April 27, 2010

I Can't Get No, Satisfaction...

Music | Familiar Ground by The Cinematic Orchestra

Lately, I have not gotten a lot of satisfaction of shooting with my digital camera. A tool is merely a tool, a means to creating... But like my Craftsman socket wrench in my hand, which feels like a old friend, even if months and months go by since using it last, it feels comfortable, just right in my hands as I loosen or tighten a bolt.

Though some of my recent work has been menial and I admit to it, I am getting no where near the satisfaction I used to. I'm not sure if it is the digital process, or my subject matter. I know I've been wanting to transition back to shooting more traditional film and especially Wet Plate Collodian. Lots of effort go into shooting film, much more so than just grabbing my bag and lighting and go to shoot with my digital kit.

My other issue is that I am fighting... fighting to let go... I'm afraid of the same old fears of yesterday as I try and go back to shooting the traditional format... I have this idea stuck in my head that I need to "back up" my film shoot with digital... Just in case... Well, I think I've not gotten over the fact that I need to just stop. I need to get out and fuck up, make mistakes and waste not only my time but others as well. I guess that is where my fear comes in the most... Wasting time... But with progression, there are casualties. I'll have to live with that... Meanwhile, days go by and I create more nothing... I'm not going to lose this battle...

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