October 22, 2011

Life in the Balance...

Music | Rain by RJD2

I have always been in the mindset that things do happen for a reason, which I guess makes me somewhat of a believer that some things are destined... However, my life and beliefs are hardly consistent, so any judgements can make total sense or none at all. I go on and live the way I do, hoping for the best things to happen.

For the past day and a half, I had an event occur that made me think that my life was somewhat in jeopardy. Surprisingly, I've held it somewhat together, not mentioning it to a soul, until I found more affirmation, one way or another. As my existence hung in the balance, I stayed home, took care of business that I had been putting off to keep my mind occupied. On occasion, I was reminded I was in a floating world, on the edge, at least in my mind.

It really is too bad that we have to get to this point, of thinking we are not going to be among the living to start appreciating life. As soon as I was put into this mindset, I immediately wrote to my daughter, my appreciation for her, my feelings, my love... I hoped that the message would come across as I had meant it.

Unimportant things fell away, things I felt important to accomplish became a check mark on my to do list. All the sudden, things were crystal clear...

This morning, by the happenstance of nature, I got my answer to my future. I took a deep breath and the impetus of my fears were washed away, at least for now.

Where will I go from here...

1 comment:

Christopher Perez said...

There is nothing like crisis to force us to live in the moment. Just now.

Not out "there". In "here". Not in the past with all it's regrets. Not with the future with all it's fears.

Only now. Only here.

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