seen... we have a few common connections. A few days pass and here she sits in front of my camera.
Ameena sings, dances, writes, is very stylish with an East Coast lean.
I love what I do... In the midst of being where I am, where ever that might be, I'm not certain... I find an amazing face, attempt to make contact, a few emails back and forth and we meet at a café. I find that the face is even more amazing than the photos I've seen... we have a few common connections. A few days pass and here she sits in front of my camera.
Ameena sings, dances, writes, is very stylish with an East Coast lean.
Me Me Me
Music | God Bless by Lamb
Perusing Ray Bidegain's site again, I found another photo of myself. I was honored to be a part of his show he had at the Camerawork Gallery. With a bit of self indulgence in the back of my mind, I told Ray he over priced the portrait he did of me...
This was the 2nd shot of 2 plates...
the first can be seen here.
Perusing Ray Bidegain's site again, I found another photo of myself. I was honored to be a part of his show he had at the Camerawork Gallery. With a bit of self indulgence in the back of my mind, I told Ray he over priced the portrait he did of me...
This was the 2nd shot of 2 plates...
the first can be seen here.
Coming Home...
Music | Flashback by Fred Anderson
The new beginning starts a little earlier than anticipated. I found an amazing face last week and will be shooting her tomorrow (actually, later today). I had decided since she sings, dances and writes, she belongs in my slowly growing artists series that I pushed earlier this year. So along with the 5D and 100 f:2, I'll be shooting some 4x5 film, which I need to have on hand to start to process film here at my darkroom-less home. I've accumulated pretty much everything I need to do so, so having film to actually practice on will be good.
I was reading on a forum how one photographer noticed that all the images he had framed and presented on the walls of his studio had all been photographed with film, processed and printed with his own hands. He knew he had taken photographs just as inspiring with his digital camera, printed with his ink jet printer, but thought that maybe because he worked, sweated and toiled with his analog techniques, those images to him were more about him than the digital counterpart.
Just before starting to write this entry, I was prepping for tomorrows shoot. I pulled out my film changing bag, loaded up some holders and felt a connection all ready to tomorrow. My hands are all ready in the process... I'm recognizing how much more involved I am for an event that is going to take place not for another 11 hours. I also know that after my shoot, I won't see results until I take the plunge and do what I haven't done in close to 10 years. Not just process film, but process 4x5 film which I've never done for myself. I hope I'm met with a warm welcome!
The new beginning starts a little earlier than anticipated. I found an amazing face last week and will be shooting her tomorrow (actually, later today). I had decided since she sings, dances and writes, she belongs in my slowly growing artists series that I pushed earlier this year. So along with the 5D and 100 f:2, I'll be shooting some 4x5 film, which I need to have on hand to start to process film here at my darkroom-less home. I've accumulated pretty much everything I need to do so, so having film to actually practice on will be good.
I was reading on a forum how one photographer noticed that all the images he had framed and presented on the walls of his studio had all been photographed with film, processed and printed with his own hands. He knew he had taken photographs just as inspiring with his digital camera, printed with his ink jet printer, but thought that maybe because he worked, sweated and toiled with his analog techniques, those images to him were more about him than the digital counterpart.
Just before starting to write this entry, I was prepping for tomorrows shoot. I pulled out my film changing bag, loaded up some holders and felt a connection all ready to tomorrow. My hands are all ready in the process... I'm recognizing how much more involved I am for an event that is going to take place not for another 11 hours. I also know that after my shoot, I won't see results until I take the plunge and do what I haven't done in close to 10 years. Not just process film, but process 4x5 film which I've never done for myself. I hope I'm met with a warm welcome!
September 16, 2008
September 12, 2008
Smokin!
Music | The Rent by Steve Lacy
Rarely are there photos of myself I like... This year has been a good year!
I've been going out most Wednesday nights with a crew of other photographers to Jake's where we have been drinking and smoking for years - great food too... The other "gentlemen" smoke their robust cigars as I puff away on my petite clove cigarettes.
John Prutch captured me awhile back if I recall correctly with these 2 images he just sent me. What do you think, could I be shooting the shit with John Bukowski or Tom Waits?
Rarely are there photos of myself I like... This year has been a good year!
I've been going out most Wednesday nights with a crew of other photographers to Jake's where we have been drinking and smoking for years - great food too... The other "gentlemen" smoke their robust cigars as I puff away on my petite clove cigarettes.
John Prutch captured me awhile back if I recall correctly with these 2 images he just sent me. What do you think, could I be shooting the shit with John Bukowski or Tom Waits?
September 09, 2008
Would I bore myself?
Music | Hello by Poe
I've known that I needed to get out and shoot again. I just have had no energy to pull anything together. However, late last week, the photo gods presented me with an opportunity to photograph an idea that I've been working on for the past 8 months, without much luck. With little advance notice, all of the elements for this shoot suddenly came together and I had a few days to prepare. In the back of my mind, I still had doubts this shoot was actually going to take place, so I was lax in my mental preparation.
I enjoy putting myself in uncertain situations and see what comes out of them. This was no exception. I've worked with one of the models before, but the lead in this photo was my elusive muse. And working with 2 models under these circumstances was also a stretch for me as I'd have to be director to 2, not just 1 as I'm accustomed to.
Watching others work is always interesting to me. I like to see how the artist goes about finding their vision. I've watched documentaries on Avedon, Annie, Wim Wenders... The interesting part is to see how they relate to their subjects and locations. I especially enjoy watching peers of mine work. I know these people and to see them work often brings about people I don't know. I like to think I am that way too. I wonder if I'd be interesting to myself...
I've known that I needed to get out and shoot again. I just have had no energy to pull anything together. However, late last week, the photo gods presented me with an opportunity to photograph an idea that I've been working on for the past 8 months, without much luck. With little advance notice, all of the elements for this shoot suddenly came together and I had a few days to prepare. In the back of my mind, I still had doubts this shoot was actually going to take place, so I was lax in my mental preparation.
I enjoy putting myself in uncertain situations and see what comes out of them. This was no exception. I've worked with one of the models before, but the lead in this photo was my elusive muse. And working with 2 models under these circumstances was also a stretch for me as I'd have to be director to 2, not just 1 as I'm accustomed to.
Watching others work is always interesting to me. I like to see how the artist goes about finding their vision. I've watched documentaries on Avedon, Annie, Wim Wenders... The interesting part is to see how they relate to their subjects and locations. I especially enjoy watching peers of mine work. I know these people and to see them work often brings about people I don't know. I like to think I am that way too. I wonder if I'd be interesting to myself...
September 06, 2008
A Camping Trip...
Music | For Your Own Benefit from the Soundtrack, The Hours
Heading out to the coast for camping has long been awaited. Apparently I promised my daughter to go camping this summer, last fall! She kindly reminded me and since we haven't done any over nighters together this summer, I obliged.
It is nice to know that our past trips have held memories that I didn't think she would remember. She wanted to make sure we stopped by the place where we had picnics in the past along a river where I taught her how to skip rocks. When she said that, I realized that her memories are all hers to pick and choose from. I am happy to be the facilitator...
Onto the camp ground, we found a nice area with trails to walk and ride our bikes. We could ride to the ocean and another nearby lake thru the woods. Seems like we just set up the tent when Dara wanted to start the fire and make smores... That was for the evening though. She did have a great time gathering firewood. It was an adventure for searching out "treasures!"
I asked Dara what her favorite part of the trip was and it was the making of the smores. She has become an expert at roasting marshmellows and after eating 6 of them, it is no wonder why...
Uprooted Tree
Heading out to the coast for camping has long been awaited. Apparently I promised my daughter to go camping this summer, last fall! She kindly reminded me and since we haven't done any over nighters together this summer, I obliged.
It is nice to know that our past trips have held memories that I didn't think she would remember. She wanted to make sure we stopped by the place where we had picnics in the past along a river where I taught her how to skip rocks. When she said that, I realized that her memories are all hers to pick and choose from. I am happy to be the facilitator...
Onto the camp ground, we found a nice area with trails to walk and ride our bikes. We could ride to the ocean and another nearby lake thru the woods. Seems like we just set up the tent when Dara wanted to start the fire and make smores... That was for the evening though. She did have a great time gathering firewood. It was an adventure for searching out "treasures!"
I asked Dara what her favorite part of the trip was and it was the making of the smores. She has become an expert at roasting marshmellows and after eating 6 of them, it is no wonder why...
Uprooted Tree
August 30, 2008
A Nice Distraction...
Music | One for Daddy-O by Cannonball Adderley
All summer long, Dara has been going to summer camp for all of the morning and most of the day, which leaves my time with her to a minimum... Drag as it has been, she has been having a great summer with lots to talk about and new skills under her belt. This last week, there was no summer camp, so we've been able to just hang out together to ride our bikes, hike in the woods, ice cream runs... I know she is getting to an age where she'd rather hang out with friends and do the gossipy things girls her age do and most all, to my chagrin, talk about boys... I've been told by my friends with girls a bit older than she that this time would come... I hope I'm ready!
So though I'd like to spend the last few days of summer vacation with her alone, she got to go with one of her best friends to Oaks Park Amusement Park to do whatever they wanted. Roller Coasters, other rides that would make me vomit, ice cream cones and lots of girl talk as they waited for their turn to get on the rides, ensued. As the evening was ending, they got to go an a ride, not unlike a ferris wheel, but could rotate 360º in a cage called the Rock O Plane. Since no one was waiting in line to go on, the operator of the ride asked if the rider would like to stay on or get off. 4 more times they went without having to get out and start over... No thanks!
So as school approaches, another year starting, one level of growing up surpassed, we go into another. 9 years old and 4th grade... Here she comes!
All summer long, Dara has been going to summer camp for all of the morning and most of the day, which leaves my time with her to a minimum... Drag as it has been, she has been having a great summer with lots to talk about and new skills under her belt. This last week, there was no summer camp, so we've been able to just hang out together to ride our bikes, hike in the woods, ice cream runs... I know she is getting to an age where she'd rather hang out with friends and do the gossipy things girls her age do and most all, to my chagrin, talk about boys... I've been told by my friends with girls a bit older than she that this time would come... I hope I'm ready!
So though I'd like to spend the last few days of summer vacation with her alone, she got to go with one of her best friends to Oaks Park Amusement Park to do whatever they wanted. Roller Coasters, other rides that would make me vomit, ice cream cones and lots of girl talk as they waited for their turn to get on the rides, ensued. As the evening was ending, they got to go an a ride, not unlike a ferris wheel, but could rotate 360º in a cage called the Rock O Plane. Since no one was waiting in line to go on, the operator of the ride asked if the rider would like to stay on or get off. 4 more times they went without having to get out and start over... No thanks!
So as school approaches, another year starting, one level of growing up surpassed, we go into another. 9 years old and 4th grade... Here she comes!
August 27, 2008
August 23, 2008
August 23, 1924
I've heard that lots of people pass close to their birth day. So it was for my Mom. She would have been 84, today.
So to deal with my Mom's death, I've been trying to stay busy, but still let the grieving take its course. I had one dream this past week where I was sleeping and heard my Mom's pitter patter footsteps in her slippers walking along the linoleum floor like when I was a kid. The rhythm can only be make by a little Japanese woman. I suddenly woke up expecting to see her...
Almost any conversation I have about my Mom brings on a tear. It won't matter where I am or what I'm doing...
I was driving in the car, listening to music running an errand and something on the radio reminded me of my Mom. I started crying like a blubbering baby.
Ha, even as I write this I can feel the tears coming. It isn't necessarily sadness, I don't think. I have lots of happy memories that can keep me going for a long time. It is just that she is gone... OK, it is the meloncholy...
So to deal with my Mom's death, I've been trying to stay busy, but still let the grieving take its course. I had one dream this past week where I was sleeping and heard my Mom's pitter patter footsteps in her slippers walking along the linoleum floor like when I was a kid. The rhythm can only be make by a little Japanese woman. I suddenly woke up expecting to see her...
Almost any conversation I have about my Mom brings on a tear. It won't matter where I am or what I'm doing...
I was driving in the car, listening to music running an errand and something on the radio reminded me of my Mom. I started crying like a blubbering baby.
Ha, even as I write this I can feel the tears coming. It isn't necessarily sadness, I don't think. I have lots of happy memories that can keep me going for a long time. It is just that she is gone... OK, it is the meloncholy...
August 15, 2008
Japanese Origami Cranes...
There is a Japanese folk tale about making 1000 origami cranes so you may have a healthy life, marriage, wish... When my Mom was told of her situation, she started making them, not with the intention of making 1000 of them so she could survive, but to give to people who crossed her path. She gave them to friends, neighbors in her retirement complex, nurses, doctors, even people at the pharmacy. My sister told me during a previous visit,she would see her origami cranes all over the place... My Mom told each recipient that the Crane represented a long an happy life...
When I visited my Mom in July, she made a special crane for Dara. I thought it would be nice to photograph her with her own crane. It is kept in her jewelry box with its own partition...
When I visited my Mom in July, she made a special crane for Dara. I thought it would be nice to photograph her with her own crane. It is kept in her jewelry box with its own partition...
Rest in Peace...
At approximetely 4:45 p.m. CST, my Mom passed away with my Dad and one of my sisters by her side. When my phone rang minutes ago and I saw it was my other sister calling, I braced myself for the news. The inevitable has happened.
My mother passed on her own terms. With only 3 months advance notice, she never once wavered in her strength and never pitied herself. She was always concerned about how the rest of us were doing, in the face of what she was going thru. She didn't fear death and was ready to go when the time came.
Our last conversation, she expressed her last wishes for me, told me that everything would be ok and that she love me. I'm happy of our last goodbye...
My mother passed on her own terms. With only 3 months advance notice, she never once wavered in her strength and never pitied herself. She was always concerned about how the rest of us were doing, in the face of what she was going thru. She didn't fear death and was ready to go when the time came.
Our last conversation, she expressed her last wishes for me, told me that everything would be ok and that she love me. I'm happy of our last goodbye...
August 13, 2008
The Strength of a Mom...
Music | Colors Fade by Rie Sinclair
My Mom is an amazing woman. Apparently this morning, she wasn't doing well at all. She went into a bit of a panic from what I can understand. The hospice nurse was called in and it was of her opinion that my Mom was going thru similar actions of a person just before they would die. I just found out minutes ago what had happened so I called immediately. I was surprised to here my Mom so coherent as she was when she was given the phone. As I told her I loved her so much and burst out into tears, my Mom was consoling me... She said that every thing is OK and that everything is in place as she would want it.
It does make me feel so much more at ease to know that she is at peace before she herself lets go.
My Mom is an amazing woman. Apparently this morning, she wasn't doing well at all. She went into a bit of a panic from what I can understand. The hospice nurse was called in and it was of her opinion that my Mom was going thru similar actions of a person just before they would die. I just found out minutes ago what had happened so I called immediately. I was surprised to here my Mom so coherent as she was when she was given the phone. As I told her I loved her so much and burst out into tears, my Mom was consoling me... She said that every thing is OK and that everything is in place as she would want it.
It does make me feel so much more at ease to know that she is at peace before she herself lets go.
Curves, LIne and Speed
Music | The Sea by Morcheeba
It was nice to have some distraction from the end of last week into the weekend. Lots of hard work, but being fulfilled with amazing stimuli for the ears and the eyes. My first visit to the lauded race track of Laguna Seca in Monterey, CA was a lot of fun. I love cars, but the cars I saw over the weekend were true works of art. I was covering the Ferrari Challenge for a client, but was also treated to some historic car racing as well.
It was nice to have some distraction from the end of last week into the weekend. Lots of hard work, but being fulfilled with amazing stimuli for the ears and the eyes. My first visit to the lauded race track of Laguna Seca in Monterey, CA was a lot of fun. I love cars, but the cars I saw over the weekend were true works of art. I was covering the Ferrari Challenge for a client, but was also treated to some historic car racing as well.
August 01, 2008
Patience and Distraction
Music | Reel Life (Evolution II) by The Cinematic Orchestra
During my time floating, as I am still, I don't want to over look some great things that have happened over the last few months. My movements may be slow, but I've got lots that needs to get off the ground...
I found myself finding my way back to large format photography, which got me closer to Platinum Palladium printing and Wet Plate Collodian alumitypes. I found new interest in shooting more film, first 4x5 and now 21/4, which took me to the Yashica Mat124G and now to a Hasselblad that a very good friend Connie has lent me.
I may have put myself in a position of having lots of distractions for a reason, but my flame to accomplish some goals I've set for myself are strong. With other distractions going on, a job in Monterey, CA coming up along with some other odds and ends, I'm not sure when I'll be able to set some concrete to some of my goals. Feels good though to have things waiting for me...
During my time floating, as I am still, I don't want to over look some great things that have happened over the last few months. My movements may be slow, but I've got lots that needs to get off the ground...
I found myself finding my way back to large format photography, which got me closer to Platinum Palladium printing and Wet Plate Collodian alumitypes. I found new interest in shooting more film, first 4x5 and now 21/4, which took me to the Yashica Mat124G and now to a Hasselblad that a very good friend Connie has lent me.
I may have put myself in a position of having lots of distractions for a reason, but my flame to accomplish some goals I've set for myself are strong. With other distractions going on, a job in Monterey, CA coming up along with some other odds and ends, I'm not sure when I'll be able to set some concrete to some of my goals. Feels good though to have things waiting for me...
July 29, 2008
hello...
Music Heaven by Lamb
Never before have I been more aware of being in a state of grayness, than I have been for the last few weeks. I'm moving with the winds in the air, waves on the water. I know I'm floating, waiting to hear of the imminent news of my Mom's death.
At this very moment, tears well up in my eyes and roll down my cheek. I don't have a specific thought about my Mom in my head. I don't know if there is any room for anything in particular... I just sit here 2000 miles away, near midnight and think of her.
Never before have I been more aware of being in a state of grayness, than I have been for the last few weeks. I'm moving with the winds in the air, waves on the water. I know I'm floating, waiting to hear of the imminent news of my Mom's death.
At this very moment, tears well up in my eyes and roll down my cheek. I don't have a specific thought about my Mom in my head. I don't know if there is any room for anything in particular... I just sit here 2000 miles away, near midnight and think of her.
July 27, 2008
Street in Chicago...
Music | Cosy in the Rocket by Psapp
On the way to the airport on the "el". Real buildings, real street...
On the way to the airport on the "el". Real buildings, real street...
July 17, 2008
July 16, 2008
The Beauty of a Process...
Music | Beautiful Calm Driving by Sia
On this late morning, I was asked to sit for a portrait by Ray Bidegain, a local photographer who I've been getting to know for the past few months. He is as well a master Platinum | Palladium printer and quickly mastering the technique of Wet Plate Collodion, a process discovered in the early 1850's. I couldn't turn down a session to see him work.
Stepping into an artists work area is magical. I know some of Ray's work, have seen a few up close and many on the internet. But to step into the space and see works of art placed here and there, images just recently created and images that had brought inspiration from years ago tell volumes of an artist. Not only would today render a portrait of me, but again, I would also see Ray in action and I would to my surprise get the chance to create an image the way it was done over 150 years ago.
Ray managed to nail a wonderful portrait of me on his first try showing the Wet Plate Collodion process as we went along. After another exposure, he let me make a go of it, from coating my own plate, shooting and then processing. The entire process is within minutes as the coated plate (film) has to stay wet thru out the process.
Not only did was I able to see the magic, I'm quite happy with the portrait I photographed of Mr. Bidegain.
I didn't quite get the coating of the plate correct, hence the black uncoated areas of the image, but it is a one of a kind piece of art. I have to say there aren't many prints that I have that rival the beauty and depth of a Wet Plate Collodion image.
As much as I would love to dive in, I don't feel I am ready. I think there is a period one must work to get to a point to be able to create in this manner. Every step of the way is a very personal journey. I was shown the ropes, but I can also appreciate that it took Ray years to get where he is right now. At this time, I'll be in an appreciation mode.
On this late morning, I was asked to sit for a portrait by Ray Bidegain, a local photographer who I've been getting to know for the past few months. He is as well a master Platinum | Palladium printer and quickly mastering the technique of Wet Plate Collodion, a process discovered in the early 1850's. I couldn't turn down a session to see him work.
Stepping into an artists work area is magical. I know some of Ray's work, have seen a few up close and many on the internet. But to step into the space and see works of art placed here and there, images just recently created and images that had brought inspiration from years ago tell volumes of an artist. Not only would today render a portrait of me, but again, I would also see Ray in action and I would to my surprise get the chance to create an image the way it was done over 150 years ago.
Ray managed to nail a wonderful portrait of me on his first try showing the Wet Plate Collodion process as we went along. After another exposure, he let me make a go of it, from coating my own plate, shooting and then processing. The entire process is within minutes as the coated plate (film) has to stay wet thru out the process.
Not only did was I able to see the magic, I'm quite happy with the portrait I photographed of Mr. Bidegain.
I didn't quite get the coating of the plate correct, hence the black uncoated areas of the image, but it is a one of a kind piece of art. I have to say there aren't many prints that I have that rival the beauty and depth of a Wet Plate Collodion image.
As much as I would love to dive in, I don't feel I am ready. I think there is a period one must work to get to a point to be able to create in this manner. Every step of the way is a very personal journey. I was shown the ropes, but I can also appreciate that it took Ray years to get where he is right now. At this time, I'll be in an appreciation mode.
July 15, 2008
July 09, 2008
More Good Byes...
Music | Threads by David S. Ware
I'm back home from an emotional trip to the Midwest to see Mom. I'll just get right to it... I wrote late evening after my Mom's living wake...
2008-07-05
It is the night before I will never see my mother again... Every moment of the day carries the weight of a lifetime. I see sadness and pain and I feel for my mother... I see fleeting joy and happiness and know it will really be short lived... I can't bear the thought that after tomorrow, I will never see her again. We'll talk on the phone, I'll send photos, but the largest part of my own life will move on, out of this lifetime that I am apart of.
I sit hear writing, tears falling from my eyes, with my mind filled with thoughts of my mother. I'm glad that I was a part of today, with my family and some of her friends to show our love... I know she had a good day, with lots of smiles and feelings of true love.
I will miss you so much Mom. I love your with all my heart!
And yesterday at the airport while waiting for my flight...
2008-07-08
The day of departing our separate ways was bittersweet. Mom woke up early not feeling comfortable. We all knew that for me, it would be the last time I would see her. We sat outside around the front door and as the seconds to the moment to say good bye came, Mom said this would be the last time she would be here, put her face in her lap and let loose. I've never seen her cry like this, openly sobbing. The only time that came close was when she got a call from Japan to hear that her last surviving brother had just passed away. I could only follow Mom's lead, crying and trying to console her at the same time. She said that she wasn't emotional like this because she was dying, but because that she would not be around the family anymore, of being together.
I walked her to the car where she got seated and situated. I gave her one last hug, one last kiss on the cheek and told her I loved her. Dad pulled out of the drive way and moved forward to head home as Mom waved thru the open window.
I'm back home from an emotional trip to the Midwest to see Mom. I'll just get right to it... I wrote late evening after my Mom's living wake...
2008-07-05
It is the night before I will never see my mother again... Every moment of the day carries the weight of a lifetime. I see sadness and pain and I feel for my mother... I see fleeting joy and happiness and know it will really be short lived... I can't bear the thought that after tomorrow, I will never see her again. We'll talk on the phone, I'll send photos, but the largest part of my own life will move on, out of this lifetime that I am apart of.
I sit hear writing, tears falling from my eyes, with my mind filled with thoughts of my mother. I'm glad that I was a part of today, with my family and some of her friends to show our love... I know she had a good day, with lots of smiles and feelings of true love.
I will miss you so much Mom. I love your with all my heart!
And yesterday at the airport while waiting for my flight...
2008-07-08
The day of departing our separate ways was bittersweet. Mom woke up early not feeling comfortable. We all knew that for me, it would be the last time I would see her. We sat outside around the front door and as the seconds to the moment to say good bye came, Mom said this would be the last time she would be here, put her face in her lap and let loose. I've never seen her cry like this, openly sobbing. The only time that came close was when she got a call from Japan to hear that her last surviving brother had just passed away. I could only follow Mom's lead, crying and trying to console her at the same time. She said that she wasn't emotional like this because she was dying, but because that she would not be around the family anymore, of being together.
I walked her to the car where she got seated and situated. I gave her one last hug, one last kiss on the cheek and told her I loved her. Dad pulled out of the drive way and moved forward to head home as Mom waved thru the open window.
June 29, 2008
More on Mom...
Music | Who Used to Dance by Abbey Lincoln
I'm getting ready for my trip back to see my Mom in a few days, since the bad news that was brought on to us. I realized there are things that cannot wait and others things that just don't matter much at all.
I sprung to action regarding a photo that I shot of her, probably not more than 10-12 years ago when she and my Dad still lived in Chicago. Thru out her life, she has been adventurous, having competitively jumped horses, piloted glider planes and always beat the boys in running races when she was younger.
I don't remember specifically, but I'm sure during this day, we were sitting in the living room doing nothing in particular when my Mom could have just grabbed my jacket and put it on. I may have had a point and shoot in the pocket and added the sun glasses for more effect. A quick pose and a quick few snaps and here is a photo that depicts my Mom... adventurous, humorous, with a bit of spontaneity...
And btw, I do recall my Mom wanted to go to the grocery store one afternoon when I rode my motorcycle instead of driving the car. She really needed to go so she got on the back of my bike with my over sized helmet on her tiny head and we headed off. She had to be at least 70 years old at the time and never missed a beat. The looks we got were great!
I'm getting ready for my trip back to see my Mom in a few days, since the bad news that was brought on to us. I realized there are things that cannot wait and others things that just don't matter much at all.
I sprung to action regarding a photo that I shot of her, probably not more than 10-12 years ago when she and my Dad still lived in Chicago. Thru out her life, she has been adventurous, having competitively jumped horses, piloted glider planes and always beat the boys in running races when she was younger.
I don't remember specifically, but I'm sure during this day, we were sitting in the living room doing nothing in particular when my Mom could have just grabbed my jacket and put it on. I may have had a point and shoot in the pocket and added the sun glasses for more effect. A quick pose and a quick few snaps and here is a photo that depicts my Mom... adventurous, humorous, with a bit of spontaneity...
And btw, I do recall my Mom wanted to go to the grocery store one afternoon when I rode my motorcycle instead of driving the car. She really needed to go so she got on the back of my bike with my over sized helmet on her tiny head and we headed off. She had to be at least 70 years old at the time and never missed a beat. The looks we got were great!
June 26, 2008
Anticipation Revealled...
Music | Maiden Voyage by Herbie Hancock
The joy and anticipation has resulted in a few nice photographs from my own maiden voyage with the Yashica Mat 124-G. I picked up the processed film and prints from the lab and was initially a little disappointed. But as I look over the prints, images start to grow on me. I scanned these 2 photos and started to play with them in photoshop. I altered them from the original prints much more than I would have anticipated, but I like them.
I've all ready got roll 2 loaded. I hope to be more concise with my exposures as the 1st time, I was all over the place. Meter in hand with the camera, I'll shoot my 2nd roll later this week.
The joy and anticipation has resulted in a few nice photographs from my own maiden voyage with the Yashica Mat 124-G. I picked up the processed film and prints from the lab and was initially a little disappointed. But as I look over the prints, images start to grow on me. I scanned these 2 photos and started to play with them in photoshop. I altered them from the original prints much more than I would have anticipated, but I like them.
I've all ready got roll 2 loaded. I hope to be more concise with my exposures as the 1st time, I was all over the place. Meter in hand with the camera, I'll shoot my 2nd roll later this week.
June 23, 2008
Patience...
Music | Ode to Tip by Fred Anderson
I was recently the lucky beneficiary of a camera I've yearned for since I knew I was never going to get my Hasselblad back that I sold in the early 2000's. This camera has been going up and down in price, but never so low that I was able to pick one up for myself. Now, I finally have one and am in the midst of having to wait for my film to get processed and have proofs made, just like the pre digital days where I would drop my film off at Walgreens and would have to wait as much as a week to see the photos.
I dropped off my 1st roll of film to the lab earlier today and was told I had to wait until Thursday to see the fruits of my labor. In a few months, I will be processing my own film and my feedback to see what I have shot won't be so filled with the pleasant anxiety and frustration I feel now, now that I do in fact have to wait. In time... I keep telling myself that in time, I will be able to get going with what I want to start achieving right now. I have no choice but to be patient.
I was recently the lucky beneficiary of a camera I've yearned for since I knew I was never going to get my Hasselblad back that I sold in the early 2000's. This camera has been going up and down in price, but never so low that I was able to pick one up for myself. Now, I finally have one and am in the midst of having to wait for my film to get processed and have proofs made, just like the pre digital days where I would drop my film off at Walgreens and would have to wait as much as a week to see the photos.
I dropped off my 1st roll of film to the lab earlier today and was told I had to wait until Thursday to see the fruits of my labor. In a few months, I will be processing my own film and my feedback to see what I have shot won't be so filled with the pleasant anxiety and frustration I feel now, now that I do in fact have to wait. In time... I keep telling myself that in time, I will be able to get going with what I want to start achieving right now. I have no choice but to be patient.
June 18, 2008
Time...
Music | Wild is the Wind by Nina Simone
In the time it takes to have a conversation, my Mom found out she has about 4 months to live with stomach, liver and I think lung cancer. After hearing about the 4 months, I didn't really comprehend too much after that... She had seen the doctors about some back pain just a week earlier, but had another complication that turned into another visit to the doctors, that turned into tests and turned into the conversation that lead to the news of my Mom's fate. I found out thru my sister, Iris the day before I spoke with my Mom that there was some serious health issues. I called her the next day, about 2 hours before she got the news. She was upbeat, but knew she had the cancers. That evening, after her conversation with the doctor, she called me and told me the news. All the cancer, the 4 months... I was quite surprised by her demeanor in which she talked with me. She showed me strength and even some humor.
About 5 months ago, my Mother told me about a dream she recently had. Clear as yesterday, she said she saw her mother, dressed beautifully and at about the young age she had passed away. They sat together as my Grandmother spoke to her and told my Mom that right now is not the time, that she had some things to still settle and take care of. When it is time, she will know.
I brought up that conversation that she had while we had our talk that evening. I think the comfort that my Mom has from that dream has given her the strength to turn down chemo treatments and let nature take its own course. She has said she is not afraid of dying. "It is Time" and she knows her mother will be there for her.
In the time it takes to have a conversation, my Mom found out she has about 4 months to live with stomach, liver and I think lung cancer. After hearing about the 4 months, I didn't really comprehend too much after that... She had seen the doctors about some back pain just a week earlier, but had another complication that turned into another visit to the doctors, that turned into tests and turned into the conversation that lead to the news of my Mom's fate. I found out thru my sister, Iris the day before I spoke with my Mom that there was some serious health issues. I called her the next day, about 2 hours before she got the news. She was upbeat, but knew she had the cancers. That evening, after her conversation with the doctor, she called me and told me the news. All the cancer, the 4 months... I was quite surprised by her demeanor in which she talked with me. She showed me strength and even some humor.
About 5 months ago, my Mother told me about a dream she recently had. Clear as yesterday, she said she saw her mother, dressed beautifully and at about the young age she had passed away. They sat together as my Grandmother spoke to her and told my Mom that right now is not the time, that she had some things to still settle and take care of. When it is time, she will know.
I brought up that conversation that she had while we had our talk that evening. I think the comfort that my Mom has from that dream has given her the strength to turn down chemo treatments and let nature take its own course. She has said she is not afraid of dying. "It is Time" and she knows her mother will be there for her.
June 17, 2008
When Things are Wrong...
Music | Breathe Me by Sia Furler
Out of focus, blurred, head cut off, loss of shadow detail, heavy cross lighting... Geez!
What could you not love about this photo?
Out of focus, blurred, head cut off, loss of shadow detail, heavy cross lighting... Geez!
What could you not love about this photo?
June 10, 2008
Dara from another time...
Music | Once Again by Handsome Boy Modeling School
To ad to my monologue about TTV...
To ad to my monologue about TTV...
Through the Viewfinder, an Explanation
Music | Amazing by Jem
So when this technique was introduced to me by RatSpike I knew I all ready had the main tool to make this technique work for me as well. All I had to do was spend a little time creating the other elements to fit to my existing equipment. It was intriguing enough for me to want to pursue it. Little did I know there would come so many questions...
Through the Viewfinder is based on cameras similar to this one. Kodak made various versions starting in the 1940's. At the time, they used 620 format film, long out of existence. Hence, these cameras are a dime a dozen at this time, but moving up in price on ebay!
The simple idea of Through the Viewfinder is merely to use another camera and photograph the scene in the viewfinder of the Kodak. Simple...
Because the viewfinder itself is not of optical quality, all of the flaws are captured in an instant. No photoshop needed, other than normal basic adjustments like contrast, toning, etc... anything you would do to a print in the darkroom.
Now questions started to arise as I started to shoot with this device and seeing the results. Why am I so accepting to this method than say the Lens Babies or merely using photoshop? Initially, I never really did like the Lens Babies. The look that it gave looked too much like a photoshop action. Also, the idea of buying something off the shelf to create a look never was an intentional option for me. The idea that these Kodak cameras are being recycled (Very Portland...), and the idea that each one over the years have collected dust in basements, cellars, stored in boxes or displayed on shelves over as much as 60 years have earned my respect. And now they can be used again to create photos that most people cannot create even with the magic of photoshop.
Other questions are still arising as I use this archaic device, printing the files that I create from the combination. I am having battles in my head over the ethics of what I am doing. Besides having some fun creating these images, I'll let the turmoil rage on. Maybe more in the future...
So when this technique was introduced to me by RatSpike I knew I all ready had the main tool to make this technique work for me as well. All I had to do was spend a little time creating the other elements to fit to my existing equipment. It was intriguing enough for me to want to pursue it. Little did I know there would come so many questions...
Through the Viewfinder is based on cameras similar to this one. Kodak made various versions starting in the 1940's. At the time, they used 620 format film, long out of existence. Hence, these cameras are a dime a dozen at this time, but moving up in price on ebay!
The simple idea of Through the Viewfinder is merely to use another camera and photograph the scene in the viewfinder of the Kodak. Simple...
Because the viewfinder itself is not of optical quality, all of the flaws are captured in an instant. No photoshop needed, other than normal basic adjustments like contrast, toning, etc... anything you would do to a print in the darkroom.
Now questions started to arise as I started to shoot with this device and seeing the results. Why am I so accepting to this method than say the Lens Babies or merely using photoshop? Initially, I never really did like the Lens Babies. The look that it gave looked too much like a photoshop action. Also, the idea of buying something off the shelf to create a look never was an intentional option for me. The idea that these Kodak cameras are being recycled (Very Portland...), and the idea that each one over the years have collected dust in basements, cellars, stored in boxes or displayed on shelves over as much as 60 years have earned my respect. And now they can be used again to create photos that most people cannot create even with the magic of photoshop.
Other questions are still arising as I use this archaic device, printing the files that I create from the combination. I am having battles in my head over the ethics of what I am doing. Besides having some fun creating these images, I'll let the turmoil rage on. Maybe more in the future...
June 09, 2008
June 08, 2008
Music | Games Without Frontiers by Peter Gabriel
I'm very excited with a new found technique, which I will get into later. There are some major bugs to workout and lots of questions to be answered, but here is my first shot. The only doctoring I've done to this image is to convert to Black and White, crop, ad contrast and tone. Otherwise, this is straight out of camera.
I feel another series coming on...
I'm very excited with a new found technique, which I will get into later. There are some major bugs to workout and lots of questions to be answered, but here is my first shot. The only doctoring I've done to this image is to convert to Black and White, crop, ad contrast and tone. Otherwise, this is straight out of camera.
I feel another series coming on...
June 04, 2008
A Shout Out...
Music | Simple Things by Zero 7
I've been patient, not so by choice. Though I'm going at a speed where I haven't been too bothered by the length of time it takes me to get to some of my creative goals, I'm wanting to press the pace. But again, between my accomplishments this year and the goals that I have set, I'm feeling good. It isn't often where a person can say that about themselves.
I've been fortunate this year to have a lot of support around me in a creative atmosphere. Having the ability to have communication with other artists, those in similar mediums and those far from it, I've been inspired by works, words and action.
I just wanted to say thanks to those of you that have been apart of this growing period I've gone thru this year. If you've read this blog, more than likely you deserve thanks as well!
I've been patient, not so by choice. Though I'm going at a speed where I haven't been too bothered by the length of time it takes me to get to some of my creative goals, I'm wanting to press the pace. But again, between my accomplishments this year and the goals that I have set, I'm feeling good. It isn't often where a person can say that about themselves.
I've been fortunate this year to have a lot of support around me in a creative atmosphere. Having the ability to have communication with other artists, those in similar mediums and those far from it, I've been inspired by works, words and action.
I just wanted to say thanks to those of you that have been apart of this growing period I've gone thru this year. If you've read this blog, more than likely you deserve thanks as well!
June 03, 2008
The Beast
Music | Hello by Poe
So finally after years of living in a basement, dark, dank and dusty, I've pulled the 8x10 Century Camera out into daylight. It will take a really good clean as there is dust in every crevice of this, at least 60+ year old camera. I'm hoping to find more information on the camera and lens and see what history it holds. One thing of note that I really love about the lens is that the aperuture is in front of the actual lens itself. It still opens and closes smooth as silk...
In any case, first things first, a very good cleaning is in order, then down the road, some sort of stand or tripod to hold this monster up so I can point it at someone! I'm looking forward to that day!
UPDATE /2008-06-04 | I've found the camera could have been manufactured as early as 1927!
So finally after years of living in a basement, dark, dank and dusty, I've pulled the 8x10 Century Camera out into daylight. It will take a really good clean as there is dust in every crevice of this, at least 60+ year old camera. I'm hoping to find more information on the camera and lens and see what history it holds. One thing of note that I really love about the lens is that the aperuture is in front of the actual lens itself. It still opens and closes smooth as silk...
In any case, first things first, a very good cleaning is in order, then down the road, some sort of stand or tripod to hold this monster up so I can point it at someone! I'm looking forward to that day!
UPDATE /2008-06-04 | I've found the camera could have been manufactured as early as 1927!
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