January 26, 2009

Thoughts coming thru the Chaos

Music | April Grove by Martina Topley Bird

For the past 10 years, my photography has been consumed by digital. In that time, I went thru 6 different camera bodies - Unlike the Hasselblad which I used for over 15 years before I sold it. Now I wish I had it again. I think I went thru 5 computers as well, not to mention the technologies that have died off like various drives(floppy, zip, jazz), monitors and other costly upgrades...

I kept a working darkroom from 1983 to 1999... 16 years! With the various necessities I had to invest in, I also built by hand, darkroom sinks, tables, shelves, drying frames - rigged plumbing... Equipment was much more personal, was a part of me which in essence the final work felt so much more apart of me as well. I've got my high end digital printer, which is now all ready 2 generations old. I use some of the finest papers available. And though I feel I've created amazing photographic prints, I never felt the connection I had when pulling a print out of the developer or fix, or seeing the print that took over night to dry and view if for the first time in optimal light to see the subtle shadow details or creamy highlights. It took not only my hard earned artistic sensibilities, but years of achieving a level of skill - No purchasing a set of actions or filters or a box of packaged goods could suddenly create what I toiled after.

My peers have moved on, have embraced the digital realm and are making good livings. Like early in my digital career, learning and keeping up with the new and ever changing technologies was easy. Now I notice things don't come as easy and simple. I often feel like the old man who can't keep up, just comprehending the things that are even basic is difficult.

I'm finding it harder and harder to find the truth, my center. Photography, my salvation, my passion - I'm finding it hasn't been consoling for me. I am proud of the fact that I have been creating, shooting more in the last few years than I have ever before... I've created some photos that I am very proud of. But with this digital process, I know as well that some of my finest work aren't photographs... They are pixels on a screen. The are in essence, nothing. I've been more keen to photography that is nothing... I still manage to get feedback on them, but if all we have of the images is nothing, is there a point?

I'm not a child of pixels and bytes, zeroes and ones... Maybe that is why I am feeling so displaced...

January 21, 2009


Music | The Songs That We Sing by Charlotte Gainsbourg

A word I heard today...


[muh-lif-loo-uhs] Show IPA Pronunciation
1. sweetly or smoothly flowing; sweet-sounding: a mellifluous voice; mellifluous tones.
2. flowing with honey; sweetened with or as if with honey.

January 04, 2009

Sweet Home Bar and Grill

Music | Dinner Music for a Pack of Hun by Kronos Quartet

Paddy Daddy and I (HambahgaStakee) have struck again and posted another review for Portland Hamburgers. Paddy Daddy noticed on their weekly changing specials board a 1 pound cheeseburger with fries and trimmings for around $9. Sounds like a challenge...

Paddy Daddy managed to clean his plate and I ended up leaving some fries and a quarter of the burger, which I ended up bringing home... I couldn't stand the idea of trashing a quarter pound of food...

Updated : Here is the review.

January 01, 2009

Following the Crow and Moving Forward

Music | Impressions by John Coltrane

I'm lucky to be able to have some commissions where both subject and I want to move beyond more traditional means of the photographer, subject relationship. Though we did run thru a series of situations where the end result was going to be a beauty shot, we also were led towards a more dark series. I love the idea of capturing just line and form created with only shadows and small amounts of light - No detail... As if out of a dream sequence only the vague ultimate message becomes apparent and leaves with you the responsibility to decipher it if you so choose.

I'm also happy to present these images as this day, the New Year, brings about new work. I'd like to follow this path and see where it takes me. I was fortunate to have received a note from a fellow artist to tell me that she is seeing a progression of work that has grown in the past year. I feel somewhat validated that one of my peers has noticed this as it was a year ago that I decided to go down this road to be more expressive and not be so afraid to create for the sake of creating. Though I feel that I haven't molded a style that is of my own soul, I know I'm moving, slowly as it may be, towards that as one of my ultimate goals... There is still plenty of fear to fight thru, but I've got a year under my belt and I've at least have some knowledge how to sometimes conteract that fear.

Hope you all have a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year...
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