More Good Byes...

Music | Threads by David S. Ware

I'm back home from an emotional trip to the Midwest to see Mom. I'll just get right to it... I wrote late evening after my Mom's living wake...

2008-07-05

It is the night before I will never see my mother again... Every moment of the day carries the weight of a lifetime. I see sadness and pain and I feel for my mother... I see fleeting joy and happiness and know it will really be short lived... I can't bear the thought that after tomorrow, I will never see her again. We'll talk on the phone, I'll send photos, but the largest part of my own life will move on, out of this lifetime that I am apart of.

I sit hear writing, tears falling from my eyes, with my mind filled with thoughts of my mother. I'm glad that I was a part of today, with my family and some of her friends to show our love... I know she had a good day, with lots of smiles and feelings of true love.

I will miss you so much Mom. I love your with all my heart!

And yesterday at the airport while waiting for my flight...

2008-07-08

The day of departing our separate ways was bittersweet. Mom woke up early not feeling comfortable. We all knew that for me, it would be the last time I would see her. We sat outside around the front door and as the seconds to the moment to say good bye came, Mom said this would be the last time she would be here, put her face in her lap and let loose. I've never seen her cry like this, openly sobbing. The only time that came close was when she got a call from Japan to hear that her last surviving brother had just passed away. I could only follow Mom's lead, crying and trying to console her at the same time. She said that she wasn't emotional like this because she was dying, but because that she would not be around the family anymore, of being together.

I walked her to the car where she got seated and situated. I gave her one last hug, one last kiss on the cheek and told her I loved her. Dad pulled out of the drive way and moved forward to head home as Mom waved thru the open window.