December 31, 2016

2016

Music | Hollywood by Rufus and Chaka Khan

2016 has brought on so many changes, firsts, surprises, reflection... and some heartache too.

This is the year that probably added years to my health and life with the diagnoses of having diabetes. With help from great friends and this community, I've managed to make some changes in my daily habits to try and control this altering disease, with positive results. Thank you.

With all the things happening this year, different and new, my general view of things has shifted. I found out his year that the people on television are no longer in my age bracket. It was pointed out to me that they are at least a generation apart! WTF! Middle age, a decade away from for some folks, an elder. With that, and with some forced grace, I am my Father, my Mother and from when I was younger, all of the people who were older than me. With the responsibility of being a good person and role model, I am moving straight ahead to enjoy what life has to offer with more lust and vigor.

2016 is the year that I met my sweetheart, Vicky Chamberlain, who has showed me miracles can still happen, when the idea of having a commited relationship has long disappeared from hope. I love you and thank you.

Another year gone by... I wish for all of you, enlightenment and a life prospering future.

Peace...

September 09, 2016

Facebook

Music | Dusk You and Me by Groove Armada

I've been dumped by Facebook again. 3 days. I think it is fucked up how they allow you to read and still get all the bullshit advertising, but cannot post. I opted to deactivate my account during my sentence, which has again been a good thing. Happened a few times before and I always feel more participitory with my daily life. A good thing...

My crime was again, a breast. 2 breasts this time as I remember the last time it was only one. I still get the same sentence though. The thing about this time was I posted a link to this blog. My last entry. It used to be that FB allowed you to choose which image from that blog would accompany the link. I did not get that option this time, so I just went with the flow.

Fuck you to Facebook and the person who reported it.

September 08, 2016

Wet Plate Collodion - 2 Plates

Music | Hal's Blues by World Saxophone Quartet


Adriana 4x5 Tintype


Ivy 4x5 Tintype


August 19, 2016

Sometimes Passion Wins Out...

Music | Days to Come by Bonobo

It was so logical to sell the 1983 Volvo Wagon with over 300,000 miles. Manual windows, no AC, a seriously wore out drivers seat, and refinements that were 30 years old... The Subaru... everything works, auto everything, a moon roof to die for, AC, decent gas mileage... However, the Volvo is just more me. It makes me work, it makes know that I am driving a unique vehicle unlike any other car I have driven. It has personality, soul. So I switched vehicles on Craigslist after a week and the Subi sold the next day. To show you how the Volvo has personality, I found it needs a new clutch. No doubt a statement for putting it up for sale in the first place.

July 25, 2016

The Moment...

Music | As the Rush Comes by Motorcycle

As I finish processing some sheet film, they are in the dryer right now, I am reminded of the days when I was learning how to develop my own film in college. The excitement that built up when pulling the reels out of the tank after the fix to see if there was an image was always there. This was the moment that brought me back to the very first time... I still get that excitement!

Before that, the anticipation came from dropping off your film to the camera or drug store. Back then, 1 week to 10 days turn around time was the norm. And black and white always took longer because maybe they hand processed those. I can remember still at the register paying for the photos I had all ready started to go thru them. 2 piles... winners and really bad ones.

I am thinking that some moments you have to pay for, whether that be monetary or with time and effort. I get not nearly the satisfaction of opening files on the computer, manipulate and save... Where is the joy? Immediacy was supposed to be a good thing, but I am just not so sure...

July 09, 2016

Being Put in My Place...

Music | Leave Me Alone by Natalie Imbruglia

In times where we expect most things to come immediately, there are things that take time, make you work and force you to have patience. It is also these things that give us the most satisfaction. My pursuit with Platinum Palladium has certainly taken time even to get to the point where I am. I have no judgement as to the speed at which I have gotten to where I am now, because I feel the learning process to be invaluable.

Yesterday, I spent a solid 8 hours learning about curves when making digital negatives. I can say I only have a remedial understanding, but know so much more than I did the other day. Manipulating the curve will be another whole new ballgame. The increments are small, but I hope to keep building the knowledge base.

July 08, 2016

Sanity, Consciousnes, Unconsciousness...

Music | Play by Funk

I know that one of the huge effects for me to be and stay creative is the health of my sanity. It may work as distraction to the realities of my life, but at this point, I roll with it. I feel positive, I have short term goals that I need to accomplish, which often feeds my endorphins to keep positive. I have in a rudimentary way, figured out how to quickly move out of creative blocks or times of getting depressed. I know that I have been on this wave for several years. I hope to continue til I move on...

Phanthia and I are back on track with working with each other again. We go on runs for several months, then more than several months of not working with each other. I've found in many matters of life, things like this just fall into place and it turns out to be a very good work flow. This time with Phanthia, it was 11 months ago since we shot last...

Without consciously thinking about details, it has occurred to me that if I let things go with the flow for the most part, things fall into place and for quite sometime, mostly in a very positive manner. I'd like to think that I've allowed my unconscious self be my guide. In any case, whether if it is my mind that is slowly decaying, which I really do think is happening, I've lately often let intuition take its course.

Yesterday, Phanthia and I went to Sauvie Island. I had scouted with Susan de Witt about 3 weeks ago and found a great trail to do some images. Of course I hadn't thought of the sheer weight of carrying about the Burke and James, besides the Majestic Tripod. Terrain is such that I wouldn't be able to use the wheeled carrier either. Quickly deciding that I wouldn't even try, I found another location, walking distance from truck to the spot where the camera would be and just easy access all the way around.


Phanthia wearing wardrobe by Elizabeth Rohloff. Sauvie Island

I find evidence in my images, my thought process after the image was taken, was often based on good decisions. The thing is, I don't make those decisions consciously. I remember the only time I made a decision about this image that I at least remember, is that I wanted to raise the camera to where the line of trees in the background didn't intersect with the top of Phanthia's head. Everything else seemed to fall into place...

No reason to try and find an answer to the way things have been going. As I said before, I'm on a great run and hope to continue...

Sanity, Consciousnes, Unconsciousness...

Music | Play by Funk

I know that one of the huge affects for me to be and stay creative is the health of my sanity. It may work as distraction to the realities of my life, but at this point, I roll with it. I feel positive, I have short term goals that I need to accomplish, which often feeds my endorphins to keep positive. I have in a rudimentary way, figured out how to quickly move out of creative blocks or times of getting depressed. I know that I have been on this wave for several years. I hope to continue til I move on...

Phanthia and I are back on track with working with each other again. We go on runs for several months, then more than several months of not working with each other. I've found in many matters of life, things like this just fall into place and it turns out to be a very good work flow. This time with Phanthia, it was 11 months ago since we shot last...

Without consciously thinking about details, it has occurred to me that if I let things go with the flow for the most part, things fall into place and for quite sometime, mostly in a very positive manner. I'd like to think that I've allowed my unconscious self be my guide. In any case, whether if it is my mind that is slowly decaying, which I really do think is happening, I've lately often let intuition take its course.

Yesterday, Phanthia and I went to Sauvie Island. I had scouted with Susan de Witt about 3 weeks ago and found a great trail to do some images. Of course I hadn't thought of the sheer weight of carrying about the Burke and James, besides the Majestic Tripod. Terrain is such that I wouldn't be able to use the wheeled carrier either. Quickly deciding that I wouldn't even try, I found another location, walking distance from truck to the spot where the camera would be and just easy access all the way around.


Phanthia wearing wardrobe by Elizabeth Rohloff. Sauvie Island

I find evidence in my images, my thought process after the image was taken, was often based on good decisions. The thing is, I don't make those decisions consciously. I remember the only time I made a decision about this image that I at least remember, is that I wanted to raise the camera to where the line of trees in the background didn't intersect with the top of Phanthia's head. Everything else seemed to fall into place...

July 01, 2016

Your Daily Photograph

Music | A Love Supreme by John Coltrane

I cannot tell you how honored I am to be a part of the Duncan Miller Gallery's, Your Daily Photograph. Once each morning, you get an email to receive the opportunity to view and purchase photographs from amazing photographers. I was selected by guest curator, Luther Gerlach. He works in various alternative methods of photography along with shooting with Ultra Large Format cameras. If you are not all ready familiar with the links above, I highly recommend you checking them out.


Your Daily Photograph, edition July 1, 2016
Irish W/ Floral Headpiece | 4x5 Platinum Palladium Print

June 17, 2016

Platinum Palladium Papers

Music | No Ordinary Love by Sade

I was generously offered some paper by Hahnemühle to test with Platinum Palladium. I started out using Bergger Cot 320, then Arches Platine, which I found very similar with my very basic tests. Both render nice tonalities, but I found trying to decipher a wet print to dry to be difficult. Experience over time I am sure would solve that. I've made beautiful prints with both papers, but I am still looking for a base to get to consistency.

The Hahnemühle Platinum coats just fine and used the same amount of solution as the above. However, I think the spread goes on easier. I had no problem getting an even coat, at the edges as well. Exposure wise, I started with 8 minutes as with the Cot 320 and Platine. The nice difference with the Platinum is that I get more latitude at both ends. Slightly darker blacks and lighter highlights, still holding details. Dry down is a bit more accurate and to see less flattening in contrast is very nice.

This was my first print with the Platinum and at this point, I know well enough that the variables can change things in an instant. However, with price point being relatively the same as Cot 320, the Platinum would be an excellent choice in my relative fledgling opinion.


8x10 Platinum Palladium Print

June 16, 2016

Processing an 8x10 Platinum Palladium Print

Music | Everloving by Moby

Chemical processing always amazes me...

https://vimeo.com/171020540

June 11, 2016

Progression

Music | Into the Wind by Trafik

The moment happened earlier today. Having shot some 8x10 film last Tuesday, processed film yesterday, today was my chance to test more Platinum Palladium for printing. Surprisingly, I came very close for exposure for the small test print off the bat. I was elated to see the tonality throughout the print. Quite excited, I went and tried my first full frame 8x10 Platinum Palladium print. It is still wet, but as the image jumped off the page after pouring the developer, I cannot express how elated I am...


Adriana wearing a Françoise Weeks original.

May 31, 2016

Maintenance...

Music | The Phonograph by Her Space Holiday

Our Big Pictures Portland project has only been up for a little less than 2 months. All ready, some of the posters where coming down in a bad way. I had anticipated this as we were putting them up as there was no doubt I had mixed the paste incorrectly. I saw some pealing at the upper edges only after 3 weeks. As the weeks went by, more pealing and I could see them coming down quickly.

Sunday was a nice overcast cool day to put in a few hours to mend the images. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to save 2, but the others were basic. Armed with fresh and correctly mixed paste, a couple buckets of water, roller, various brushes and ladder, the late morning early afternoon session was cathartic. Seeing the images again as intended put new spirit in both themselves and myself. I probably would have let them finish the their disintegration, but I knew they didn't get a fair shake. The bad paste we originally used cut short their life span, so I wanted to see what I could do. It was an excellent learning experience for future hangings...












May 10, 2016

More Hands On...

Music | Clair De Lune by Michael Dulin

A print doesn't seem complete when it isn't mounted and matted. I've always preferred the follow through of execution when displaying or even just showing prints. The least thing we can do when showing prints is to have a good amount of space around the image to remove as much distraction as possible.

Now that I am printing more, the vocabulary of mats, beveled edges, razors are back in the fold. I just went to the art store to buy some linen tape. I m starting to prepare to mount and mat some of the images I've recently printed. All of the things that was since a pain in the ass to do back in the day, I am actually looking forward to doing. Time will actually be used to physically create or change my world, as opposed to working in the virtual world.

Pats on Your Back You don't Really Feel...

Music | Thinking About Tomorrow by Beth Orton

There are relationships in the photography realm I have that are person to person, internet related, and modern versions of pen pals. Of course nothing beats meeting face to face and having real conversations, in a café, over drinks or dinner. I have 2 relationships over the internet where we converse mostly over texts or type written message services. And on occasion, we sometimes talk on the phone. Our communications are often focused and on topic of mostly photography. The internet relationships are via facebook and other interest communities. This, ironically is where most of my time is spent, where more bandwidth is used up and so much interactions occur, nothing really has any meaning.

I cannot deny Facebook is an outlet for a lot of my work. I get those likes and occasional comment, but the lasting power for any meaning is not there. Yet, I go on...

Today, one of my pen pal relationship friends who lives in NYC called. Janusz was aware of my work and it so happened we photographed the same model. He reached out over the Internet, we started a dialogue and mutual respect formed. He has since been a great supporter of mine through words and donations of film, Polaroid and other photographic materials that I use to this day. Maybe 2 to 4 times a year, we actually talk. We both have this understanding that smiley faces and thumbs up don't mean a whole lot and it is better left to say nothing than to emoticon our way to express ourselves.

The interesting thing that stuck with me with what he said today was that it is so much more meaningful to meet face to face and show our latest work, prints, than to watch the screen and see the numerous images fly by. The power of words and expression is unmatched and to try and add an emoticon to express what we feel is almost an insult. He said this because sometimes we do get lost and forget how important face to face is. It certainly doesn't happen as much as it used to... We have been so immediately connected that we no longer see the forest for the trees.

May 07, 2016

The Process of Passion

Music | Manhatta by Cinematic Orchestra

I haven't been on a more pointed and direct path in a long time. I think it means more to me now as I am aware of where I am and how the fact that I am moving. It has been about 7 years since I started to learn the process of Wet Plate Collodion. Besides the occasional traipsing of shooting film, which at that time seemed more like a novelty, it was the first time I was learning something of substance in photography in decades. I don't mean to discount the digital process, but for me, there is very little substance to walk on as far as the process went. The sublities are measured in numbers, not touch, not intuition, not emotion.

I was talking to a fellow photographer, Ray Bidegain, a Platinum Palladium printer years ago. It was a time I wanted to start shooting large format film as an antithesis to the digital process, which I worked in heavy since 1999. He had started printing Platinum Palladium around 1999 and never made the transition to digital. I remember a conversation I had with him and he told me, everyday, he makes at least one print a day. As an artist, it was important and his job to do so. That thought has always stuck with me that he took his work so seriously. It was a part of his life and as an artist. Since my turn away from digital as a main resource, at a time where I think I started to develope as an artist myself, that concept has held strong in my mind.

I've been wanting to initially have an image of mine printed in the Platinum Palladium process for over 30 years. Ever since I went and saw my first Irving Penn exhibition at the Art Institute in Chicago. I was in college at the time and ate up everything photography. Of course there is no comparison in seeing an actual print, but more often than not, book reproductions had to suffice. Over time, the general feel and look and spirit of a Platinum Palladium print by osmosis embedded my brain. I know that in the back of my mind, everything I did in black and white was affected. The hold was strong and I felt no reason to deny it. I think it is funny that as digital took the stronghold in the industry, it never to this day has created its own. Digital is all about mimicking.

Back in the day, I wanted a motorcycle. So before I got a motorcycle, I bought a helmet. Having that object in front of me kept the idea of one day getting a motorcycle very strong and always in front of me. A few short months later, I had my motorcycle. About a year ago, after having done some research, I spent $40 on a paint brush. It was no ordinary brush, it was dubbed the Magic Brush, The Richeson 9010. This was the object that would keep Platinum Palladium printing in front of my face and remind me to keep striving to get to the point where I would one day print my own. A few short months later, I was able to purchase my set of chemicals and paper and start my journey.

During that time, I had my light source remade/reinforced. Changed out the electrics of 12 tubes, stained the exterior and made something to be proud to work with. I moved my workspace around with a workflow in mind where I could make my prints. I managed to do everything, except to start printing...

Around 6 months ago, I had Susan de Witt go thru the motions for me and show me her work flow. During the process, we made a print of one of my images. As much as I was hooked, I was more afraid the screw up and waste the pricey chemicals and paper. I did nothing to move forward...

3 weeks ago, I went to Susan's place again and we went thru the process. Another print made, but this time, something clicked. The thought that in order to learn, one has to fuck up. Once I accepted that, with blowing my investment of chems and paper, I could move forward. My big test was not at Susan's where I made my own print, but solo, with my light source, in my workspace.

3 weeks have gone by since making that last Platinum Palldium print at Susan's. I went from an initial high to dropping down to ground zero and a little below that. This last week has rendered me with 3 really nice images. I don't have a lock on this process, but I am feeling really good about it. I have gotten to the point where I want to print something new everyday.

The feeling of having one of my own images as a Platinum Palldium print is so amazing to me. And even more amazing is that I can do it myself now...

May 05, 2016

A Finished Print

Music | Crescent by John Coltrane

I've worked a consistent 3 weeks learning the Platinum Palladium process using digital negatives. It wasn't so much the Pt/Pd process that I was having difficulty with, but the making of a digital neg. Between setting up my print preferences and having ink clogging issues, I was set back a good week. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. These set backs were initially very frustrating, but after realizing it is part of the process that I finally just went with the flow. I made 3 good negatives and made 3 very nice prints.

Earlier, I cut a mat, placed one of the prints behind it... With full realization, as the mat and print came together, the small adjustments I made to center the print, this moment was the ultimate reason I wanted to learn the process. I knew that this moment was special.





May 04, 2016

Break Through!

Music | Earthquake Weather by Beck

I may have turned a corner today. Even with more printer issues for the digital negatives, I am for the second time getting consistent results with the digital negatives and a consistent time for exposures over 3 different images. Now I know it is a matter of repetition for me to have this information and process ingrained in my head. Either that or I need to take really good notes!


First outdoor nude in the woods. Thanks Anna S."

April 29, 2016

Trouble Shooting...

Music | I Remember You by Johnny Griffin

So since I tried to make final adjustments in my printing preferences for the digital negs, I can't print a decent Pt/Pd print. It is no doubt that I did a decent print before I made all the changes that was written in the manual. So... I will try and go back to where I was and start over. Good news is that my actual film negatives print out very nicely. The boost in creating a great looking test print is huge for my confidence. I feel like I am moving in a positive direction.

The issue I am having with the digital negs is that my prints came out too thin, then after a second adjustment, lacking contrast. I figured my chemical profile is fine since I can make a great film neg print, so I will go after the printing of the digital neg...

April 27, 2016

Corded Drills!

Music | Province by TV on the Radio

I can only go with the flow. I was hoping to get home and start printing, but I accidentally left my light source on over night. The heat generated so much in the box and melted the glue holding my tubes in place. Just as I was about to stick the contact frame into the box, I see 4 tubes have fallen. I figured out a simple and effective fix, but my cordless drill has lost its power... Now I wait for the battery to recharge. Meanwhile, I have nothing to do but write about it...

Progress...

2 steps forward and 1 or 2 backwards. I imagine this is a good way to learn as I am not going to get ahead of myself. I'm still working out the Platinum Palladium printing, of which I am still having a hard time judging exposure, but also, the digital negative aspect of the process. My first go around actually went well rendering a nice Pt/Pd print as well as my second and third. I wanted to lock down my printing preferences and went thru the steps to set it all back up. I tried a "quick" print yesterday only to find that the neg was too thin. I know I made some changes from the previous version I did, but only more accurate to the initial instructions. Needless to say I will recheck the preferences and try another print. I'm only hoping that this process will give me a better understanding of the tasks.

These last 2 weeks have been enlightening. Progress is a desire now, more so than in a long time. Unlike Wet Plate Collodion, Platinum Palladium printing is making more sense to me. The progression is linear and I can find my way back on track with a bit more ease. I'm not saying I suspect the road to be easy, but I'm feeling more confident so far. Can't wait to get back at it later today.

April 21, 2016

Refining the Process

Music | Controversy by Prince

A sad day today... Prince, it was reported passed away earlier. No details as of yet. I have my itunes playing everything Prince.

On a 180º sentiment, today is my second day going solo with the Platinum Palladium printing. I am a much more harsher a critic today than I was 2 days ago. I'm on a second round printing the same 2 images I printed the other day. They are visually getting better. I am pleased to see a marked difference.



April 18, 2016

Milestones...

Music | Underwater Love by Jerome Isma-Ae

Knowing I can make a Platinum Palladium print at my place and solo is huge. I know I am merely going thru the motions right now, and that actually learning the process will take years, but this is a great start for me. I'm very excited at the notion of learning another alternative process.


Platinum Palladium test print

April 13, 2016

Round 2... Platinum Palladium

Music | Breathe by Telepopmusik

I had another mini workshop with Susan de Witt to learn some technique to print Platinum Palladium. I was in a much better head space this time as I have been sitting on chemicals here at home with paper and images to print. Now that I think about it, I was in this same position the first time Susan taught me, but this time, things made much more sense. I had pre-cut my Bergger Cot 320 for 4x5 inch negs, but only brought 8x10 inch negs... I ended up going with the flow and came up with this...


I'm totally elated with the test print. I'm still a bit intimidated as this went too easy. First try and an educated guess on exposure and pretty much nailed it.

Oh How I Have Missed You...

Music | Bario Alto by Thievery Corporation

When we were introduced, I immediately fell in love with you. I was committed to be with you from day one. It took a long courtship of 2 years before you kindly submitted to me. I had my way with you for several years after that. Never once did I ever take what we had for granted. You had a way of keeping me on my toes and constantly kept things interesting.

After our 3rd year together, I felt like I lost you. I did lose you. You gave me nothing but frustration and only on small occasions did you make me feel just barely comfortable. You came back to me for only a few months, then left me entirely for close to a year. I came close to just giving up and moving on. I actually did move on, starting relationships that I have become quite fond of and will explore...

But today, today you've come back with some assurances. I haven't nor will I ever figure out why you did what you did, but I am so happy we are together again. You know I've fought the good fight for you, so I hope you know I am committed. I am never myself when you are not there. Oh dear, how I have missed you...


My second successful plate after almost a year of having major issues with Wet Plate Collodion. You can't imagine how much I have missed working this technique. Oh how I have missed you...

April 12, 2016

10 Big Pictures

Music | Soul Junction by John Coltrane

On April 3rd, our 10 Big Pictures 1 Little Reception took place...

This is the 2nd year Susan de Witt and I have hung our photographs on the St. Johns Coffee Roasters exterior walls. Last years project worked as intended which was to collaborate with someone and get me out of my stalled creativity...


After printing our 3x5.5 foot images, pre planning our layout got our collaboration going...


The wall and what was left over from our first go around over a year ago...


Susan's image from over 14 months. I love the degrading edges and the textures that has survived time.


Our first image pasted on the wall. I made an error in the paste recipe and it layed on opaque. We had to sponge bath the entire print with water to dilute the paste to save it. Mop and Glow floor wax went over the image next and saved the project.


The wind was not at all helpful, but the rest of the images slowly went up. Fantastic helper and model, Billy (second image from the top left) and Susan putting up number 8.


Prepping the wall for number 10...


Twilight


Details...


Detail of Irish...


Detail of Susan's Boots


Susan and I and our first guest, Ray Bidegain for our Little Reception...


In full swing...

Thanks to Susan de Witt again for this years installment. Thanks to St. Johns Coffee Roasters for supporting public outdoor art and the great drinks served daily! All of our supporters and viewers, thank you!

April 10, 2016

Taking My Own Advice

Music | Lonely One by Johnny Griffin

I was just giving advice to a fellow photographer about doing whatever is necessary to get the work done. She had issues of not being able to print at home because of the lack of darkroom space. Rental darkroom was fine, but the per hour cost made her insane because she kept looking at the clock...

The fact anyone is doing actual wet darkroom work is a sacrifice. I don't know but just 2 photographers that have dedicated darkrooms. These days, it is a luxury. Space and cost are the big issues, especially now here in Portland where rents seemed to have tripled in just the span of 3 years.

So said photographer has an enlarger in her bedroom, in a small apartment. She would only be able to print at night because of light issues. There is a bathroom and kitchen, so running water is not an issue. If we choose to work and create where we have to make sacrifices and extra work, we either do or don't. If we don't, suddenly months, years go by and the regret comes flooding in.

I've been stagnant for sometime, though I've found great rental studios to shoot in, relatively inexpensive. But every shoot is not a situation where I can dish out cash to use space. I have for years, shot in my living room and blacked out the bathroom to process my wet plates. What often holds me back is the idea of having to set up the darkroom before the shoot, then tear it down when I am done. The same as the studio. Pulling out the Speedos, heads, stands, backdrop, etc... often just makes me hold it off for another day and a month goes by.

I've always have been pretty good about using what I have available to me and move forward with the work. I am lucky in that I have alternative means to do what I want to do. I think how easy how my situation could change which would lead to things being so much more difficult than they are now.

Ass in gear, lets go...

March 16, 2016

Imperfection...

Music | This Must Be the Place by Talking Heads

It isn't that I don't want to master the things I undertake, specifically in photography, but I am taking an appreciation for the flaws that come out of doing things in a non digital manner. Of course I want even development across the film plane, no dust, no fixer stains...

Looking at this image, and its inherent issues, I love it for what it is, but also that it shows that no, this is not a digital image. It was created with lots of time and love. Going thru its iterations of a blank canvas, to a latent image, development, fixer and wash... When going thru these stages, I am on top of my game as best as I know how. I care about each and every step I take with this piece of film... to make the image.


Hoop Skirt

I want wabi sabi. I like distinction. I want soul.

February 21, 2016

Building an Ultra Large Format Camera


Music | Honey by Moby

Lately, there have been a good amount of posts of people who are making ULF cameras, anything larger than an 8x10. It never occurred to me that maybe I could build one as I felt it was way out of my skill level. Not only that, cost for film is just outrageous and how would I ever be able to process a 16x20 or 20x24 sheet? But with the thought of paper negatives, X-ray film and Direct Positive Paper, the idea of being able to create native images Big is turning my head and the idea is intriguing me more.

I am starting to realize I don't need a fully functioning camera in the traditional sense. I won't be shooting wide ranging subject matter of landscapes to close ups, but more simply, 1/2 to 3/4 shots of a body. One of the hardest parts of building such a camera would be eliminated, knowing what it will be used for. I will have to figure out what lense I will be using and factor the general distance I will be shooting from the subject. I can make a no bellows sliding box camera..

At this point, I am thinking in totally a naive perspective. In due time, I'll do some homework and see how feasible this idea is to construct. I have to admit, shooting 16x20 or even 11x14 is an exciting thought!

February 09, 2016

Marie

Music | Crescent by John Coltrane


Marie | 8x10

February 07, 2016

Slow Down!

Music | The Crossing by The World Saxophone Quartet

With deadlines still more than 5 months out, the Big Project I am working on with Françoise Weeks has put undo pressure on my psyche. Our shoot before today especially felt stressful to me, even though everything was pretty much figured out in advance. We had great models, I had an assistant, we had plenty of time in the studio. Yet, I realized even during that shoot, I wasn't as relaxed, or I just felt a gnawing that pestered me through most of our time.

I've gotten better at figuring out what it could be if something gets me in this mindset. I decided that like in my previous post, I needed to breathe. I was getting so caught up in the project that I forgot to just have fun. Take 3 steps back and then start over.

This shoot Françoise and I did earlier today, though quickly put together, I went back to basics. Work the grey area and make it simple. I realized on the previous shoot, I was working in extreme mode. I made things way more difficult than they needed to be. This time, one light, mostly head shots and little changes. I switched from the dslr to 8x10, screwed up a sheet, but let it slide. I thought to myself at least I realized the mistake.

I often go back to a series of portraits I did at a café I frequented called Madrona Hill. This was back in maybe 2003. I think of that series that jump started me back into being creative. One camera, one lens and natural light. Check it out. It is a short but good read.

That was my inspiration to get back home. Today was a great shoot...


Marie wearing a Françoise Weeks Original"

February 02, 2016

Progess

Music | To Build a Home (Radio Version) by Cinematic Orchestra

39 prints. I get to frame them now! Oh boy!


Hand stamped and signed

1 of 20

Music | Hindsight by DJ Shadow

It is 12:45 a.m. I am in the midst of opening 20 files and making prints for the Freedom Fighters presentation and reception that will be happening in a little over 2 weeks. With huge printing problems earlier, I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to fix or have an alternative ready to go. In all, 39 prints of portraits will be made and framed.

It appears the printing is going well (knock wood) with a streamlined process in place. I'm breezing through the first 20 and should be done soon.

I love these late night productive moments.

February 01, 2016

What is Beautiful...

Music | Resolution by Thievery Corporation

I'm sitting here wondering what to write because this image is having an enveloping play with my brain. I often get to a point where I know if I think about it hard enough, I will be able to verbalize some nuances of my thoughts. Sometimes, I don't care and admire it and let it go. It is a beautiful image for right now, just for the sake of beauty.


This is Beautiful...

I don't always have the need to express in words what I feel. I don't have art speak on my mind hardly ever anyway. I've been told that is important to be able to speak about your work. I have enough of a hard time to even come up with an artist statement, let alone talk about specific work and how it relates to me. I am working on it though.

Today, I don't give a fuck. I post this image out into the world because I feel like it.

Fuck you.

January 27, 2016

Breathe

Music | Intergalactic by Beastie Boys


I've been shooting more 8x10 recently than ever before. Along with the idea that the more we know, the more we know nothing, I've taken to bowing down and shooting this large format like a true beginner. I had a shoot yesterday with the Burke and James and while going through the motions, I felt like I had to move double time to catch up on my ignorance. I am sure my collaborators there at the time would agree. I've noticed most of the time I shoot 8x10, I am not relaxed and hence, I probably miss a lot what this particular experience is trying to say.





Gotta break it down and learn to breathe!

It Never Ends...

Music | Blue Friday by Kenny Dorham

The more you know, the more you know you have so much to learn... I just heard that earlier today at the café. How true, how true... Photography has been an intimate part of me for more than half my life. Lots of time, knowledge, mistakes... Adventures, more knowledge, not just technical, but the life lessons that have come along the way as well. I can say from the deepest part of my heart, it is a craft that I know more than most people. Some of that knowledge is automatic, like loading a Hasselblad film back, or putting a 30 year old light meter in my hand and know exactly how to use it like I was using it yesterday. Innate knowledge learned through repetition.

As I move thru the years and hopefully more profoundly with photography, on occasion I have epiphanies. I have learned we exploit what we know because we know by this time we do it well. I also have figured out that it is easy to rest on laurels and stay on the same course if I am not careful. I have been fortunate enough to move thru a diverse array of processes and technologies. I know it is easy to get caught up in the technical, forgoing for whatever reason not pushing forward artistically.

I have moved from my early days working with film, then digital, then shifting back to film, and now processes from the mid 1800's, going in the opposite direction of the modern. 4x5, 8x10, antiquated processes, hands on. Those are merely tools, a way to a final image. It has taken me all these years to get to where I am, and I am only now thinking of not the process, but the image. I've gotten good at conveying the obvious, but now comes the hard part... Convey ideas in between the lines...

Sometimes I feel like all the time that has passed, I should be there and not here. It is relative, and these years did do good in teaching me we move at our own speed and the lessons come when they do. All this knowledge and so far to go...

January 22, 2016

I'm Only Happy when it Rains

Music | 6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps

I started a late night print run, wanting to get a nice print to gift to Epson, who has for the 4th year in a row donated ink and paper. This year, I shot 39 portraits over 2 days during the Roosevelt High School Freedom Fighters Event, where the Freshman class prepare, interview, write about and publish their own book about their experiences with the Freedom Fighters, who are championing the causes of Social Justice. A traveling exhibition also accompany the student's efforts. I've got about 3 weeks to print and frame those 39 portraits for display at the reception and then presented to each of the Freedom Fighters who were apart of this years festivities.

This gesture to Epson is to thank them for making my part much more special than just having images on screen. The framed prints as gifts to the participants has become tradition and I feel only more honored to be able to make substance these images to put out into the world.

After more than 5 weeks of inactivity because of major printer issues, I finally got it working proper and was able to make a few positive test runs. Epson is about great printers, colour and black and white. Each year I make a print to give them as a small token of my appreciation. In the past, the framed prints were black and white. Having recently shot with Françoise Weeks, creating quite a few stunning colour images, I had this one in mind. A few last minute test runs and one head clean, a beautiful print rolled out, stamped, signed then framed. I will with great pride hand over this image and feel I gave back something of rare beauty...



As I write about this evening, it clicks in at 1:11 a.m. While cleaning the glass and positioning the print in the mat, I felt a sense of euphoria. While the world sleeps, I'm down in the basement in my work space creating art. I know I am a lucky soul to be able to do what I get to do. I have much to appreciate...


January 10, 2016

If I were a Woman...

Music | Le Chat du Café Des Artiste by Charlotte Gainsbourg

I would be a better Photographer...

Sarah Moon

It lights me up to watch this video of Sarah Moon's images, hearing her words. I feel a direct connection, and yet, feel so disconnected.

January 06, 2016

Muscle Memory

Music | Three on Two (Live) by Fred Anderson

It has been years since I processed roll film. I remember back at Loop Jr. College, where I took my first photography class with Ms. Jensen, she had us learn to load our film on to the more difficult stainless steel reels and tanks. I think her thought was, plastic was for amateurs! I always appreciated that as when I started to work as an apprentice to professional photographers, I fit right into any darkroom I encountered. I cannot fathom the thought of how many rolls of film I have processed, but of course as the digital technology took over, my exercise in developing film increasingly lessoned to nothing for years! Only on the rare occasions after 1999 where I wanted to entertain the past did I shoot a roll of 35mm or 120 film.

A little less than a year ago, I purchased a 1958 Yashica Mat LM. Dara started the roll over the summer, but never finished shooting it. Having the desire to shoot with that camera, I finished off the roll earlier today and processed this evening. I was surprised at how without much thought, how I separated the paper and film from the 120 roll. With just a minor hesitation, I slipped the paper end of the film onto the clip of the reel and with an ever so gentle bend, started to wind the film onto the reel. Several thousand times I went through those exact same motions. It was as if I was put back into the late 80's in either my own darkroom or of a photographer who I freelanced for to process film shot from a Hasselblad, Canon or Nikon...


Ms. Jensen taught me well...


...and I am sure would be proud

January 04, 2016

Purity...

Music | Headlock by Imogen Heap

I get so much joy out of processing film. It is a time when I am in the moment, especially pulling the big 8x10 neg out of the tank for the first time, and always having that sigh of relief of seeing image.

It is the closest thing for me to be a magician. Turning a blank sheet of film into a view-able object. After doing this for over 30 years, I'm still amazed at the various analogue photographic processes.



My hands still linger of fixer and my skin is dry as a desert. There are containers to wash and clean and dry, put away the chemicals, put away the equipment used. My negatives are still wet, so I distract time doing something else... Right now on the computer, writing about the process... Still wet.

Patience is mandatory, the process is slow, tedious and exact. Chemicals must be mixed, poured and timed. I'm not only a magician, but a chemist and dancer as well.

It is the time between that I think I love so much. That period where you are forced to wait. Time passes and if you aren't distracting yourself with something else, your mind goes to a place where things can fall in, epiphanies, ideas, and often, things out of left field where you say to yourself, wtf?

Time to check the film again...
 
-- --