August 30, 2008

A Nice Distraction...

Music | One for Daddy-O by Cannonball Adderley

All summer long, Dara has been going to summer camp for all of the morning and most of the day, which leaves my time with her to a minimum... Drag as it has been, she has been having a great summer with lots to talk about and new skills under her belt. This last week, there was no summer camp, so we've been able to just hang out together to ride our bikes, hike in the woods, ice cream runs... I know she is getting to an age where she'd rather hang out with friends and do the gossipy things girls her age do and most all, to my chagrin, talk about boys... I've been told by my friends with girls a bit older than she that this time would come... I hope I'm ready!

So though I'd like to spend the last few days of summer vacation with her alone, she got to go with one of her best friends to Oaks Park Amusement Park to do whatever they wanted. Roller Coasters, other rides that would make me vomit, ice cream cones and lots of girl talk as they waited for their turn to get on the rides, ensued. As the evening was ending, they got to go an a ride, not unlike a ferris wheel, but could rotate 360º in a cage called the Rock O Plane. Since no one was waiting in line to go on, the operator of the ride asked if the rider would like to stay on or get off. 4 more times they went without having to get out and start over... No thanks!

So as school approaches, another year starting, one level of growing up surpassed, we go into another. 9 years old and 4th grade... Here she comes!





August 27, 2008

August 23, 2008

August 23, 1924

I've heard that lots of people pass close to their birth day. So it was for my Mom. She would have been 84, today.

So to deal with my Mom's death, I've been trying to stay busy, but still let the grieving take its course. I had one dream this past week where I was sleeping and heard my Mom's pitter patter footsteps in her slippers walking along the linoleum floor like when I was a kid. The rhythm can only be make by a little Japanese woman. I suddenly woke up expecting to see her...

Almost any conversation I have about my Mom brings on a tear. It won't matter where I am or what I'm doing...

I was driving in the car, listening to music running an errand and something on the radio reminded me of my Mom. I started crying like a blubbering baby.

Ha, even as I write this I can feel the tears coming. It isn't necessarily sadness, I don't think. I have lots of happy memories that can keep me going for a long time. It is just that she is gone... OK, it is the meloncholy...

August 15, 2008

Japanese Origami Cranes...

There is a Japanese folk tale about making 1000 origami cranes so you may have a healthy life, marriage, wish... When my Mom was told of her situation, she started making them, not with the intention of making 1000 of them so she could survive, but to give to people who crossed her path. She gave them to friends, neighbors in her retirement complex, nurses, doctors, even people at the pharmacy. My sister told me during a previous visit,she would see her origami cranes all over the place... My Mom told each recipient that the Crane represented a long an happy life...

When I visited my Mom in July, she made a special crane for Dara. I thought it would be nice to photograph her with her own crane. It is kept in her jewelry box with its own partition...

Rest in Peace...

At approximetely 4:45 p.m. CST, my Mom passed away with my Dad and one of my sisters by her side. When my phone rang minutes ago and I saw it was my other sister calling, I braced myself for the news. The inevitable has happened.

My mother passed on her own terms. With only 3 months advance notice, she never once wavered in her strength and never pitied herself. She was always concerned about how the rest of us were doing, in the face of what she was going thru. She didn't fear death and was ready to go when the time came.

Our last conversation, she expressed her last wishes for me, told me that everything would be ok and that she love me. I'm happy of our last goodbye...

August 13, 2008

The Strength of a Mom...

Music | Colors Fade by Rie Sinclair

My Mom is an amazing woman. Apparently this morning, she wasn't doing well at all. She went into a bit of a panic from what I can understand. The hospice nurse was called in and it was of her opinion that my Mom was going thru similar actions of a person just before they would die. I just found out minutes ago what had happened so I called immediately. I was surprised to here my Mom so coherent as she was when she was given the phone. As I told her I loved her so much and burst out into tears, my Mom was consoling me... She said that every thing is OK and that everything is in place as she would want it.

It does make me feel so much more at ease to know that she is at peace before she herself lets go.

Curves, LIne and Speed

Music | The Sea by Morcheeba

It was nice to have some distraction from the end of last week into the weekend. Lots of hard work, but being fulfilled with amazing stimuli for the ears and the eyes. My first visit to the lauded race track of Laguna Seca in Monterey, CA was a lot of fun. I love cars, but the cars I saw over the weekend were true works of art. I was covering the Ferrari Challenge for a client, but was also treated to some historic car racing as well.







August 01, 2008

Patience and Distraction

Music | Reel Life (Evolution II) by The Cinematic Orchestra

During my time floating, as I am still, I don't want to over look some great things that have happened over the last few months. My movements may be slow, but I've got lots that needs to get off the ground...

I found myself finding my way back to large format photography, which got me closer to Platinum Palladium printing and Wet Plate Collodian alumitypes. I found new interest in shooting more film, first 4x5 and now 21/4, which took me to the Yashica Mat124G and now to a Hasselblad that a very good friend Connie has lent me.

I may have put myself in a position of having lots of distractions for a reason, but my flame to accomplish some goals I've set for myself are strong. With other distractions going on, a job in Monterey, CA coming up along with some other odds and ends, I'm not sure when I'll be able to set some concrete to some of my goals. Feels good though to have things waiting for me...
 
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